Memorial Day Weekend with the P's and R's

I barely remember getting out of the car this weekend. We spent at least 20 hours in the car - literally. Friday we drove to Albany, GA. Saturday night we drove to Atlanta. Sunday night we drove back to Albany. Monday we headed back to FLL. Can you say, "Glad to be in my own bed?"

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I did something quite out of character yesterday that I pondered for hours afterwards.

We made the obligatory Memorial Day stop at Macy's in Orlando yesterday on the way home. Walking into the building K was in front of me and Sid and my mother were a few feet behind me. K held the door for me and I was going to hold the door for the rest of the crew. Before they got there two other ladies got to the door before them. I was holding the door anyway so I kept on holding it. The first lady said thank you and held it for the next lady (they were together). I was really waiting for Sid so I didn't move from the door but instead kept holding it open. The second lady was a bit older. She didn't say thank you as she came through but she sort of smiled so whatever. What got me was that she was oblivious to the fact that there was anyone else around. She walked through and practically let the door hit my kid who wasn't even two steps behind her at that point. My demeanor changed immediately as you can imagine and my sarcastic side came out. Normally I would have just been exasperated but I would have kept my comments to myself. Not this time. Instead I said, "Thanks for holding the door for my son." She asked me to repeat myself which I did. She claimed to not have known he was there. They were the only four people withing 50 ft of each other and they were all walking towards the same door. How could she not even do a shoulder-check before letting go of the door? I could have gone off on her about my loss of faith in humanity and the self-centered, self-absorbed nature of north americans, but I didn't bother.

I felt bad about it later. Not about saying something but about not explaining myself. She left with the misconception that I have "chip on my shoulder." I know because she said as much. She knows I heard her but I didn't say anything. I was really surprised my mother didn't go off because she's always been a firecracker.

Was it worth it? In the end I was still exasperated.

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I finished reading "The Da Vinci" code. All I'll say right now is that I thought it was a good read - definitely a page-turner.

It's My Birthday, It's My Birthday, Go ShellyP, It's My Birthday!!

Today has been chock full of surprises. I've gotten well wishes from so many people that I would not have expected to hear from. I even got an email from Mocha's mom which dang near made me cry considering I've never heard from anyone on my father's side of the family on my birthday before.

My Sid came and told me happy birthday first thing this morning, which, of course, made my day. My husband had a Cadbury Fruit N Nut chocolate bar hidden in the car. I got phone calls and emails. It was nice.

At work I was treated royally. SP baked cranberry scones with love and brought them in for me and everyone else to enjoy. The lunch location was up to me so I chose Grand Lux Cafe (I swear I was gonna get the pancakes) but with a 45-60 min wait we opted for Cheesecake Factory at the last minute. They were able to take us (a party of 11) right away, which was great. (Unfortunately we lost three people in the transition - they didn't check their messages in time to find out the change of plans.) I had a full-sized portion of the Louisiana Chicken Pasta which, of course, I couldn't finish. But, true to form, my gluttonous co-workers forced me to order dessert. I chose the key lime cheesecake. As a matter of fact, all except one person ate dessert. After lunch I came back to a shiny apple on my desk (no, get your mind out the gutter - I was not playing teacher) and a bit later there was a card.

Maybe I'm getting old and sentimental but these seemingly little things mean a lot. I'm such a sap!

Change of Plans

The people we were supposed to be staying with this weekend are going out of town. That leaves us without accomodations. And in Orlando, decent accomodations are not cheap. We were almost resigned to our fate of being stuck at home (at least 2/3 kids would be gone) when my mother saved the day - kind of. She was supposed to leave for Toronto this weekend but her plans got postponed. Instead she'll be visiting her "2nd home" in Albany, GA, and also spending a day in the ATL. She's looking for company, hence new plans have emerged. My mother was going to rent a car but I need new tires. Aha! She agreed to get me new tires!

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I was reading a depressing article on CNN today. Every time I think that things can't get any worse, I hear something like this. A friend of mine asked me yesterday if there is anything that I find disturbing. The story of these women would more than qualify.

The Week Ahead

I finished reading "A Fly On The Wall" by Trista Russell. It was a good read. It's about a teacher-student relationship. Much better than her first book. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be starting "Da Vinci Code."

This weekend we're hoping to head to Orlando yet again - the annual trip for the kids which just happens to more often than not fall on my bday weekend. (Do I sound bitter?) This year, however, the kids are old enough to go with their peers. That means an almost kidless weekend. I'm sort of looking forward to it.

Say It Ain't So!

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ok, I knew it! My girl - Danielle - is America's Next Top Model!

I said it. Just look at her. She deserved it. I almost thought they were going to make it a tie cause I would have been happy for Joanie too if she won.

As for American Idol, Elliot was bound to get the boot. Excellent vocals but he lacked in personality.

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Been so tired lately. Pregnancy and having a cold don't mix too well.

When did going to McD's become so difficult? I rarely go there but last Friday I went for lack of being able to decide on something else. I tried to order a #8 with a lemonade (no ice).

1. Why did the lady add an extra drink to the order?


2. Why did the same lady not understand me when I asked her what sauces they had?


3. Why did I have to repeat myself four times??


4. Why when I asked for honey sauce did she give me caramel?


5. I thought speaking or at least understanding English was a requirement for jobs here in the US. Was I expecting too much?

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May 25 is on the way!

Semantics?

Obviously I don't understand the meaning of the word 'illegal'. How is it that people can come here and demand that we change our rules to accomodate them? To do that would be an affront to all the people who actually got their status legally - myself included. What am I missing? I've been listening to this debate for the past few weeks and I still don't get it. And as for this wiretapping business, it totally blows me away. B.ush says "we know what's best for you." WTH? 2400+ military men and women killed so far, uncountable injured physically if not at least mentally, no diplomacy with respect to international relations, and playing big brother with our lives - citizens of the United States! Do we live in a dictatorship or a free society??

How much of your privacy are you willing to give up for the sake of "national security?"

It looks like a GIRL!!

So far, me and my vain self have suggested 'Shelby' and 'Victoria'. K says her prefers 'Morgan'. I said ok, her name will be Shelby Victoria Morgan.

Let's just say I'm taking suggestions for names that preferably begin with an 's' and end with a 'y'.

I was in no way implying that the boy does not have good points. I'd be lying if I said he didn't.

So many factors. So many issues.

Gig said it right when she said my post reminded her of a typical teenager. We are born selfish and I don't know anyone who likes to be bound by a higher authority. People will kick against the prick just because they want to and not necessarily because of something at home. On the flip side, I don't know any household without their share of problems, my own being a typical example.

Talk, yes, we're doing better with the talking. I'm trying to help K come up with an activity that both he and Jr can do together that would give them some alone time and hopefully encourage some type of dialog. For myself, I realize that in marrying K his son became my son (sort of). Jr and I used to talk more when he was younger during drives to and from school. Now we barely see each other, literally, but I still try to at least play mediator, as mothers are known to do, with the father being mainly the disciplinarian. It's a learning experience for everyone involved.

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The other day a friend of mine out of the blue told me that I have beautiful eyes. Gotta say I miss BdaB. He was always good at boosting my ego.

"So much trouble in the world"

Well, at least in my house.

Life has been so busy lately. I know that's everyone's sob story so I shouldn't feel like I'm so special. lol.

Last Saturday the 15 yr-old was caught driving the car of a lady from our church. Can you say 'ballistic'? Yes, that was my husband. Then we found out the boy dang-near groped one of his female friends that he's known since elementary school. She was more than upset and tried to get her fist to connect with any part of his body but his reflexes are quick so he got away. She flung some words at him though to give him an idea of how she felt about what he did.

History.
The boy and his father have had issues from before I met them. This boy's mother lives on the other side of the country and didn't (seem to me) to fight enough to keep her son (that's a whole other story - too much drama to recount). Anyway, the boy is trying to be independent which is fine but his father expects him to learn some responsibility along the way, which is also understandable. When the boy bought himself size 38 pants (his waist is 31 btw and the pants are even too big for his father) his daddy almost threw them out. Instead he actually let him return them to the store for a store credit. The pants issue has been going on for about two years now, although I think the boy has finally gotten over it. In the meantime, he has three chores that he can't seem to do consistently (wash the dishes, sweep the floor three days a week, and put out the trash two days a week). Oh, I forgot, he has to do his own laundry and clean his own bathroom. What a rough life this child leads, wouldn't you say? He, of course, feels he's on lockdown despite the fact that every weekend after church he's going to someone's house for lunch, plus he goes on church trips and school trips. The one time he was told he couldn't go to the mall at 8 o'clock on a Sat night with a bunch of guys older than him he decided there was no use in doing his chores. A few days later we all sat down and had (what I thought) was a pretty good discussion about the whole state of affairs in our household. Sometime following that discussion is when the aforementioned grope and car incidents occurred. That is why his father went 'ballistic' on him, becuase here we thought things were maybe going to get better, or at least stay the same, but not get worse like endangering others' lives by driving someone's car or disrespecting someone and their personal space.

The rest of Saturday was a wash with hours of extended family discussions as aunts and uncles got in on the act. I thought it was productive and this week has been better. I'll keep you posted.

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Oh, and for the record, I would not ask for a pic of my ex's wife. I don't need to see her that badly. I've always known what church they go to but I've never cared enough to even pay them a visit. Que sera sera. We're fine just how we are.

Birds Of A Feather...NOT

My ex-fiance was a wonderful guy. I'll give him that much. But he was immature in a lot of ways. (Not to say I was the most mature person considering how long I stayed in that situation.) Or maybe 'country' would be a better word. He was too ragged around the edges and lacked refinement and even simple manners sometimes. I'll never forget the day I introduced him to a girlfriend of mine. She had come up from Jamaica and her cousin brought her by my house to say hi but they weren't going to stay. I went out to the car and told her I wanted her to meet my fiance. He was sitting on the couch in the living room watching tv, I believe. Anyway I brought her in the house and he didn't stand. I'm hard-pressed to say he even offered a handshake. To me, that was embarassing. In general, he swore he was smooth. He liked to put on an air of overconfidence that's hard to explain; he was vain. Then he went to another extreme, getting overzealous in his Christianity, IMHO (became a vegan, wouldn't shave, etc.). In the end it was still hard for me to break up with him. Actually, if you ask him he would say it was mutual. Uh huh. I returned his ring once and he begged me to take it back which I did. Before I returned it the second time I wasted time trying to make sure the split was mutual. Maybe the time wasn't wasted. Maybe sparing his feelings was the right thing to do? I don't know. It was a learning experience for both of us, that's the best I can say. He's been married for a few years now and I rarely see him which is fine. I have never seen his wife and I know it's a girl thing but I want to see what she looks like. Go figure.

Have a good weekend!

ANTM

Hubby's girl, Nnenna, is gone. Too bad. She started off strong but she not only did she NOT improve, she didn't even remain as good as she was. I think Danielle and Joanie will be the top two. Joanie takes some amazing pictures and is very versatile (to use Jade's word). Danielle is consistenly beautiful but not as versatile - her look is usually the same - statuesque, regal.

With the ding dong quote I was referring to "Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward. Sorry if I stumped you.

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I was accepted to Spelman College as a freshman but I would have had to move to Atlanta by myself. At 17 I wasn't ready to venture out just yet so instead I moved to South Florida with my mother and attended F.A.U. (which us students used to joke stood for "Find Another University"). How did that choice affect who I am now? Could I be more vain and elitist than I am? lol

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I knew I didn't love him. My twisted logic was that he was a good man who was all into me and I could be a good wife to him. According to my mother we fought all the time. I didn't notice. I did notice that a lot of times I found myself almost embarassed to be with him in public. Not a good sign. We made it all the way to pre-marriage counseling. At one point we had individual sessions with the counselor. He asked me straight out if I loved the guy and I told him no. We talked a bit more and, of course, he told me I shouldn't marry him. So, I didn't. I was 24 years old.

Contrast that with my current situation. I met K and within two weeks I knew he was the one for me. I didn't tell him. I waited and waited to see something I couldn't live with or tolerate but I never did. Six months later we decided to get married and three months after that we were married.

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American Idol - Who's going home?? I'd say Kelly or Taylor.

Me and my main 3 yr-old squeeze

See more of him here.

Taken 4-24-06

See my babies! And soon I'll have another!

Bothersome

Singing Bug

One of the things that bothers me is when I take the time to write out meeting notes or technical explanations and make sure to send them to everyone involved only to have people ask me questions a few days later. I don't mean questions for clarification or content correction, but questions that are answered in the material I sent out. If you need information I send you, why not read it first before asking me any questions? If not then it defeats the purpose of disseminating the information in the first place! How frustrating. And when I refer the person back to the email I sent I'm almost made to feel like I shouldn't be, that I should be fine with repeating myself.

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Riding to work this morning I couldn't get Ding, dong, ding, bellll! Ring it! out of my head.

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Yesterday I found myself reflecting a bit on my past and any regrets I may have had or wondering how things would have been different had I opted to go any of various other routes.

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(Modified from Chele's Version) 6 Not-So-Wacky Things About Me

1. I am a nervous wreck if I have to do anything in front of a group of people, yet I forced myself to take Drama I back in high school. I survived even though the final required us to perform solo. The class has NOT helped me in life.


2. I don't have a problem with my man watching pornos as long as he doesn't try to hide it. (Not saying he does or doesn't, of course.)


3. I was engaged for two years to a man I didn't love.


4. I used to say I wanted to have children without going through the pain of childbirth. In other words, I wanted to have C-sections.


5. I used to want to be a judge without having to be a lawyer first. Now I know I'd rather be a lawyer because I love to argue (no smart comments BDaB), although I don't know how that would work considering #1 above.


6. Another one of my pet peeves (besides needlessly having to repeat myself to lazy people or those without adequate reading skills) is people who drag their feet when they walk.

I know I'm late. I've been stalking her for months now and only recently started commenting. I check her blog at least once a day, sometimes twice. I know you all read her already. I know I'm the last one to add her to my blogroll. It's Nikki, y'all!

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Pregnancy is fine so far. The headaches have subsided quite a bit. Pretty uneventful otherwise. No throwing up (although I did have to run to the bathroom once in the middle of eating an egg on cheese bagel for breakfast). Been feeling kind of gluttonous lately. Just had a 6" turkey sub for lunch, a bowl of fruit sort of for dessert, and believe me I still want to eat my yogurt! Anyway, I think I'm beginning to feel the baby moving inside me now. Pretty cool. I love being pregnant.

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ANTM - I was surprised Jade was in the bottom two because of her fakeness. I thought it was going to be Sara. Brooke, of course, I knew had to go. She claims she's not a crybaby yet she's always teary-eyed. Whatever. Maybe Sara will go next week. How do they really expect her to be passionate? They went to her not the other way around. Oh, and Nnenna needs to leave her man. She is obviously not feeling him anymore.

Options

Do any of you do any options trading? I went to a seminar last week and hubby got the investing bug. He's dabbled in it before and didn't do too badly. Now he's interested in options. Any recommendations on books to read or websites to check out?

I KNEW it!

Yes, I said it first that Leslie was going home! Poor thing. Nice pics. Not enough skills. Oh well. See ya, Les! Next week will probably be Sara unless she somehow finds herself and makes proper use of her height.

For the record, I only have one biological son (for now). My husband has a 15 year old son who lives with us and an 11 year old daughter who lives with her mother. That's why SP said if I had a girl then I'd have two of each gender.

It's Been A Week

I don't have any excuse for not posting, I just haven't. But I heard from a couple of people today (in particular Mocha Girl and BdaB) who indirectly motivated me to get up and say something.

My next ultrasound isn't for another four weeks (if I can ever get an appt). I've unsuccessfully tried three times to make an appt but each time "the computers just went down." Should I be looking for another doctor??

'Everyone' says I'm having a girl this time but what do they know? I've come to grips with the fact that I'm partial to boys. Maybe having a girl will be good for me. (As soon as I know the gender, you'll know the gender.)

The deadline to file taxes is upon us and I have a couple of things left to input. Usually I take care of the taxes. This year is hubby's turn. I'm taking a break. He just tells me what he thinks he needs, I tell him what he does need, and somehow one of us finds it.

Work is uneventful. I've been reading up on AJAX and DOM and Javascript. It should be more interesting to me than it is. I'm not really feeling any work right now. If I wasn't trying to save my time for after the baby is born I would take a week off. BUT, Mocha may be coming down sooner than expected. If she does, I'll finally get to meet her!

American Idol? Not much to say here. Gotta wait and see who gets kicked off this week.

ANTM? I felt sorry for Mollie Sue. She doesn't come off like a model but she's really pretty even without trying. Tonight I'm guessing Brooke or Leslie will go.

Too Sexy For My Job

So I'm sitting at my desk (yesterday), having a good hair day, constantly looking out the window and wondering what I'm doing here. The weather is absolutely gorgeous outside and me and my cute self are stuck inside. The world needs to see me but I have code to write!

The pic you see here was taken yesterday evening outside of Lowe's. Hubby and I want to repaint the living room so we were looking at paint swatches. If you look closely you'll see my belly button poking out. (This weekend I'll be four months.)

Oh, I haven't updated you lately on the rats. You may remember that we caught one a while back. I think it was last week that we caught another. I heard a lot of rustling and then K was calling me downstairs. We had left out some traps cause we knew there was at least one critter left. Wouldn't you know one got stuck on the glue trap with all fours! It was trying to get away but of course it couldn't do anything but make noise. It totally grossed me out. K took a mop and a broom and smooshed him in the middle. Then we slid it to the front door and used a shovel to pick it up and put it in the trash bin (fortunately it was garbage day). I thought that was the end of it until the next day we started to smell something funny. About a week before we had finally put out rat poison as a last resort. Something ate it all up and we believe that's what we've been smelling. Every day, as long as we're home, the windows go open and the candles are lit. I think the smell is almost all gone now.

A Grand Lux Cafe opened up nearby. It's a sister restaurant to the Cheesecake Factory. Amazing menu. I picked up something there for dinner last Thursday but I wasn't too impressed. I usually love chicken pot pie but this one had way too much butter. The creme brulee on the other hand was excellent. Hubby said it was too eggy but whatever. So anyway, we decided to try going there for breakfast one day. One day ended up being this past Sunday. We had brioche french toast, perfectly fluffed pancakes, an omelette and hot chocolate. Again, I was less than impressed. My favorites were the pancakes and hot chocolate. As we were eating these huge portions of food I got to thinking about how excessive we are in this country. So much goes to waste unnecessarily. We have a culture of greed and that carries over into everything we do. When I visit other countries it's not this way - it appears that people live to live, as opposed to living to exceed like we do here. Maybe I'm just oversensitive seeing that I live in superficial South Florida.

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I really enjoy the benefits of being pregnant. It's nice to be catered to, to not be expected to do anything. At church the ladies are always finding young men to carry my load for me. When I go somewhere I'm always offered a seat. People's expectations of me are lowered, and that's nice sometimes. I can eat as much as I want without being harassed. I'm expected to rest a lot. No one wants to be the one to stress me out. Even with my cute belly hubby still has a healthy appetite. Not to mention my breasts are swelling. Hubby keeps looking at me and making comments. I told him that since he likes them so much maybe I should get something done. He just laughed. He didn't say no though. Hmph. I know I'm biased towards this whole pregnancy thing because I haven't had any real complaints. Not the first time around and so far not this time around *knock on wood*.

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Having a 15 year old stepson without common sense and not having many female friends for various reasons made me think (again) about our mental capacities when we're born. If some people have a knack for mathematics and others the arts, who's to say people aren't born with a natural inclination towards logic or otherwise? (Try to follow me here. I'm beginning to confuse myself even though it made sense in my head.) I'm trying to understand why some people just don't have sense. Or why some people are "ditzy." Why does someone become a genius? If you watch the wannabe models on ANTM, for example, even as they're all taught the same thing they don't all have the skill and talent and brains to make proper use of the knowledge. And no matter how much you teach, skill and practice can only get you so far. How do you teach someone to have innate ability? You can't. So, with that said, how much can we really expect from the less logical of us? Why even bother getting upset with them? I know, their inability to make intelligent decisions cannot and should not prevent them from reaping what they sow. I know we still have to try to teach in hopes that at least one person will "get it." We can't give up. I'm just sayin' it gets tiresome.

Motivation

I attended a motivational day-long seminar this past Wednesday. A bunch of people from work went and I managed to get a ticket through a co-worker's wife (long, convoluted story). There were some big-name speakers there (Zig Ziglar, Steve Forbes, Jerry Lewis, Suze Orman, Don Shula, Rudy Guiliani, Colin Powell). There were a couple of other people who I had never heard of before (Krishna D, Phil Town, Tom Hopkins, Peter Lowe). I won't bore you with my observations but I will give you a few highlights of the presentations that stood out.

1. Tom Hopkins was a top real estate salesman, selling a house a day for a year. He explained a bit about the art of effective questioning, and gave us some words we should never say. Question Form 1 is the Tie-Down: Ask a question that demands a yes, i.e. "We're having fun today, aren't we?" Don't use more than two of these in a presentation. Question Form 2 is the Inverted Tie-Down: Ask a question that suggests a yes, i.e. "Aren't we having fun today?" These can be used freely. Question Form 3 is the Alternate Positive: Ask a question that assumes a yes, i.e. "I'm available next Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. Which day would be better for you?" The point of these questions is that the minor victories in getting people to say yes to you eventually lead up the final victory of closing the 'sale'.
   Words never to use and what to use instead: buy - use own instead; contract - use paperwork/form/agreement instead; sign - use endorse/OK/approve instead; price - use investment instead; downpayment - use initial investment instead.
   I bet that the next time you talk to a salesman you'll notice him using some of these techniqes.


2. Suze Orman is a leading finance expert. She talked about how to make more out of less. She said everyone should have a will AND a living revocable trust with an incapacitation clause. When you make any large purchase, like buying a house, it should be put in the name of the trust. If there are two signatures on the contract and one person becomes incapacitated, then the person left will still be able to sell the property if necessary. She also said that if you own a home, make sure you find out exactly what your home insurance covers in case your house gets totally destroyed.


3. Four-Star General Colin Powell. This man had an amazing presence. By far, his was the best presentation. I can't tell you what he talked about exactly, but his face stays with me. I was very surprised at how personable he appeared and how funny he was.

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ANTM - I am SO glad they got rid of Gina! It's too bad she sucks as a model because with makeup the girl is stunning. Every week I'm surprised by Danielle. She is probably my favorite. Nnenna is my husband's favorite. She takes some excellent pictures. Joanie surprised me. She hasn't stood out for me until this week.

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My father's side is all black as far as I can tell. Everyone from his parents on up were born and raised in Grenada (maybe Mocha Girl has more info on this line).

My mother's side is quite diverse. My grandfather was a white Jamaican. His parents were some mix of Scottish/Irish/etc. My grandmother was an indian Jamaican. Her grandparents were from India. It is to them that I attribute my luxurious and sometimes bothersome hair. *Aside* Mocha, I'll make sure I shave my legs before you get here but I'm notshaving my arms! :) *End aside*

Have a great weekend, everyone!

I've been feeling quite antisocial lately. I know that's no excuse for not talking to my peeps, but I really haven't had anything of interest to say. I could tell you that I thought Jade tore it up on ANTM last week. She really redeemed herself. I was shocked though when they let Kari go instead of Gina, esp since they said all that crap about Kari being moldable. I could talk about American Idol but that's not exciting enough yet. When they get down to the top six, then I'll be at the edge of my seat. Hmm, nobody wants to read about work, do they? I've been stuck in documentation-hell for the past month and I'm trying to get out. But everytime I think I'm done "they" decide there are more enhancements/clarifications/corrections to be made. *sigh* As you can guess I did not make it to NY. That turned out to be for the best because I had to fork over $240 so far to get my AC fixed. Plus, I finally did something I've been contemplating for a while - I got rid of my unsightly upper lip hair! Yes, and I did it myself without wax. Ms J from ANTM put me over the edge when 'she' made fun of Danielle's mustache. My grandmother used to use Nair for as long as I can remember. She always told me that if my hair started to grow never to get rid of it because it would just grow in thicker. Oh well, 20+ years later and I'm putting her advice to the test. Sorry, BdaB for having to wait for you to leave to get the courage to try this. Thank you for being my friend anyway. :) My next endeavor is to get perfect eyebrows like my husband who was unfairly born with them.

Hey All!

Thanks for the well-wishes and for bearing with my absence. I've been busy, but not an interesting type of busy. You probably already read from SP that they laid off someone from our department. Apart from that it's been work as usual. Sid and I have been sick all weekend. He's on day two of his fever. I want to go to New York next weekend. My great-grandmother's niece passed away and I think it would be a perfect opportunity to meet a whole line of family I've never known. I'm reading Chele's book, Raymond's Daughters. I don't know if it's cause I'm pregnant or if the writing is just that good :) but I've found myself almost moved to tears a couple of times so far. One of my fave shows right now is America's Next Top Model. Last Friday I found myself defending the women of our department to the men, swearing that we look just as good as those girls on ANTM. We do! I also told the guy who just married that we were the best looking women at the reception. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have said that? His reply was something about me being confident but he seemed to take it well enough. Oh well. What can I say. I'm not taking it back now. Speaking of pictures, in a few months I'm going to get some pregnancy pictures taken. One of my co-workers is a photographer and he takes awesome pictures. Anyway, I'm starving now. Gotta go feed the babies! Later.

Here's The Latest News!

11 weeks and 6 days
Length: 5.3 cm
Heartrate: 160 bpm
Due Date: 9/23/2006

This is the last one....

Ok, I know I'm belaboring the point, but when Shawn suggested I tell the guy I have a pic, little did he know that I actually DO have a picture of the half-eaten cake. lol. Click on the pic for a closer look!


I promise, promise, promise that tomorrow I'll have a better post! Trust me!

I decided to ask my coworker yesterday about the cake incident to see his reaction. I didn't do it in a confrontational way; the conversation went similar to this,

ShellyP: Hey, RK, something curious happened at the wedding.

RK: Yeah? What was that.

ShellyP: Someone took a piece of cake. And it was at W's seat right after you left. Did she take it?

RK: I don't know. I'll have to ask her.

ShellyP: The bride was pretty upset.

RK: What time did they take pictures? (Note: He left at 11 pm.)

ShellyP: 11:30 pm.

RK: 11:30 pm? (He asked incredulously.)

ShellyP: I didn't want to think it was you guys. Cutting that cake was not a good thing to do.

RK: I'll have to ask her. I'll have to ask her if it was her or JW's wife. (Note: JW is our boss!) Sometimes W does things that she shouldn't.

blah, blah, blah, whatever

The rest of the day he spent making sure everyone knew that he was basically drunk before the reception even started and he didn't really anything that went on. Yeah. ok.

It Was A Nice Weekend

The wedding I attended was beautiful. SP was there and it was good to see BdaB and his wife again. Everyone from our department was there looking great. It's a nice change to see another side of people.

The wedding was scheduled to begin at 6:10. K and I zipped in, initially behind the carriage then manouvering our way into a spot, at 6:15. Fortunately the ceremony started at 6:20. It was a simple sunset wedding. I was just glad we weren't the last ones to arrive. Some others arrived with us, after us, and some even missed the ceremony entirely! By 6:35 it was done. Yes, it was a 15 minute ceremony! Not bad. While waiting for the cocktail area to open up we ran to Walgreens to pick up a card to go with the gifts we bought the day before. I know what you're thinking and you're right - we procrastinate way too much! We made it back while the mixing and mingling was still going on. It was an open bar so people were quite "toasty" before the reception even started.

The reception was fun. There were toasts from the best man and matron of honor. Then it was time to eat. I like that, not too many preliminaries to keep the people from the food, which was served buffet style.

Of course, how many weddings do you know that don't have some sort of drama? I thought this one was going to go off perfectly until 11 o'clock or so when SP called me over and showed me something I couldn't believe. She pointed to the groom's cake. I looked and there was a piece missing - the front right corner was cut out! Then she turned me around and showed me who had been eating that cake, which was left half done. It was someone from our department and his guest. They left a few minutes before she showed me. This wouldn't have been half as bad if they had cut the cake after the official cake cutting had taken place, but it happened before.

How could anyone have so little class as to cut someone else's wedding cake?? I shouldn't even say "so little class" because really they had NO class whatsoever. I was quite upset about the whole thing. All I could think about was how we could hide it so that the bride wouldn't see it. I suggested that we tell the best man. While SP was finding him, the matron of honor came over with another lady and they looked at the cake and were obviously discussing what to do. They took the bridal bouquet and laid it up against the missing corner. I was temporarily relieved until I saw them bring this whole thing to the bride's attention. Needless to say, she was visibly upset. That made me even more upset that they told her. Didn't they think about the fact that she still had pictures to take!

Other than that it was great. A memorable occassion.

Holy Matrimony

I have a wedding to attend tomorrow night. One of my co-workers is getting married. He invited the whole office! Good for him. When I got married I only invited my friends and family. lol. I really like attending weddings. I love to watch people in love making vows to each other. At least for that moment I believe they are sincere. Anyway, going to weddings makes me think of my own wedding (of course!) Not the perfect one I plan to have, but the perfect one I already had. Ok, it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn close, especially considering our limited budget.

Garden setting: We didn't get married in a church. I found a place in Kendall (South Miami) that had a beautiful courtyard setting. The florist even hooked us up with a bunch of free flowers because the wedding after hours had already paid for their flowers which just happened to match the colors in my wedding.

Colors: The men wore white suits, including the groom. I wore a modern, sleeveless, slim/trim-fitting white dress. The women wore long wine-colored spaghetti strap dresses.

Treats: Being an outdoor wedding I thought it would apropos to provide bottled water and chinese wooden folding fans, both with our names and wedding date on them. Believe me, they were put to good use.

Invitations, etc: I thought I was so slick doing my own invitations and programs. I designed them and produced them all on my own. When I look back at them now, I still think I was slick!

Timing: This was my only problem. Not mine exactly. I was there way early. So was the groom. The guests were all ontime as far as I could tell being stuck in my bridal prep-room. SP was there helping me keep my sanity. All I wanted to do was run out of the room and get married but the in-laws were over an hour late AND they had the Bible-bearer and flower girl with them. The wedding was supposed to begin at 10 am, before the sun got too hot. Needless to say, by 11:30 people were hiding behind trees, drinking water and fanning themselves.

Entrance: It's all about the entrance and that day it was all about M.E. You better believe it. That had to be the first time in my life that I wasn't nervous being the center of attention. In my mind, I walked out there like a queen. When it came time I recited some verses from my favorite love book of the Bible, Songs of Solomon. My groom then replied with scripture taken from Proverbs that speaks of finding a virtuous woman. I was so proud of my little production. Cameras were flashing, people were staring, and I was IT. Yes, yes, we were it.

Service: The service went smoothly. It was just hot, oh, so hot.

Reception: Being as we started so late everything had to be rushed. That was fine with me. We took some quick pictures and then it was time to eat. When we were introduced I had tied us at the waist. We've been inseparable ever since. Some friends did some beautiful renditions and we blew bubbles for more pictures. The food came out in no time. Classical music was playing in the background. Before I knew it it was time to pack up and head out. And that we did. We took all our gifts and drove to the west coast of Florida, Naples, for our honeymoon.

I know it seems I'm tooting my own horn here. But that's because I am. :)

Have a good weekend!

Often when I'm riding as a passenger I look at all the cars around me and the windows in buildings and think about all the different types of people that make up this world. Every day just driving to work I pass hundreds or thousands of people. Looking up at one apartment building I'm looking at the homes of thousands of people. I wonder what their lives are like. They must have problems like I do. Are they just as bad? Are they worse? Are they not as difficult to deal with? Of course, all are true. I just wonder.

I was reading the news during lunch today and I came across this article: "Mishaps, misunderstandings can be friendship killers." I must admit that I thought of SP and her current "friendship" as I read it. A couple of things stood out....

B. J. Gallagher, author of the book "Friends Are Everything" said, "We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by actions. We have a double standard: We let ourselves off the hook when we feel innocent, but if somebody else does the same thing, we don't give them credit for the same good intentions."

How true is that?? I couldn't have said it better myself.

This is often the root of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, Gallagher said.

I know a lot of people won't agree with this other statement of hers though....

You should still apologize for something that appeared wrong even if your intentions were innocent. "You can still apologize for the impact of your bahavior" even if you're not sorry for the behavior itself (emphasis added by me).

I've heard many a person say, "I don't have to apologize. I didn't do anything wrong." So? It goes back to self-centeredness and not being willing or able to look at yourself objectively instead of subjectively.

We all have to live on earth together. Why not make your corner of the world a pleasant place to be?

Pet Peeves and More

Yesterday during lunch the topic of accountability came up. That has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves - people who act like nothing is ever their fault. It's right up there with the people who say "amen" in church cause they just know the preacher is talking to someone else in the congregation. I have to keep my contact with the aforementioned people to a minimum. It boggles my mind that a person can do x which results in y but then swear it wasn't his/her fault. A know a few people like that. They never look at themselves. They never look into themselves. They make comments like, "I know I'm not perfect, but..." If they really believed they weren't perfect then they would be open to constructive criticism and maybe even take heed of much needed advice. This pet peeve goes hand in hand with the people who resist change because, guess what, they don't need to change. They expect things to change but they don't do anything to facilitate the change. That is insanity, people! If you keep doing the same thing over and over you will always get the same result.

Oh, here's another one (Shawn, you should be able to relate to this considering what you went through with GPM recently) - what about the control freaks / manipulators who act like you should be conforming to what they want? They tend to use guilt to make you do what they want you to do.

Okay, enough venting. I just got a text message from SP. She's in Puerto Rico. She'll be in Anguilla in a couple of hours. I am so jealous!

Stunner: Don't worry about them notes. Once you graduate and start working things'll be so much better. You'll spend your days poring over specs and writing requirement documents and isn't that just so much better? lol

I saved the best for last: See, Mocha Girl isn't the only one who can show off. I have a new cousin, Mia. Take a look. Feel free to leave comments on how beautiful she is!

My little man had a birthday last Friday. He's 3 years old now!

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I don't know who's holding out on me, if it's Mocha Girl or her brother, but somebody needs to give up some pictures of Mia.

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I'm anxiously awaiting a package from Brotha Buck. I know he'll be sending it just at the right time. :)

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I see Chele picked up the "mother and father-in-law" thing. It's not a thing really. My father-in-law was going to NY to help his daughter move to Tennessee. My mother hadn't been to NY since '69 so she just went for the ride.

It's a good thing I didn't go. My mother and I don't travel well together.

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"The Other Woman" - It was an okay read. I find myself wanting to read the classics more though. I enjoy them more. It's a combination of writing style and storyline. It's hard to find contemporary books that have both. So, TOW had a good enough storyline and an ok writing style but nothing that left an imprint on my mind. If you want an easy read, something to take your mind away, then it's good for that. Lately I feel like I'm wasting my time when I read books like that though. This weekend I finished "Going Broke" by Trista Russell. Not as good as TOW but I had to keep turning the pages til I got to the end.

Bright Lights, Big City

My mother is heading up to New York with my father-in-law. I wish I could go with them! If I had the money and the time I would go. I have so much family up there on my grandmother's side that I haven't met yet! The last time I went it was for a conference for work and I went alone. The time before that was with my first fiance (long story). I loved the hustle and bustle. The city is alive at every hour of the day. When I went alone I roamed the streets at night. I toured Macy's - it is awesome. I caught a Broadway show - Beauty and the Beast with Toni Braxton which was really, really good. I took in the various characters around me. I talked to strangers. It was a great experience. I used to claim the title of "City Girl" but I can't say that anymore. I don't have the energy or the impetus to be out and about unless it's for a specific reason, like when Mocha Girl comes to visit, of course. :)

Happy Valentine's and all that jazz

To all the people I love and appreciate, this Valentine's Day is for you! All of you out there who take time out of your day to peek in on my life, I do appreciate you.

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I spent the past two days laid up in bed, literally. I've had some sort of sinus infection. Not nice. I skipped work yesterday to get more much needed rest. I love Mondays off.

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With nothing better to do besides sleep, I read "The Other Woman" by Eric Jerome Dickey, that SP lent me. Now I'm waiting for her to get Chele's book. If she TOLD ME that she was going to order it I would have had her order one for me too. :p Ok, maybe she did and I forgot. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

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Today is the day my cousin's wife is being induced. Yup, they're having their love child on the love day. I can't wait to see pix. Mocha Girl, you gotta hook me up!!

The Naivete of a 15 Year Old

This one really grates on my nerves and I debated whether or not to blog about it due to its sensitive nature. But here it is, as vague and specific as I can make it while still trying to get my point across.

Background
I know a man who has a 15 year old son. From what I understand the parents have joint custody, however the son was made to live with the father (they were together until the son was about 4). The mother lives on the other side of the country. She was ordered to pay a minimal amount of child support, which she has paid maybe once in the past 11 years. The mother is a few years older than the father, putting her in her early 40s.

Ok,

1. I would fight tooth and nail to keep my son.


2. If I lost the case, there is no way I would move 1500 miles away from him.


3. If I had to move, I would maintain phone contact and see him every chance I got.

Present
This now 15 year old talks about his mom being his best friend next to God. That noone understands him like she does except maybe his dad's mom. He actually let his father know this. He calls her just about every weekend (thanks to free long distance on the cell phone). Since I've known him, I haven't known his mother to call on a consistent or even acceptable frequency level. But maybe that's just me. Maybe my expectations are too high. Anyway, I digress. It really irritates me to no end when I heard this child talk and make constant excuses for his dead-beat mom. She's not working and is living with her grandmother(?). Does he not see something wrong with that scenario. Does he not wonder why he's not living with her? Yes, he's a child. Selfish and simple-minded. He talks to his mother once a week and she's the "good, reasonable" parent, the one who understands him, the best thing since sliced bread. His father fought to keep him, is raising him on his own dime not asking her for anything, and is considered strict and "unfair." I have to bite my tongue when I hear him speak. I say what I want to extol the virtues of his father but I hold back all the things I would love to say about his mother. It's not my place. It wouldn't be right. He wouldn't understand anyway. I only hope that when he grows up he sees and understands.

Random Randomness

K went out and bought a couple of rat traps this evening. He's setting them up right now down in the kitchen. I don't even want to hear it snap but I hope I do cause that means something's caught. Last night K stuffed an old t-shirt in one of the holes we're sure they're coming through. Wouldn't you know they took the whole shirt down the hole!!

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This evening when I came home K and I flew a kite down our dead-end street. You should'a seen us! Two old fools runnings down the road trying to catch a breeze, in the dark, in 50 degree weather!

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I got a call from an old friend today. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw an email in my inbox from him yesterday. I hadn't spoken to him in about three years. We were just friends. He's cool people. Funny thing, him and my husband have basically the same initials - KAP (hubby has a couple more middle names).

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Brotha Buck, I sent you an email last week. Let me know if you got it.

Shawn, I've been trying to comment on your latest Tap post but the browser keeps crashing right at the point the comment dialog comes up. That happens quite often for me when I visit your site. Anyway, I was only going to say, "Wow, that's some serious stuff. If you loved dancing so much you shouldn't have stopped. But you did what you felt you had to to move on. I just don't like to see talents going to waste."

Unwanted Houseguest

No, not a mouse. It couldn't be that trivial at my house. It has to be something bigger. Something more complicated. Something more dangerous. A RAT. There is A RAT living in my house. How do I know? Because hubby saw it in the kitchen this morning! At first we thought there was a mouse getting in and eating our bananas (the first time we noticed this was friday morning). We plugged up what we thought was the hole. But, lo and behold, last night, UPSTAIRS, JUST OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM, by the a/c unit, there were wall shavings on the ground. That rat gnawed at the wood of the closet door and he gnawed the paint off the wall right down to what looks like metal. Needless to say, the exterminator must come today. We only have a three bedroom house and on weekends there are five of us who live there. We don't have room or food enough for anything else.

Lord, have mercy!

There's a reason why I don't like to be in charge - because I don't like working above people. I much prefer to work as a team player alongside my peers. I don't like having to tell people what to do. Why? Because 1) they don't do it right, which could easily be attributed to my not clearly articulating what it is I'm looking for; or 2) they don't do it at all because I don't keep the pressure on. I try, I really do try, to make myself clear. I'm not a woman of many words and I don't believe I should have to coddle an adult. I don't know how to beat around the bush - I either say something or I don't. I can't ease my way to my point. If I call you for a reason I'm getting right to the point and then I'm gone. I have enough relationships to maintain than to make everyone feel like I'm his or her friend. My bluntness doesn't make me good at dealing with dissension in the ranks either. And I don't like having to pull rank. I expect everyone as adults to work together and git 'r done. My logical mind can't handle the emotions and the egos. I just don't have the patience for it. I'd rather just be one of the worker bees and leave everything else to management.

Haven't quite been myself lately. Been crankier than usual. I think I'm gaining weight. Been feeling sick on and off every day for weeks. Can't decide what I feel like eating. I know what you're going to ask. "Are you pregnant?" Could be. I don't know. Haven't checked. I doubt that it's stress. It's got to be Bill. Will keep you posted.

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Reality Check: If you're renting a room in someone's house and you can't afford to pay all your bills you.cannot.afford.to.be.responsible.for.someone.else.

To The Expensive One

I was talking to K about us having another kid. He said that if we did, be it a boy or a girl, we're naming it "Big Bill."

That ain't right!

Fear

What is this word 'fear' that reminds of past experiences long forgotten? What other emotions come up from within you when you let your mind linger on times when you were fearful? Anxiety? Sadness? Nervousness? How did those moments shape you into who you are today?

I took a class a few years ago and the teacher asked, "What is the one thing every person is afraid of?" The answer came: rejection. I can see how that relates to asking someone out, or standing to speak in front of a group of people, but how does that answer fit with the fear of failure. Or even the fear of success? I'm sure most of us have an ambition to be successful (whatever that means to you). For myself, I know I could be good at so many things, and yet I don't actively, passionately pursue any of them. Am I afraid that if I succeed to greater than average heights I will then have to maintain? Or take full responsibility? Maybe my attention span is too short. Hmm. Am I afraid that if I put my best foot forward and fail then maybe I wasn't really as good as I thought I was?

With God all things are possible. We can know ourselves. We can step outside of our boxes. We can let go of the baggage.

This year has started out well for me in many ways. I believe it will only get better.

Just Added

You all have to take a look at my beautiful cousin. She started a blog this weekend. Show her some love, ya'll! She's speaking her thoughts.

Weekend Update

This weekend I left my baby with his grandmother, my husband’s mother. She said that she wished she could quit her job and look after him. She enjoyed him that much. K and I went to Orlando. I wouldn’t call it a getaway. We went to attend a Communication Workshop. No, not for lovers but for church. They covered topics such as writing letters to editors, picture-taking, tips for interviewing people, and there was a track dedicated to sound engineers. It was a very informative weekend. We drove up on Friday and came back Sun morning.

Corresponding with the new family member is going very well. I even got in contact with yet another cousin who is teaching English in Japan. He seemed very excited to hear from me. (For those who missed it, my dead-beat dad has three brothers all of whom have children that I’ve never met, some of which I didn’t even know existed. Recently I’ve been swapping emails with the only female cousin I know of. She put me in touch with a male cousin of ours.) There’s a lot of ground to cover. So much to learn about them. Right now we’re in the phase where we’re trying to learn and share as much as possible. Of course, one day we hope to meet. Maybe we’ll even like each other. lol. It's always nice to meet family. I hope that even at this late stage that we'll develop a strong bond and that we'll be a part of each others' lives from here on out.

I've been sneezing for two days straight. I feel fine but my nose has an almost constant tingle. I hope I don't get sick.

I've been corresponding with my newfound cousin. There is so much to say and ask. I do wonder what her perception is of my mother's ex.

There aren't enough hours in the day. I need to do like B da B and be a woman of leisure!

So many political issues. I'm not touching any of them.

Princess, are you supposed to send me some info about a writer's group?

Inspired by the Princess yet again!

The Princess is known for many things, not the least of which is inspiring posts about shoes. I happened upon these beauts recently and had to share.
Anyone have $450 to spare?

Videos, Cervices, and Dead-Beat Dads

What do these three things have in common? Absolutely nothing. I can't even say that I'm a common the common thread cause I don't have a beautiful cervix. :(

K and I run the video system (among other things) at our church. We capture the service to a harddrive and then edit it and create a DVD. The DVDs are generally given to members by request and we 'encourage' them give a donation to the Communication Department. One evening we got a surprise because the powers that be tracked us down and asked us to tape a funeral service the next day. We were still on holiday so we obliged the request. Maybe a week later we got a request from a member to tape a wedding. We are by no means professionals, but in the amateur realm we can hold our own. K is looking into doing this more seriously...and charging for the service.

I went with SP to the dr the other day. (You can read her take here.) I thought it went well. The dr seemed nice enough. I didn't think he was hitting on her when he told her that she had a beautiful cervix. I think he just appreciated it. Me, in the meantime, I wanted to look, but you know SP would have killed me! When I went to work the next day I looked up some pictures and sent them to her telling her that this is what she looks like. Ok, maybe I have cervix envy. K refused to agree to even try to take pix of mine so I could know what it looks like. TMI?

Dead-beat dad? Yes, I have one. My mother raised me almost single-handedly. Fortunately she had my grandmother and my step-grandfather to help her. I never knew him but I've heard that I look like him to some degree, which can be expected. He comes to mind every once in a while when I sometimes wonder if he has other children, or if he settled down to make a family. I wonder if I ever cross his mind like he fleets through mine. It never really bothered me too much on the surface. Other kids talked about their dads and it didn't bother me. My take was, I never knew what I was missing so I didn't and couldn't miss it. Besides, my mother was tough enough for two. My mother has asked me time and again if I don't want to know him. She would tell me it's my right to know him. She said I should demand it from members of his family. What can I say? It never mattered enough. It's not for me to seek him when my grandmother's address hasn't changed from before I was born. His brother, my uncle, has been our family practitioner since I can remember. He has no excuse for not seeking me out. He didn't want to, for whatever reason, so I never wanted to. Granted, I would have loved to have been invited to the "family reunion" a few years ago but maybe my presence would have made things uncomfortable since I'm only a member by blood and not familial interaction. He crossed my mind again recently, not by his own merit, but because my mother got an interesting phone call from a longtime friend of hers who happens to know some members of his family. She said she spoke to his sister-in-law who said her daughter, my cousin, really, really wanted to talk to me. Yet, she never asked for my mother's number. I took it on myself to get my aunt's number to call her myself and ask for my cousin. It was an interesting call. I didn't have any questions for my aunt or uncle. Why would I? They've been in the position to grant me access to their children but they didn't. Now they say it's a shame that all these years have passed. WTH? They asked how I am and said it's nice to hear from me. They asked about my son and they wanted to know what I do for a living. Umm, do you really care or are you nosey or are you making small talk? All I wanted was to talk to my newfound 26 year old cousin. (She doesn't live at home so they said they would pass on my phone number.) I could have made a better effort over the years to be a part of my father's family. But why? This is certainly not a discredit to my unknown cousins, because I'm sure my life would have been more full had I known them. On the same token, my life was completely full without my father's family involved. My new cousin may read this and if she does I hope she doesn't get offended. This is just me talking.

And I thought I didn't have anything to blog about!

MIA

Haven't had much to blog about lately. Been too busy preparing for my review at work and for my Girls' Nite Out that I hosted last night. I won't even bother to tell you how the review went more than to say it was the same-old same-old. Usual management speak where they encourage you to keep improving, etc. The Girls' Nite Out was fun. We soaked our feet and ooh'd and ahh'd with the sprays and the lotions. I bought some snacks for the guests and among them (the snacks, that is) were a bag of lima tortilla chips. . Hubby said they were too overpowering, but I really like them. Oh well, more for me. Oh yeah, you should see the first floor of my house now! SP came over to help me prepare for the event and we turned the place around. We cleared everything out! I don't know where anything is, but it looks so much better! :)

What am I going to do? Replies

Chele - heh heh, a stripper, that's funny. Hubby claims he's never had an interest in them.

Stunner - Red light special, huh? Yeah, I'm sure he would absolute LOVE that!

SP - Those rims! LOL

NYABG - His favorite dessert? What about my favoritest dessert in the whole wide world - creme brulee??

B da B - You're funny. Sometimes too funny for your own good!

Well, I got a few good ideas from those suggestions. Of course, I can't kiss and tell so you all may never know, but the important thing is that K takes what he gets and likes it!

Today is Hubby's Birthday. What am I going to do??

Proof of these too big rims!

View 2 of 28" rims

View 1 of 28" rims

So Considerate

I had a tuna sandwich for lunch yesterday. I liked it so I thought I'd make another today. Well, my wonderful family left me ONE slice of bread. I brought both it and tuna to work. I don't know what I was thinking with only ONE slice of bread but I eventually figured I could go the grocery store during lunch and buy a loaf. Lucky for me one of my co-workers happened to have a loaf of bread in the company kitchen. She felt so sorry for me when I told her what happened and how that last slice was the back.

Speaking of co-workers, a few of them went to an Asian restaurant for lunch today. They so graciously returned with fortune cookies for those of us who didn't go. Mine read, "Forget all that wishful thinking and be practical." Have you ever heard of such a discouraging fortune?? lol

It was beautiful weather here this past Monday. Perfect weather for going for a walk, or a ride, or playing in the park. I had the day off work and K wanted to show me the colors on a particular building on the beach. Colors that maybe we could use to paint the exterior of our own house. As it turned out the colors were not quite as he remembered them to be. Go figure. As we headed towards Sid's school, driving down the middle of three lanes, we came upon a crumpled figure. The man was lying there, literally in the middle of the road. He couldn't move. He was barely breathing. At least five people had already gotten out of there cars and all were on their cell phones. Further down the same lane, maybe fifteen feet away, was an almost unrecognizable bicycle. I knew I couldn't help. Authorities had already been called many times over. We maneuvered slowly into the right lane to go around the scene. He was probably in 40's. One man, the one I believed hit him, was shaking as he tried to tell the 911 operator the condition of the man. He went over and I heard him say that the man looked like he was having trouble breathing. There was a river of blood leading away from the pool by his head. We kept driving. The news soon reported that the area we had just left was blocked due to a fatality.

I think about that man. How he was lying there. Dying alone. Couldn't I have at least stopped and held his hand?

Obviously I haven't posted in a while. (Bad ShellyP.) But I have been reading and commenting. So I haven't gone awol.

Everybody's talking about resolutions, goals, intentions, etc. Two of my goals are to (1) write a book; (2) purchase a Total Gym (or something similar); and (3) be more social. I think they're attainable. (Shawn, should I publicly add "take a voiceover class?")

Question for ya'll: Why is the men's shoe section of the department store so much more comfortable and cushy??

HNY

Out with old, in with the new.

Hope this new year will be better than the last one for you!

Signed,
Me and Sid

My personal paparazzi took this pic

Guess who that would be (consider the perspective).

Smart kid, complete lack of judgement!

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Ended up spending all.day.long yesterday at a funeral. Hubby and I had to videotape the service for the family. We got there at 10 cause that's when we were told it would start. Didn't find out til 11:15(!) that it wasn't starting til noon. So, I could have slept in. I could have eaten breakfast. And to top it off, it didn't end til 3:00 pm. By the time we got home we were ready for a nap. That was it. My day was shot. I didn't wake up til 7 something. Anyway, today was better. Went to the mall not looking for anything in particular. Heard from B da B. He's getting used to the idea of not having to show up for work anymore. (Of course, the only down side is not being able to spend 6 hrs a day with me.)

I gotta learn the tricks of Effective Guilting

I don't know how parents do it. How do they manage to manipulate your time?? I made the mistake and let it slip that I'm taking off work this week. This was supposed to be my time, time for me to whatever I want to do. Not so, says mother dearest. She conned me into driving her all over Miami looking at bedroom furniture. We left the house just after 11 am and didn't get back until 6 pm. AND, she's talking about us all driving to Jacksonville...this week. Tomorrow is Wednesday already. I don't know if we're going to go. I don't think I want to. I want to sleep in and cruise the malls, hang with hubby, work on our website. I don't know how she got me today. Oh yeah, she offered to buy us lunch.

The Day After

No post-Christmas shopping for me. I would have loved to take advantage of the markdowns (me being the frugal person that I am), but alas, I only left the house to pick up some food. Ben and SP came over. We took lots of pix, especially of the kids. Oh, how they played and fought and screamed and made a mess. It was cool. They are all such cool kids. I'll post pix if I'm permitted.

What did YOU do on Dec 25th?

Well, first of all I slept in until after 11 pm. I'm not the night owl I used to be. Not much happened during the day. We only had one kid at home. He unwrapped a gift I thought was his that one of his aunts bought him. Poor thing. When he opened it I found two size 6 dresses in a box. I told him sorry bud, but the dresses weren't for him. He started to cry and said his Auntie Audrey gave him the dresses. lol.

In the evening we drove to Hollywood (FL, of course) for dinner. We got there right at the tail end. (Ben, don't say anything. We didn't know about the dinner in advance.) At least there was still some ackee & saltfish, jerk chicken, and curry goat left. After I ate an eleventh-grader taught me how to play chess. (Yes! I finally learned!)

We were back home by 8 pm. The two neighbors to the east of us decided to get together to cook and have people over and they invited us. My immediate neighbor, J, is a professional chef. The next neighbor over, D, is a lawyer. So, the chef was grilling and the lawyer hired a DJ. That's when I realized it wasn't just going to be a cul-de-sac party. Sid was out there hanging like a champ with the big boys. Hubby and I spent most of the time shooting the breeze with our immediate neighbor's fiance in her garage. The weather was cool, the company was nice. Cars started to show up. By midnight, Sid was ready for sleep but he fought us to the end. He didn't want to leave. Hubby wasn't looking too good either. We walked home and sent them both to bed. I went back to the party. I love to watch people so that's exactly what I did. The only problem with a big open space (backyard) and not enough people, is that the people just hang around the outskirts of the area. I found it quite amusing as I looked around. Every once in a while, from behind the piece of fence left standing after the hurricane, I saw an arm shoot into the air with a lighter. Behind me, in a dark corner were a few guys doing some sort of dancing. In the house some people were talking. There was only one guy who was really there to dance. As my conversation partners drank you can imagine we didn't have much to talk about anymore. I thought to myself, "What am I doing here?" and I laughed to myself. As I told everyone goodnight one girl said I was a partypooper. My intention was to go home, open a window and dance with my husband, so as I left I told her, "My party ain't over."

Food & Fun

B da B and his wife took me and hubby and SP out for dinner. It was a nice treat. We deliberated over where to go but on Christmas Eve the options were limited. So, as I suspected, we ended up at Longhorn Steakhouse. The food was alright. I wasn't as hungry as I would have liked but the outting wasn't about the food anyway, it was about the company. We agreed to meet at 7:00 pm (I skidded in at 6:59 pm). We got a corner table where our server, Blake, tended to us. A few tables over Miami Dolphins star Chris Chambers was chowing down (I am such a wannabe). Anyway, we ordered virgin drinks and appetizers. We talked and laughed as usual. We really enjoy each others' company. SP was unusually quiet. I chalked it up to her long day at the Dolphins game. Hubby and B da B's wife got to talking about the good old days back in Jamaica. They reminisced for hours. Their stories were hilarious. Lack of electricity, beatings at school, sharing cramped quarters were some of the topics. Longhorn closed early (9:00 pm) but we stood outside for two more hours just talking and laughing. I would have stayed there longer but by 11 my calves were really starting to ache. I was the only one wearing heels (hubby and I had come straight from church). When we left I called my mother and found that Sid was still awake and he wanted to go home. So we went and got him. He was asleep before we reached our house.

I can't wait for Monday when Ben brings his kids over. I'll have my camera ready to capture as many moments as I can. I won't cry. We're not being separated by death but merely distance. I can drive to Jax and make myself at home anytime. Plus, I KNOW they'll be getting a webcam.

If feels SO good to not have to go to work! (Am I a broken record on this topic?) Ok, let's 'talk' about something else. It's been pretty cold here lately, like in the 50s (Sunny knows what I'm talking about) but today looks nice. I know my mother will be calling me soon to go bedroom-set shopping with her. I really love the hustle and bustle at the malls during the holiday season. (Granted, I could do without that exceedingly long checkout lines.) I'm a nosey people-watcher so this is the perfect time for me to get out get to watching. Btw, Macy's has THE BEST sales at this time of year. Even the designer labels (like Movado and Coach which never go on sale throughout the year) are on sale now. One year I tried to convince my husband that a $2100 Movado watch on sale for $1300 was a good deal. He didn't buy it (figuratively or literally).

Anyway, enjoy the season in every way you can. I'll be stuffing my face starting tomorrow!

PS Sunny, if you're out there cooking, I sure I'm not too far from you! :) SP, you know the same goes for you. Stunner, I'm sorry you have to work. Take some conoslation in the fact that at least you're in JA where the real food is.

PS2 Happy Belated Birthday, Princess!

Secret Santa or White Elephant?

I've never heard of White Elephant. We call our gag gift exchange Secret Santa. I don't remember who started it or when, we just accepted it. This year's exchange was quite tame. Nine times out of ten my co-workers don't know what to get me. I've gotten chocolate, a vase, and this year some tea light lanterns. I, on the other hand, never give a 'nice' gift (I'm responsible for the phonics cards that BenTheBald got one year, for example). This year I pulled BenTheBald's name again but since he's leaving us (waa!) most of decided to get him something. He's always talked about being a househusband while his wife works. Well, when he moves he's going in to real estate and his wife will be using her nursing skills. Soo, with collaboration with SP I bought him some flip flops, some sleeveless undershirts, and a pair of Darth Vader Sith boxers. All for him to lounge in while sitting at home watching soap operas and his wife is out working. :) It was a long day - I was exhausted way before it was time to leave. I left early and spent the next few hours talking to Ben. What a guy. What a bud.

I practiced my own version of catharsis as Pro suggested - I left my sister alone for a while. Needless to say, she called me today with some more drama. I do declare that she should be the one with the blog. I felt sorry for her when she told me about she has to pay a lawyer to plead her case in court against an ex of hers. Long story short: she was a sucker for a mack who did what he does best which is use women to take care of his business. He refuses to pay her back for the credit she took out to cover $1800 of dental expenses. If this was the first instance of lack of good judgment then I could wink at her naivete, but it isn't. I hope she's learned this time.

I'm taking next week off plus we get this thursday and friday off. I'm so glad it's Wed night! I don't have to think about work til Jan! Yay!

Secret Santa

I've been having such a hard time finding a gift for my work gift-exchange person. A couple of them read my blog so I can't tell you my ideas, BUT I can tell you about some of the past gifts:

• a blow up sheep for a Canadian contractor


• one busty co-worker got a too small shirt that read "Got Milk?"


• last year I was complaining about the company not recognizing my 5 year anniversary so the "CEO" of the company gave me a gold-plated leather band Disney watch


• Ben gave his kids unusual names at birth so one year he got some Phonics cards to help them learn how to pronounce them


• whip cream in various flavors


• a leapord print thong

It's My Blog and I'll Cry If I Want To

What were you saying, Ben, about having the last word? All I want to know is, what about me? As I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself, even my selfish tears pitied me. Who will I have to smile at when I walk in in the mornings? Who will tell me I look cute? Who will interpret the boss-speak after meetings? What will I do during lunch? I can't swing at the park with just anyone. I won't have anyone to relate to with repsect to being a Christian in a totally non-Christian environment, or being of Caribbean descent, or being black and up-and-coming.

I could write a tribute to black men based on you, your love for your family, your faith, your courage. Your son has a great role-model in you. Your daughter will see in you how she deserves to be treated.

• Remember that time I got on your nerves?


• Remember the many times you got on mine?


• Remember the funny meat at the Black Orchid?


• Remember DS before he had kids?


• Remember Eduardo de San Angel and Cafe Martorano's?


• Remember when people couldn't understand why we always had lunch together?


• Remember when K called and asked you for your pediatrician?


• Slugging.


• Remember the pep talks and the cooling down walks.

I'm happy and excited for you, you know that. At the same time how can anyone understand? I feel like I'm losing my best friend.

I can't smush our friendship into one post, or even two, but I can put my feelings into three words: I love you.

My Friend Is Leaving Me

BenTheBald has done it - he resigned. Today. I'm going to miss him. A lot. I know our friendship won't end with his family moving five hours north. Still. I spend as much time with him as with my husband. We talk every workday. He sits right across from me. We've had our trials. We've had our laughs. I'm glad there were many more of the latter. I've learned a lot about life from him. I've learned a lot about myself from him. I've learned to be patient. I've learned to argue. I've learned that (supposedly) I have to have the last word. Ahh, Ben, what fond memories I'll have of you and of us. I'll be lonely without ya. But hey, at least you got your five year pin! :)

My (younger) sister graduated from college this past Saturday. I believe she now has a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. Good for her. She worked hard for it. My sister and I have never been that close. We are almost eight years apart so you can imagine what it's like when you're a teenager and you're forced to drag along your kid sister. Anyway, we got through that part of our lives fairly well. Things were fine until my mother moved to Florida and allowed me to finish my last year of high school in Toronto. My sister was 8 years old and I was 16. I think that year of us being apart and her being basically thrown into a totally new environment has a lot to do with her present "issues." All she had was my strict mother and no buffer or big sisterly influence. She left her French Immersion elementary school and ended up at a not-so-good elementary school down here where she couldn't even understand her teacher's english (my mother couldn't understand the teacher either). Well, when I finally did move down here whatever we had before was pretty much gone. We certainly grew apart and it hasn't stopped since then. That's not to say we don't make any effort but I've come to the realization that we will probably never be close like good friends. To be good friends you have to understand each other and get along, have things in common, etc. We have none of that so we settle for civil communication. If you want to know extremes, we are they. I'm the introvert, she's the extrovert. I don't need but one friend, she needs every friend including all of mine. I love mathematics and science, she's more creative. We both have our good points and our bad points. I understand and accept and expect that. But yesterday, yesterday I gave her a piece of my mind - and you know it's serious when I use my daytime cell minutes to do it! We didn't see eye to eye on a subject and she felt the need to call me and try to make me feel guilty. I know the real reason she's hurting and I've been trying for years to help her understand those reasons, but she can't seem to get it. Instead she lets it affect her, she allows herself to get into unsafe situations, and to top it off she wrongly directs her aggravation towards me. She made a few statements a couple of weeks ago that I took personally. So yesterday when she called with some foolishness as a continuation of the previous weeks conversation, let's just say I had more than a few words for her to let her know how I felt about the situation.

I worry about her. I worry about when she's going to grow up. She's ambitious and beautiful but sometimes she ain't got no sense. I hate airing laundry which is why I've been purposely vague, but this latest drama has bothered me to no end. I don't expect her to be like me. Of course not. I do expect people to figure out that 1+1=2 when they're taught how to add. Some people pay attention in class while others don't want to be in class, and others still are in class but are mentally out to lunch. Why can't we all just pay attention?

**********************************

I'll try to make my next post less depressing than the last couple have been.

I was scammed awhile back, about two years ago, and I've been paying for it ever since. My husband and I were finally on our feet financially and we were ready to start preparing for the future. We looked towards investing. It's really a long story that still hasn't ended. Just when we think we may have gotten out from under our burdens we realize that we're still just as stuck as before. We bought a few fixer-upper rental properties in a city a few hundred miles away from where we live. A friend of mine did the same as did a close family member. We all ended up losing thousands of dollars. Up until today (well, tomorrow when we officially close), we had these properties that were sucking the life out of us (me and my husband, that is). We had renters from hell every single time. We ended up spending over a thousand dollars to get the various renters out. The eviction process took longer than I would have liked. These people were living in MY house for free for months and months and they acted like we should feel sorry for them while they jepordize MY family's food. They made me so angry. And I was just as angry at the con artist who sold us the properties "under value" when really he had the appraisers and title company in pocket. (The title company has since been shut down.) Anyway, the past six months have been the hardest financially. We were forced to either borrow more money or foreclose on the properties and lose everything we had put into them. Timing so had it that my mother was able to help us. Great. Now I owe HER thousands of dollars for all the months the properties were vacant but the mortgages had to be paid. Today should be a joyous day since we're finally getting rid of the last property but it's not because I have to contemplate selling MY OWN house to get out of the quagmire I've found myself in. There are too many dynamics for me to explain here, but I'm sure you can understand that this is not an easy decision to make. I'm frustrated, I'm angry, and to top it off I'm broke. God is still good because my family is healthy, and we still have it better than lots of other people who don't even have a house to sell in the first place. Still, while I feel sorry for them I'm just as sorry for myself. We have learned a lot in the process, so if you're considering investing in rental property go ahead and ask me. I'll tell you everything we did wrong so you don't do the same. There really are people out there who don't care about using you to boost themselves up. Case in point, said con artist now lives in an exclusive gated community at the expense of me, my family, and my friends. CAVEAT EMPTOR - BUYER BEWARE!

It's Over...for now

Edit: About being Janet - unfortunately, she was not one of the possible results. But funny thing that Brotha Buck mentioned here because when I was a lot younger, people used to tell me that I looked like her when she was younger. Definitely a woman I wouldn't mind being like in so many ways: talented, gorgeous, rich, 6-pack (at least, she used to have one)....

Yeah, you know I was at the dentist this evening. It wasn't pretty but she numbed me up pretty good, so good in fact that my nose was tingling. She said the cavity was pretty deep. Unfortunately this cavity re-fill is only delaying the inevitable, dreaded ROOT CANAL. Mmm, great. What could be more fun and painless than that? Did I mention that I hate going to the dentist?

*****************************************

MYA: Dont be fooled by this innocent-looking
girly, cause inside, there's a tough woman who
knows what she wants. You are a sweet girl who
is down for her friends and will also stand up
for them when needed. Your unique sense of
style shows how much you value your
individuality, only comin' out with clothes
that make you, not define you. Who can't resist
a spicy, yet sweet chica like you? Girl, you've
definitely got it goin on.


Which female R&B artist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I had an interesting morning

This morning I was scheduled to show up at the courthouse and await jury assignment to a trial. I was supposed to be there by 8 am (that's what the summons said, the first notice said 7:45 am). So I had to wake up early, early, early. I'm talking 6:20 am early. Normally I roll out of bed between 7:15 and 7:30. To get up an hour earlier after going to bed at my normal time of midnight is not an easy feat. Well, somehow I managed. Sidney didn't so well. He barely had his eyes open while I brushed his teeth. When I brought him downstairs to make his porridge he just laid himself out on the couch and went back to sleep. I got him to school by 7:30. On the way to the courthouse (a 15 min drive) I watched a man get off his bicycle and start a fight with another man who had walked past him. Further down the road I passed a man doing what I thought was talking to pigeon but turned out he was talking to himself; he was even gesturing. As I neared courthouse I called my husband to talk me through the rest of the way. I didn't want to get lost so he lovingly obliged. Having served on two juries he knew the area well. However things could never be that simple. They switched things up a bit at the garage since he had been there and I all but freaked out trying to figure out what entrance I was supposed to use and how I was expected to get there. LOL. I made it to a parking spot on the fourth floor and as I reached the walkway on the third floor there was the end of juror line. People were lined up the distance of four lanes of traffic waiting to go through security. So, I wasn't late after all. The young lady in line in front of me was "Paris Hilton." She was tall, slim, and had long blond hair. Her accessories were top notch - Dior sunglasses, Dolce & Gabana bag, tennis bracelet, expensive clothing. I noticed that she even had marked off "don't wanna be compensated for my jury time" on her check-in slip (not that I was being nosey or anything). She wasn't talkative though so I found myself merely looking her over from behind and watching employees walk past. I thought to myself that she really is a rich girl, not just a wanna-be. She even walked differently so for laughs I tried to emulate her. I thought it was hilarious. Hopefully noone else noticed! Ok, so I pass through security with a "Zone 6" and I have my ankles(?!) swiped by some guy in a uniform who of course finds nothing. By the time I sat down in the orientation room it was 8:30 am and things were just getting started. The lady told us how things would go and what to expect. After our first break she came back and told us that they had an overage of jurors which meant that some of us would have the option to leave and still be considered as having served. The only catch is that if you opt to leave you have to go to work (if you had a job) cause the court wouldn't back you up if you got fired for skipping. Anyway, a computer supposedly randomly picked juror IDs and mine was the about the fifth ID to be called. I had been talking with the gentleman who sat next to me but when they called my number I jumped up so fast and said "leaving" (we were allowed to say "staying" or "leaving") and everyone nearby laughed. Before I even made it out of the building I was calling hubby to tell him the news. That's it. End of my non-story.

It would have been interesting to actually sit in a courtroom.

When I started out in college I had just moved to South Florida from Toronto. I was 17. Young and naive, I had led a sheltered life. I was always a good girl. Didn't get into trouble, didn't skip classes, never had a boyfriend (not including Gregory the summer before I left). When I moved here I was optimistic, forgiving, tolerant, nice to everyone. My first year was pretty good academically. Socially I had a lot to learn. Since I didn't know anyone, basically whoever was around became my friend. My definition of friend was quite loose back then. If we could have ongoing conversations about nothing I considered the person a friend. My circle of "friends" was huge. I felt good. I was always on my way from one friend to another, from one friend's class to another's dorm or to watch another play basketball. I was busy, I knew a lot of people, everyone was cool with me. Of course, as one would expect, over time my circle began to shrink. I got along better with certain people than with others, and as it turned out, most of the people I drifted to were in the same circle. That's not to say I ignored everyone I used to talk to, we just didn't talk as often. There was no way I could maintain all of the original "friendships." How could I and expect to foster any deep relationships? I learned what true friends are. I learned that there is less value in quantity than in quality.

DROP

DROP just launched last Friday. It's a community for aspiring writers. Yeah, I know I barely wrote two paragraphs for NaNoWriMo but still. lol. Anyway, DROP is trying to increase its membership and actually become a useful site. You can check them out here.

They will be accepting manuscript submissions until Dec 16. One of the submissions will be selected for publication (based on votes and "jury" selection from the top-ranked submissions).

Of course, you can always self-publish at a site like lulu.com.

"Shelly needs" Take II

I decided to play Pro's game for the heck of it. What I found was pretty interesting. Apparently the world of Google says:
* Shelly needs a vacation too!
* Shelly NEEDS to find you
* Shelly needs to hear it and get her washboard goin
* Shelly needs name help too
* Shelly needs a date for her upcoming session
* Shelly needs you
* Shelly needs an avatar
* Shelly needs to get a job
* Shelly needs to try to be interested in someone her own age

Misc

I'm in the phase of my life where young'uns have taken to calling me ma'am. It's strange. I don't feel any older than when I was in college. Yeah, I know, I look older, but not much. :) But then I look at my 15 yr old step-son and I remember how I saw people my age when I was his age. 30 was o.l.d. Yes, I know, I'm 31. Still.

I've been called to jury duty. I have to show up at the courthouse next Monday morning. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. Kind of exciting. I don't want to be assigned to a trial that lasts more a few days though.

I read a blog (can't remember which one) where the author talked about uncluttering her life by first uncluttering her surroundings. That's exactly what I need to do!

Me and The Dentist

I visited the dentist a couple of weeks ago for a standard cleaning. Every single time I go (regardless of the dentist's office) they always tell me what nice teeth I have. Yet, I have this one bad tooth. It's been filled and re-filled and it looks like it's that time to be re-filled again. The dentist looked at it and said she believes it's quite an urgent matter otherwise I may need a root canal. WHAT?! Those were the magic words right there. I hate having work done in my mouth. The thought of pain in my head is scary. Well, I made an appt for Dec. 7 even though my mouth felt fine. Yesterday (YES-TER-DAY) my mouth started to hurt. It still does today. I was laying in bed fretting about it last night imagining all the worlds of hurt she could put me through. Oooh, man! Of me and the dentist, never should the twain meet!

Thanksgiving

Today 17 of the Miami Dolphin players visited my church where they distributed Thanksgiving turkeys and food to the local community. Being the Communication Director for my church you know I had to take time off from work to be there to cover the story! You'll find some pix of the event on my church blog here.

Just Me

The Lily

Looks like I've done it again - I've helped another to find the light of the blogosphere. This time the victim, er, I mean individual, is my cousin. She's a thinker! And she has such a way with words... so unlike myself. lol. Take a gander at her first post (warning: active thinking required).