I thought I was the only one, or that I was just weird, but apparently I'm not alone. I'm 30 years old. I feel like I could still be in college. But I'm a mother and a step-mother and a wife. How could this be? How did I get here? I'm an adult? I have to be responsible for other's lives, I'm not a dependent anymore. Amazing. And what do I have to show for my 30 years of life? Well, definitely gratitude. I thank God for all the blessings he has showered on me (too many to list, believe me). Yes, I have the sweetest little boy in the world. Yes, I have a fine speciman of a husband who loves me. Yes, I have a relatively good-paying job with a good working environment. Yes, I still have my health. Yes, I have a house. What else? Who am I trying to convince anyway? I've already convinced myself that I've accomplished some important things. Of course, there's always room for improvement. There's so much more I want to do. If I could afford to not work what would I do? TRAVEL!! The places and cultures - too much to take in and not enough time. If you're reading this and you're single w/o kids -> TRAVEL. Learn new ways to view the world. You might have a paradigm shift and your whole world could change.
I have a friend who is wandering. I'm not sure what she's looking for. Happiness? A feeling of accomplishment? Wish I could help her but I don't know what to say. She needs the courage and discipline to choose somethings to do and stick to them. If she was living here I would help her - it's difficult when you live 1500 miles apart.
Btw, just finished reading "A Tale of Two Cities." I was supposed to have read it in high school but never did. I mean, I read some of the first book and part of the third book but that was it. Even reading this time around was somewhat difficult. But what amazed me, besides being a beautiful story, was the literary genius. I wish I could evoke the imagination and manipulate the English language the way Dickens does. And speaking of books, I signed up for NaNoBlogMo. The first week will be tough because I will have very limited access to the internet. And while it appears I have no trouble writing, I actually do. I have to make a conscious effort to be creative (unlike my aforementioned friend to whom it comes naturally) and then I don't want it to seem forced. (sigh.)
Sunday, October 17, 2004
First post about "this life." Not much to say, yet too much to say. Have a lot on my plate right now. (Not literally, but almost.) I'm a mother, you've probably noticed. I'm married. I work fulltime. I'm active in my church. I want to rekindle our local NSBE Alumni flame. I have a normal dysfunctional extended family. I would be glad if I could just once sit down and be me without having to juggle all the other hats.