I was reading the news during lunch today and I came across this article: "Mishaps, misunderstandings can be friendship killers." I must admit that I thought of SP and her current "friendship" as I read it. A couple of things stood out....
B. J. Gallagher, author of the book "Friends Are Everything" said, "We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by actions. We have a double standard: We let ourselves off the hook when we feel innocent, but if somebody else does the same thing, we don't give them credit for the same good intentions."
How true is that?? I couldn't have said it better myself.
This is often the root of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, Gallagher said.
I know a lot of people won't agree with this other statement of hers though....
You should still apologize for something that appeared wrong even if your intentions were innocent. "You can still apologize for the impact of your bahavior" even if you're not sorry for the behavior itself (emphasis added by me).
I've heard many a person say, "I don't have to apologize. I didn't do anything wrong." So? It goes back to self-centeredness and not being willing or able to look at yourself objectively instead of subjectively.
We all have to live on earth together. Why not make your corner of the world a pleasant place to be?
4 comments:
It's not always easy to let someone else off the hook because they said they had good intentions. They could be lying. Forgive me, I have trust issues. Anyway, I remember once I did something horrible to someone and even though I thought I was completely justified I did go back and apologize.
Tania (my sis) had that happen to her. Someone made a comment, that they intended to be good - but she was offended by it. They told her she couldn't be offended, because that's not what they intended. They didn't get that it still hurt, regardless of how they meant it.
As the bible says some people tee the stray in onother persons eye, but can't see the bean in their eyes...or something to that effect, don't want to mislead anyone. It seems it's easier to identify the faults of others than our own. And it takes a person with character to apologize when they know they are wrong.
All I can say is saying sorry is often the hardest and most awkward thing in life to do.
I tend not to take people too serious when they apologize. "Sorry" never adequately makes up for the hurt the offensive act caused. I think I prefer hearing people say they were wrong. That makes me feel like people the offense won't happen again
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