My personal paparazzi took this pic

Guess who that would be (consider the perspective).

Smart kid, complete lack of judgement!

************************************

Ended up spending all.day.long yesterday at a funeral. Hubby and I had to videotape the service for the family. We got there at 10 cause that's when we were told it would start. Didn't find out til 11:15(!) that it wasn't starting til noon. So, I could have slept in. I could have eaten breakfast. And to top it off, it didn't end til 3:00 pm. By the time we got home we were ready for a nap. That was it. My day was shot. I didn't wake up til 7 something. Anyway, today was better. Went to the mall not looking for anything in particular. Heard from B da B. He's getting used to the idea of not having to show up for work anymore. (Of course, the only down side is not being able to spend 6 hrs a day with me.)

I gotta learn the tricks of Effective Guilting

I don't know how parents do it. How do they manage to manipulate your time?? I made the mistake and let it slip that I'm taking off work this week. This was supposed to be my time, time for me to whatever I want to do. Not so, says mother dearest. She conned me into driving her all over Miami looking at bedroom furniture. We left the house just after 11 am and didn't get back until 6 pm. AND, she's talking about us all driving to Jacksonville...this week. Tomorrow is Wednesday already. I don't know if we're going to go. I don't think I want to. I want to sleep in and cruise the malls, hang with hubby, work on our website. I don't know how she got me today. Oh yeah, she offered to buy us lunch.

The Day After

No post-Christmas shopping for me. I would have loved to take advantage of the markdowns (me being the frugal person that I am), but alas, I only left the house to pick up some food. Ben and SP came over. We took lots of pix, especially of the kids. Oh, how they played and fought and screamed and made a mess. It was cool. They are all such cool kids. I'll post pix if I'm permitted.

What did YOU do on Dec 25th?

Well, first of all I slept in until after 11 pm. I'm not the night owl I used to be. Not much happened during the day. We only had one kid at home. He unwrapped a gift I thought was his that one of his aunts bought him. Poor thing. When he opened it I found two size 6 dresses in a box. I told him sorry bud, but the dresses weren't for him. He started to cry and said his Auntie Audrey gave him the dresses. lol.

In the evening we drove to Hollywood (FL, of course) for dinner. We got there right at the tail end. (Ben, don't say anything. We didn't know about the dinner in advance.) At least there was still some ackee & saltfish, jerk chicken, and curry goat left. After I ate an eleventh-grader taught me how to play chess. (Yes! I finally learned!)

We were back home by 8 pm. The two neighbors to the east of us decided to get together to cook and have people over and they invited us. My immediate neighbor, J, is a professional chef. The next neighbor over, D, is a lawyer. So, the chef was grilling and the lawyer hired a DJ. That's when I realized it wasn't just going to be a cul-de-sac party. Sid was out there hanging like a champ with the big boys. Hubby and I spent most of the time shooting the breeze with our immediate neighbor's fiance in her garage. The weather was cool, the company was nice. Cars started to show up. By midnight, Sid was ready for sleep but he fought us to the end. He didn't want to leave. Hubby wasn't looking too good either. We walked home and sent them both to bed. I went back to the party. I love to watch people so that's exactly what I did. The only problem with a big open space (backyard) and not enough people, is that the people just hang around the outskirts of the area. I found it quite amusing as I looked around. Every once in a while, from behind the piece of fence left standing after the hurricane, I saw an arm shoot into the air with a lighter. Behind me, in a dark corner were a few guys doing some sort of dancing. In the house some people were talking. There was only one guy who was really there to dance. As my conversation partners drank you can imagine we didn't have much to talk about anymore. I thought to myself, "What am I doing here?" and I laughed to myself. As I told everyone goodnight one girl said I was a partypooper. My intention was to go home, open a window and dance with my husband, so as I left I told her, "My party ain't over."

Food & Fun

B da B and his wife took me and hubby and SP out for dinner. It was a nice treat. We deliberated over where to go but on Christmas Eve the options were limited. So, as I suspected, we ended up at Longhorn Steakhouse. The food was alright. I wasn't as hungry as I would have liked but the outting wasn't about the food anyway, it was about the company. We agreed to meet at 7:00 pm (I skidded in at 6:59 pm). We got a corner table where our server, Blake, tended to us. A few tables over Miami Dolphins star Chris Chambers was chowing down (I am such a wannabe). Anyway, we ordered virgin drinks and appetizers. We talked and laughed as usual. We really enjoy each others' company. SP was unusually quiet. I chalked it up to her long day at the Dolphins game. Hubby and B da B's wife got to talking about the good old days back in Jamaica. They reminisced for hours. Their stories were hilarious. Lack of electricity, beatings at school, sharing cramped quarters were some of the topics. Longhorn closed early (9:00 pm) but we stood outside for two more hours just talking and laughing. I would have stayed there longer but by 11 my calves were really starting to ache. I was the only one wearing heels (hubby and I had come straight from church). When we left I called my mother and found that Sid was still awake and he wanted to go home. So we went and got him. He was asleep before we reached our house.

I can't wait for Monday when Ben brings his kids over. I'll have my camera ready to capture as many moments as I can. I won't cry. We're not being separated by death but merely distance. I can drive to Jax and make myself at home anytime. Plus, I KNOW they'll be getting a webcam.

If feels SO good to not have to go to work! (Am I a broken record on this topic?) Ok, let's 'talk' about something else. It's been pretty cold here lately, like in the 50s (Sunny knows what I'm talking about) but today looks nice. I know my mother will be calling me soon to go bedroom-set shopping with her. I really love the hustle and bustle at the malls during the holiday season. (Granted, I could do without that exceedingly long checkout lines.) I'm a nosey people-watcher so this is the perfect time for me to get out get to watching. Btw, Macy's has THE BEST sales at this time of year. Even the designer labels (like Movado and Coach which never go on sale throughout the year) are on sale now. One year I tried to convince my husband that a $2100 Movado watch on sale for $1300 was a good deal. He didn't buy it (figuratively or literally).

Anyway, enjoy the season in every way you can. I'll be stuffing my face starting tomorrow!

PS Sunny, if you're out there cooking, I sure I'm not too far from you! :) SP, you know the same goes for you. Stunner, I'm sorry you have to work. Take some conoslation in the fact that at least you're in JA where the real food is.

PS2 Happy Belated Birthday, Princess!

Secret Santa or White Elephant?

I've never heard of White Elephant. We call our gag gift exchange Secret Santa. I don't remember who started it or when, we just accepted it. This year's exchange was quite tame. Nine times out of ten my co-workers don't know what to get me. I've gotten chocolate, a vase, and this year some tea light lanterns. I, on the other hand, never give a 'nice' gift (I'm responsible for the phonics cards that BenTheBald got one year, for example). This year I pulled BenTheBald's name again but since he's leaving us (waa!) most of decided to get him something. He's always talked about being a househusband while his wife works. Well, when he moves he's going in to real estate and his wife will be using her nursing skills. Soo, with collaboration with SP I bought him some flip flops, some sleeveless undershirts, and a pair of Darth Vader Sith boxers. All for him to lounge in while sitting at home watching soap operas and his wife is out working. :) It was a long day - I was exhausted way before it was time to leave. I left early and spent the next few hours talking to Ben. What a guy. What a bud.

I practiced my own version of catharsis as Pro suggested - I left my sister alone for a while. Needless to say, she called me today with some more drama. I do declare that she should be the one with the blog. I felt sorry for her when she told me about she has to pay a lawyer to plead her case in court against an ex of hers. Long story short: she was a sucker for a mack who did what he does best which is use women to take care of his business. He refuses to pay her back for the credit she took out to cover $1800 of dental expenses. If this was the first instance of lack of good judgment then I could wink at her naivete, but it isn't. I hope she's learned this time.

I'm taking next week off plus we get this thursday and friday off. I'm so glad it's Wed night! I don't have to think about work til Jan! Yay!

Secret Santa

I've been having such a hard time finding a gift for my work gift-exchange person. A couple of them read my blog so I can't tell you my ideas, BUT I can tell you about some of the past gifts:

• a blow up sheep for a Canadian contractor


• one busty co-worker got a too small shirt that read "Got Milk?"


• last year I was complaining about the company not recognizing my 5 year anniversary so the "CEO" of the company gave me a gold-plated leather band Disney watch


• Ben gave his kids unusual names at birth so one year he got some Phonics cards to help them learn how to pronounce them


• whip cream in various flavors


• a leapord print thong

It's My Blog and I'll Cry If I Want To

What were you saying, Ben, about having the last word? All I want to know is, what about me? As I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself, even my selfish tears pitied me. Who will I have to smile at when I walk in in the mornings? Who will tell me I look cute? Who will interpret the boss-speak after meetings? What will I do during lunch? I can't swing at the park with just anyone. I won't have anyone to relate to with repsect to being a Christian in a totally non-Christian environment, or being of Caribbean descent, or being black and up-and-coming.

I could write a tribute to black men based on you, your love for your family, your faith, your courage. Your son has a great role-model in you. Your daughter will see in you how she deserves to be treated.

• Remember that time I got on your nerves?


• Remember the many times you got on mine?


• Remember the funny meat at the Black Orchid?


• Remember DS before he had kids?


• Remember Eduardo de San Angel and Cafe Martorano's?


• Remember when people couldn't understand why we always had lunch together?


• Remember when K called and asked you for your pediatrician?


• Slugging.


• Remember the pep talks and the cooling down walks.

I'm happy and excited for you, you know that. At the same time how can anyone understand? I feel like I'm losing my best friend.

I can't smush our friendship into one post, or even two, but I can put my feelings into three words: I love you.

My Friend Is Leaving Me

BenTheBald has done it - he resigned. Today. I'm going to miss him. A lot. I know our friendship won't end with his family moving five hours north. Still. I spend as much time with him as with my husband. We talk every workday. He sits right across from me. We've had our trials. We've had our laughs. I'm glad there were many more of the latter. I've learned a lot about life from him. I've learned a lot about myself from him. I've learned to be patient. I've learned to argue. I've learned that (supposedly) I have to have the last word. Ahh, Ben, what fond memories I'll have of you and of us. I'll be lonely without ya. But hey, at least you got your five year pin! :)

My (younger) sister graduated from college this past Saturday. I believe she now has a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology. Good for her. She worked hard for it. My sister and I have never been that close. We are almost eight years apart so you can imagine what it's like when you're a teenager and you're forced to drag along your kid sister. Anyway, we got through that part of our lives fairly well. Things were fine until my mother moved to Florida and allowed me to finish my last year of high school in Toronto. My sister was 8 years old and I was 16. I think that year of us being apart and her being basically thrown into a totally new environment has a lot to do with her present "issues." All she had was my strict mother and no buffer or big sisterly influence. She left her French Immersion elementary school and ended up at a not-so-good elementary school down here where she couldn't even understand her teacher's english (my mother couldn't understand the teacher either). Well, when I finally did move down here whatever we had before was pretty much gone. We certainly grew apart and it hasn't stopped since then. That's not to say we don't make any effort but I've come to the realization that we will probably never be close like good friends. To be good friends you have to understand each other and get along, have things in common, etc. We have none of that so we settle for civil communication. If you want to know extremes, we are they. I'm the introvert, she's the extrovert. I don't need but one friend, she needs every friend including all of mine. I love mathematics and science, she's more creative. We both have our good points and our bad points. I understand and accept and expect that. But yesterday, yesterday I gave her a piece of my mind - and you know it's serious when I use my daytime cell minutes to do it! We didn't see eye to eye on a subject and she felt the need to call me and try to make me feel guilty. I know the real reason she's hurting and I've been trying for years to help her understand those reasons, but she can't seem to get it. Instead she lets it affect her, she allows herself to get into unsafe situations, and to top it off she wrongly directs her aggravation towards me. She made a few statements a couple of weeks ago that I took personally. So yesterday when she called with some foolishness as a continuation of the previous weeks conversation, let's just say I had more than a few words for her to let her know how I felt about the situation.

I worry about her. I worry about when she's going to grow up. She's ambitious and beautiful but sometimes she ain't got no sense. I hate airing laundry which is why I've been purposely vague, but this latest drama has bothered me to no end. I don't expect her to be like me. Of course not. I do expect people to figure out that 1+1=2 when they're taught how to add. Some people pay attention in class while others don't want to be in class, and others still are in class but are mentally out to lunch. Why can't we all just pay attention?

**********************************

I'll try to make my next post less depressing than the last couple have been.

I was scammed awhile back, about two years ago, and I've been paying for it ever since. My husband and I were finally on our feet financially and we were ready to start preparing for the future. We looked towards investing. It's really a long story that still hasn't ended. Just when we think we may have gotten out from under our burdens we realize that we're still just as stuck as before. We bought a few fixer-upper rental properties in a city a few hundred miles away from where we live. A friend of mine did the same as did a close family member. We all ended up losing thousands of dollars. Up until today (well, tomorrow when we officially close), we had these properties that were sucking the life out of us (me and my husband, that is). We had renters from hell every single time. We ended up spending over a thousand dollars to get the various renters out. The eviction process took longer than I would have liked. These people were living in MY house for free for months and months and they acted like we should feel sorry for them while they jepordize MY family's food. They made me so angry. And I was just as angry at the con artist who sold us the properties "under value" when really he had the appraisers and title company in pocket. (The title company has since been shut down.) Anyway, the past six months have been the hardest financially. We were forced to either borrow more money or foreclose on the properties and lose everything we had put into them. Timing so had it that my mother was able to help us. Great. Now I owe HER thousands of dollars for all the months the properties were vacant but the mortgages had to be paid. Today should be a joyous day since we're finally getting rid of the last property but it's not because I have to contemplate selling MY OWN house to get out of the quagmire I've found myself in. There are too many dynamics for me to explain here, but I'm sure you can understand that this is not an easy decision to make. I'm frustrated, I'm angry, and to top it off I'm broke. God is still good because my family is healthy, and we still have it better than lots of other people who don't even have a house to sell in the first place. Still, while I feel sorry for them I'm just as sorry for myself. We have learned a lot in the process, so if you're considering investing in rental property go ahead and ask me. I'll tell you everything we did wrong so you don't do the same. There really are people out there who don't care about using you to boost themselves up. Case in point, said con artist now lives in an exclusive gated community at the expense of me, my family, and my friends. CAVEAT EMPTOR - BUYER BEWARE!

It's Over...for now

Edit: About being Janet - unfortunately, she was not one of the possible results. But funny thing that Brotha Buck mentioned here because when I was a lot younger, people used to tell me that I looked like her when she was younger. Definitely a woman I wouldn't mind being like in so many ways: talented, gorgeous, rich, 6-pack (at least, she used to have one)....

Yeah, you know I was at the dentist this evening. It wasn't pretty but she numbed me up pretty good, so good in fact that my nose was tingling. She said the cavity was pretty deep. Unfortunately this cavity re-fill is only delaying the inevitable, dreaded ROOT CANAL. Mmm, great. What could be more fun and painless than that? Did I mention that I hate going to the dentist?

*****************************************

MYA: Dont be fooled by this innocent-looking
girly, cause inside, there's a tough woman who
knows what she wants. You are a sweet girl who
is down for her friends and will also stand up
for them when needed. Your unique sense of
style shows how much you value your
individuality, only comin' out with clothes
that make you, not define you. Who can't resist
a spicy, yet sweet chica like you? Girl, you've
definitely got it goin on.


Which female R&B artist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I had an interesting morning

This morning I was scheduled to show up at the courthouse and await jury assignment to a trial. I was supposed to be there by 8 am (that's what the summons said, the first notice said 7:45 am). So I had to wake up early, early, early. I'm talking 6:20 am early. Normally I roll out of bed between 7:15 and 7:30. To get up an hour earlier after going to bed at my normal time of midnight is not an easy feat. Well, somehow I managed. Sidney didn't so well. He barely had his eyes open while I brushed his teeth. When I brought him downstairs to make his porridge he just laid himself out on the couch and went back to sleep. I got him to school by 7:30. On the way to the courthouse (a 15 min drive) I watched a man get off his bicycle and start a fight with another man who had walked past him. Further down the road I passed a man doing what I thought was talking to pigeon but turned out he was talking to himself; he was even gesturing. As I neared courthouse I called my husband to talk me through the rest of the way. I didn't want to get lost so he lovingly obliged. Having served on two juries he knew the area well. However things could never be that simple. They switched things up a bit at the garage since he had been there and I all but freaked out trying to figure out what entrance I was supposed to use and how I was expected to get there. LOL. I made it to a parking spot on the fourth floor and as I reached the walkway on the third floor there was the end of juror line. People were lined up the distance of four lanes of traffic waiting to go through security. So, I wasn't late after all. The young lady in line in front of me was "Paris Hilton." She was tall, slim, and had long blond hair. Her accessories were top notch - Dior sunglasses, Dolce & Gabana bag, tennis bracelet, expensive clothing. I noticed that she even had marked off "don't wanna be compensated for my jury time" on her check-in slip (not that I was being nosey or anything). She wasn't talkative though so I found myself merely looking her over from behind and watching employees walk past. I thought to myself that she really is a rich girl, not just a wanna-be. She even walked differently so for laughs I tried to emulate her. I thought it was hilarious. Hopefully noone else noticed! Ok, so I pass through security with a "Zone 6" and I have my ankles(?!) swiped by some guy in a uniform who of course finds nothing. By the time I sat down in the orientation room it was 8:30 am and things were just getting started. The lady told us how things would go and what to expect. After our first break she came back and told us that they had an overage of jurors which meant that some of us would have the option to leave and still be considered as having served. The only catch is that if you opt to leave you have to go to work (if you had a job) cause the court wouldn't back you up if you got fired for skipping. Anyway, a computer supposedly randomly picked juror IDs and mine was the about the fifth ID to be called. I had been talking with the gentleman who sat next to me but when they called my number I jumped up so fast and said "leaving" (we were allowed to say "staying" or "leaving") and everyone nearby laughed. Before I even made it out of the building I was calling hubby to tell him the news. That's it. End of my non-story.

It would have been interesting to actually sit in a courtroom.

When I started out in college I had just moved to South Florida from Toronto. I was 17. Young and naive, I had led a sheltered life. I was always a good girl. Didn't get into trouble, didn't skip classes, never had a boyfriend (not including Gregory the summer before I left). When I moved here I was optimistic, forgiving, tolerant, nice to everyone. My first year was pretty good academically. Socially I had a lot to learn. Since I didn't know anyone, basically whoever was around became my friend. My definition of friend was quite loose back then. If we could have ongoing conversations about nothing I considered the person a friend. My circle of "friends" was huge. I felt good. I was always on my way from one friend to another, from one friend's class to another's dorm or to watch another play basketball. I was busy, I knew a lot of people, everyone was cool with me. Of course, as one would expect, over time my circle began to shrink. I got along better with certain people than with others, and as it turned out, most of the people I drifted to were in the same circle. That's not to say I ignored everyone I used to talk to, we just didn't talk as often. There was no way I could maintain all of the original "friendships." How could I and expect to foster any deep relationships? I learned what true friends are. I learned that there is less value in quantity than in quality.

DROP

DROP just launched last Friday. It's a community for aspiring writers. Yeah, I know I barely wrote two paragraphs for NaNoWriMo but still. lol. Anyway, DROP is trying to increase its membership and actually become a useful site. You can check them out here.

They will be accepting manuscript submissions until Dec 16. One of the submissions will be selected for publication (based on votes and "jury" selection from the top-ranked submissions).

Of course, you can always self-publish at a site like lulu.com.

"Shelly needs" Take II

I decided to play Pro's game for the heck of it. What I found was pretty interesting. Apparently the world of Google says:
* Shelly needs a vacation too!
* Shelly NEEDS to find you
* Shelly needs to hear it and get her washboard goin
* Shelly needs name help too
* Shelly needs a date for her upcoming session
* Shelly needs you
* Shelly needs an avatar
* Shelly needs to get a job
* Shelly needs to try to be interested in someone her own age

Misc

I'm in the phase of my life where young'uns have taken to calling me ma'am. It's strange. I don't feel any older than when I was in college. Yeah, I know, I look older, but not much. :) But then I look at my 15 yr old step-son and I remember how I saw people my age when I was his age. 30 was o.l.d. Yes, I know, I'm 31. Still.

I've been called to jury duty. I have to show up at the courthouse next Monday morning. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. Kind of exciting. I don't want to be assigned to a trial that lasts more a few days though.

I read a blog (can't remember which one) where the author talked about uncluttering her life by first uncluttering her surroundings. That's exactly what I need to do!

Me and The Dentist

I visited the dentist a couple of weeks ago for a standard cleaning. Every single time I go (regardless of the dentist's office) they always tell me what nice teeth I have. Yet, I have this one bad tooth. It's been filled and re-filled and it looks like it's that time to be re-filled again. The dentist looked at it and said she believes it's quite an urgent matter otherwise I may need a root canal. WHAT?! Those were the magic words right there. I hate having work done in my mouth. The thought of pain in my head is scary. Well, I made an appt for Dec. 7 even though my mouth felt fine. Yesterday (YES-TER-DAY) my mouth started to hurt. It still does today. I was laying in bed fretting about it last night imagining all the worlds of hurt she could put me through. Oooh, man! Of me and the dentist, never should the twain meet!

Thanksgiving

Today 17 of the Miami Dolphin players visited my church where they distributed Thanksgiving turkeys and food to the local community. Being the Communication Director for my church you know I had to take time off from work to be there to cover the story! You'll find some pix of the event on my church blog here.

Just Me

The Lily

Looks like I've done it again - I've helped another to find the light of the blogosphere. This time the victim, er, I mean individual, is my cousin. She's a thinker! And she has such a way with words... so unlike myself. lol. Take a gander at her first post (warning: active thinking required).

Me and My Baby

You've seen how it looks on the model. This, of course, is me.

Random

Things I NEED:
1. A jump rope (the most feasible!)
2. A total gym (or something like it)
3. An elliptical machine

Things I NEEDED:
1. A long red dress! My baby bought it for me and had it shipped to my job. Can you believe that?! People were trying to get me to try it on, but I'm not wearing the right shoes and you KNOW how that can make or break an outfit.

Am I not the social butterfly lately? Last week was the housewarming, this week was a marriage re-committment event. The people can't seem to get enough of me. LOL. BUT, I got to wear my new red dress. And you know I was the best dressed up in that place! :) I would post a pic but Hello isn't working for me at the moment.

I like what Neena said about love in one of my previous posts. I think she hit the nail on head!

A Public Thanks

I received my Super G wireless USB adapter yesterday. I was so excited!! As soon as I got home I installed it and wouldn't you know it, my connection speed is beautiful! All thanks to NYABG. She bought me a gift certificate for Amazon.com for my birthday (May 25) and I only recently figured out what I needed (besides a ceramic flat iron).

Thank you!

To Love Or Not To Love

Do you think it's possible to truly fall in love with someone when you are already in love with someone else? What would make this possible (or not). If you find yourself falling for someone else, can it be stopped? How can you prevent yourself from getting in a situation like that?

(Don't get any ideas, I'm just throwing it out there.)

Yesterday...

...was a nice day. A couple from our church has retired and moved to the west coast of Florida, Cape Coral, and they had their house blessing/warming yesterday. I don't get out much but whenever I do that's when I remember how much I enjoy social settings. There was food, fun, and, of course, the football game. It was a two-hr drive but it was well worth it. Oh, in their garage they have an amazing piece of workout equipment. Hubby had fun coaching me on it. Now I want an elliptical machine and a total gym.

...was SP's birthday. She went out for Indian food and I really wanted to go, but that would have been too much activity in one day for this old woman. I did call her though and wish her a happy birthday.

...my husband was aggravated with me, but I made it up to him. :)

...I checked one of my friend's blogs and he moved it, but he won't tell me where! (He better email me!)

...was the day after the end of my church's evangelistic series. It was a blessing. The guest speaker was Pastor Keith Morris, and what a dynamic speaker he is! My husband has been diligently editing and rendering DVDs of the sermons. No more reports on that guy who was giving me the eye. Thanks to everyone who gave me much needed feedback on that situation. You gave me a lot to think about.

A La Sexy

Maybe I'm inherently sexy?? Maybe. Maybe not. Tiff had a good point about possibly taking some of the responsibility for attracting the aforementioned man's attention. I admit, most of the time I dress to impress. I like to know that I look at least decent if not down-right cute. Dressing "sexily" is not me though. I'm well aware that attire is not the only thing to attract the "eye" and I've been thinking about it. Now, I can add the bit of information that the man in question is a fellow church "brother." I see him (and his wife) just about every week. I like to believe that I'm not acting seductively esp while I'm going about the Lord's work. However, I admit, that I could be. So I talked to my husband about it. He doesn't see it either (he thinks I'm worth his eye 99% of the time. hehe). Regardless, I'll have a talk with God about it and I'll take mental notes on myself. (Benthebald, we'll talk about those scriptures you read.)

The Eye

There's a guy I know, an acquaintance, who's been giving it to me lately. The eye, that is, not "it." I started noticing it about a week ago. My immediate instinct was to continually act as if I didn't notice. I still do that. But I did mention it to my husband. He found it amusing. I told a friend of mine about it (benthebald) and he said my reaction was the best one. Anything else would be letting the guy know that I've noticed his attentions, and that would in effect encourage him to continue. I guess so. It's just a strange position to be in. I'm married and he knows it; he's married and he's knows I know it. Yet still.... Yes, it's nice to be "appreciated" but it's not so nice to be given an unwanted invitation.

I plan to continue on with my tact of acting as if I'm missing his cues. Hopefully he'll give up whatever it is he's trying to do.

My Bad

I know, I could have at least told you all that I'm back from my trek to Georgia. I got in about 1:30 am Wednesday morning. From there it was a looong day. I was fortunate in that my power got turned on sometime Tuesday. Once we flipped the switches in the fuse box, it didn't take long for me to get hot water for a shower and then jump into my OWN bed. That felt so nice.

What To Do?

True to form I'm in a bit of a quandary. Remeber a while back I said I wanted to write a book? Yeah. And remember the other day I said I've always been indecisive? Right. I really want to try my hand at finishing a book. Especially with NaNoWriMo starting November 1st, now would be a great time to try again. With all the zillion possible topics my problem is choosing one. Real-life documentary type? Fiction novel type? Person? People? Place? First-person narrative? Third-person? Superficial entertainment? Meaningful?

You see I have issues! LOL

***************************

I'm still hanging out in Georgia. I almost don't want to go home. NOT because I love it here but because I'm not looking forward to going back to a musty house where the fridge had to be left open, the floor needs to be cleaned, and gas is in short supply but I'm still expected to go to work!

10+1 Dalmations

Walking contradictions? You tell me.

1. I'm shy but I like to be the "talk of the town" in a good way.


2. I have a mixed heritage (doesn't everyone). My father's side of the family is from Grenada. My mother's family is from Jamaica but that includes her Indian grandparents (from India) on her mother's side, and her Irish and English grandparents on her father's side.


3. I like decisive and confident men because I'm not.


4. I would love to move back to a place with seasons but I would so miss the sunny days of South Florida.


5. I have one child and would love more; I just can't seem to make it happen.


6. Once upon a time I wanted to be a judge but I didn't want to have to be a lawyer first.


7. I used to have a high metabolism - it takes more work now than it used to for me stay trim (read: I'm getting flabby).


8. I'm a girl who doesn't have many girlfriends - no patience.


9. In many ways, I'm the opposite of my mother. In other ways we're the same. (Profound, huh?)


10. I would love to be a social butterfly but I don't have the patience to get to know people.

You knew it was coming...

Wilma
The storm, I thought, was pretty bad. I heard of cars being turned over, we saw school portables and airplanes overturned. Concrete poles holding up power lines were broken from being pulled down by other poles; huge trees toppled over blocking streets; street signals swinging at dashboard height. Fortunately I had water, but of course no power. We were lucky to have a grill with gas as did our immediate neighbors.

I slept through most of the storm but I heard it battering the window - esp. the second half of the storm after the eye passed.

By Tuesday we decided we may as well leave South Florida and head on up to Jacksonville for a day since there was nothing else to do. My mother invited her neighbor so we ended up having to drive two vehicles. 60 miles later my car ran out of gas on the highway. Our efforts to find gas along the way were fruitless obviously. We did find one place but we got turned away because the 7 o'clock curfew was only a half hour away. The local hotels were full. K and K Jr were stuck on the highway and my mother's truck had less than half a tank left. My mother's neighbor didn't want to end up in Jax for two days so we figured the best thing to do was head back home, which we did. We left my baby (the TL) on the side of the road and went home. Dinner was rice cooked on the grill along with various other things we found around, and some soup. Wed morning we found that my father-in-law had some gas in a gas can. He drove with us the 60 miles north, refilled the truck, filled the gas can for the TL, and drove it the 60 miles back! And here we are in Albany, GA, at my sister's place. *whew* Of course, yet again, we didn't make it to Jax.

I suppose we'll head home on Sunday. Maybe we'll stop in Jax on the way back.

New Additions

Hey, All! Just wanted to let you know that I've recently added a few blogs to my blogroll:

What's da Buzz? - This girl, Lily, is on top of the entertainment scene

No Longer Confused - I've been reading her for a while but I figured I was being selfish keeping her to myself

JDid - a buy from my hometown of Toronto!

Stunner - writing from yawd (Jamaica)

Ben the Bald - a thirty-something yr-old friend of mine I've known since college

So Like Me

SP had a cool post about who would play her if there was a movie about her life. She didn’t know and I don’t know either. I thought and I thought but I just couldn’t think of anyone. But as I read on she also talked about how people see her versus how she sees herself and, of course, logically, I started thinking about myself.

At first glance most would find me "cold, emotionless, and intelligent" as I’ve been told. Those who know me think I have an answer for everything; that I’m argumentative. “Is there anything good about you, ShellyP?” I respond with a resounding “Yes!” My friends would also say that I’m sincere and caring, intelligent and articulate (what?).

As for myself, I agree that to the casual observer I appear uncaring. That’s because I really don’t care. I don’t care if people don’t agree with me, or if they don’t like what I’m wearing, what religion I am, or any of that. Intelligent and articulate? Ok, I certainly don’t feel that way most times. I’m shy (which is strange considering how much I claim to not care) and don’t like speaking in public. I do it if I have to but my body goes through a lot of stress beforehand. I feel like I struggle to find the words to say. Caring and sincere I agree with. Argumentative? Me? Yes, I’ll admit that I love a good fight, but you best come prepared cause according to benthebald if we’re arguing about apples I’ll throw some oranges in there. One of my main problems is that I have hard time choosing one thing. I remember back in high school during lunch nyabg and I would go by the corner store to buy some chocolate and it would take me, like, ten minutes standing in front of the display trying to decide what I felt like having. I still do that but I’m getting better. Things don’t tend to bother me too much unless I expect you to know better in which case I’ll wink at your ignorance. The fact that I can hide most of my emotions goes hand in hand with my seeming coldness I assume. You never know how close I am to breaking because I won’t give you that upper hand. And if I you think you see a chink in my armor, it’s probably because I’m letting you see it for a reason.

I used to be a ‘yes’ person (Ms. Giget, can you relate?). It was very difficult for me to say ‘no’ to most requests. Being married helped me to change that. My husband helps me to keep my priorities straight. Now, for the most part, I don’t have a problem saying ‘no’. As a matter of fact, I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

My self esteem is ok. It could be better but it has improved over the past few years as I’ve come into my own and realized my independence. I’ve been blessed with a great support system.

***********************

What makes you feel sexy? The Princess mentioned jeans and a baby tee (#92). I’ve heard others talk about lacy undergarments. Some may say it’s wearing makeup or perfume or a particular hairstyle. What about a bubble bath? Silk sheets? How about you?

I think I found them!

http://duoboots.com/2_classic.php

Pour Some for the Lost

I have this thing about eating in my car - I love to do it. If it's a nice day I'll park in the shade, roll the windows down, recline the seat after turning on some music and eat my lunch. It doesn't matter if I'm alone or not. Usually it's just Sean Paul and I chilling - me eating, him singing. Those are good times. These times were more frequent before my job changed locations. Today, however, I had the luxury to indulge, but dang it if I didn't lose a black bean!

************************************

A while back I introduced you to Steve. I don't know why I thought about him today, but I did. I said I would have loved him, but I believe I always have. That's not to say I would forego life as I know it to be with him, but it's the kind of love you have for someone who is close to your heart - not necessarily an erotic love. The last time I saw him I was in Toronto for a short period of time visiting my sick grandmother. I managed to track him down and he came by to see me. I bought grapes and strawberries for us to snack on. We sat in my grandmother's living room and talked and ate. He was pleasantly surprised that I prepared anything at all. Then he had to leave. We walked and talked and talked some more. What a sight we were standing on the sidewalk across the street from the subway station - me in my "I'm too cute Shirley Temple curls and semi-sophisticated outfit" and him in his rude boy gear - we looked like opposites. I didn't care. Just before he left we kissed for the first and last time, but dang it if I didn't wish we could stand there kissing forever!

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I found these on Manolo's Shoe Blog - they are so amazing! I have a problem with my calves being too skinny to fit into ANY boots I find. I did a search a couple of years ago and finally found the perfect leather boots made to fit, but dang it if I didn't lose the website!

************************************

Love Suggestion: Go home and play in your loved one's hair today for at least 10 minutes. (You nasty people - I meant the hair on the top of his or her head!)

Long days. Short nights. Not enough sleep. No time to think.

I was talking to a friend on Friday and the question came up: Why do men feel the need to impregnate women? I mean, even men that have their own women - a guy will have a female friend and the thought of her having his baby will be a fleeting thought in his mind. Why is that??

I don't know what would happen, but I would NOT be the one!! Check this out - an 18-yr old 'girl' moves out of her mom's house and into a friend's basement, but she's suing her parents for child support so she can go to college!!

I have no words for this. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you think you're grown enough to move out and live by your own rules, then go ahead, but think you can force me to support you. Shoot. I'd have to put all my money in some offshort account or something!

I Wonder

...if the Princess would approve of these?

What To Say?

What do you tell someone who is quickly losing faith in marriage? I have a good friend (no, I'm not talking about myself) who is contemplating getting married. He says he doesn't have many examples of successful marriages to look at. What can I say? He says too many marriages end in divorce, and even if they don't, a lot of times the couples aren't happy. I point to mine and he agrees that it's a'ight. But that's about it. Any ideas on how I could help him to regain the lost faith?

I Didn't Deserve It

I've guess I've gotten on someone's good side. I went in to work this morning only to find a tin of cookies waiting for me on my desk. Apparently, one of my co-workers made good on his promise to reward my efforts of fixing bugs for his project.

Ceramic Iron

My sister recently purchased a ceramic iron. When I called her up and asked her how she liked it she told me that she loved it. So, being the product junkie that I am I went out and bought one ($70). I currently have the old style metal flat iron that you put into a ceramic oven. I burned myself and my hair a few times with that one. The ceramic one is electric and has multiple settings. So far I love it. Although I read reviews on the particular model that I bought and it got low marks for reliability. I'll be returning it this week and buying a better model ($127)...eventually. In the meantime it has worked wonders in my hair. My hair is now pretty much how I've always it to be. There has usually always been a trade-off: stick-straight permed hair that's easily damage and has to be roller-set and re-permed every few months, or natural thick frizzy curls that can't be worn loose, or flat-ironed straight and frizzy and dry and damaged. Now, it's none of those. It's soft, not sticky (I only use one heat-protectant product on it and that's it), smooth, thick, straight, full, and healthy. I've gotten many requests from girlfriends who want to come over and have me try the iron in their hair. I just smile.

You've seen the front. Here's the back.

Me and HIM


More here ->

3 More Things

THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
[1] unconscious drivers (those unaware of their surroundings and are inconsiderate)
[2] how anyone could hurt a child
[3]

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK (at work):
[1] a wedding picture of me and my husband
[2] a picture of my friend/co-worker's son
[3] my daily work journal

THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
[1] trying to answer these questions
[2] watching Sid eat dinner
[3] mentally preparing myself for a 4-hr drive

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
[1] be financially independent
[2] write a book
[3] travel the world

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
[1] frustrate people
[2] figure things out
[3] make my husband laugh

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
[1] quiet
[2]
[3]

THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
[1] whistle
[2] tell an outright lie
[3] not feel deeply when something really good or really bad happens

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
[1] God
[2] your conscience
[3] the people you know love you unconditionally (but still evaluate their advice)

THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
[1] You can learn something from everything and everyone, but you shouldn't necessarily follow through with the advice.
[2]
[3]

THREE THINGS YOU SAY:
[1] really, now?
[2] Sidney, I love you.
[3]

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
[1] my husband's tilapia dinner
[2] my husband's mom's soup
[3] Longhorn's chocolate stampede

THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
[1] how to be more of a people-person
[2] cosmetology
[3] doing voice overs

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
[1] lemonade
[2] water
[3] sprite

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
[1] Voltron
[2] Electric Company
[3] Flintstones
[4] Thundercats
[5] Smurfs
[6] The list goes on, and on, and on....

THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:
[1] be honest with themselves
[2] not judge others
[3] be more logical

As you can tell, I had a bit of trouble answering these questions.

"My Peepz"

A fellow blogger is trying to do something. Let's give him some support! BrothaBuck has designed a calendar and he'd like to introduce you to his characters. Meet "My Peepz" here. And if you can, send him some feedback. Good or bad, I'm sure he would love to hear from you.

I played hookie today

I took the day off from work. I guess you can tell by the post title. *shrug* There's something to be said for not being at work when you're supposed to be. It's different than a holiday or a hurricane day. I spent the day with my boo. We hung out, ran errands, picked up Sid early from daycare. It was nice. And now I have a short work week to look forward to. Plus, hopefully I'll be in Jacksonville on Thursday signing the closing papers on one of our properties that we're selling. Then we only have one other to get rid of. I tell you, tenants can be a pain in the behind. Why people feel they have the right to live for free while you have to fight to keep your property is beyond me. These people in our other property are driving me crazy. They're preventing potential buyers from even looking at the house and besides paying the mortgage every month I have to pay to evict them! It's not like I'm rolling in dough. Even if I was, other people's children are not my responsibility!

At the risk of sounding fanatical

If I didn't make this post, I wouldn't be true to myself.

This morning I attended part of a 24-hr prayer session at my church. It began Friday at 6 pm. The Sabbath School department was responsible for leading out from 6 am to 10 am Saturday morning. Trying to be responsible (since I had to ask all of my secretaries to also be there at various times during our segment) I got there just in time. It was only a few of us at first. There were some sincere prayers and testimonies and as others showed up they joined in. One particular lady came and changed my morning.

I never attend these sessions expecting anything. As a matter of fact, I've only been to one other event similar to this one - it was a sunset to midnight prayer session some years ago. I remember leaving the church with such a feeling of peace and harmony. I can't even begin to explain. The following Sabbath morning service was unlike any I had ever had before or since. But still, I went this morning expecting to fulfill my duty and go home and take a nap. We have regular prayer meetings every Wednesday night, but it's not the same. It feels too routine, too...forced.

As we stood there one lady came and poured out her heart about the burden she felt for her children. She was so sincere. Her three oldest children (of five), when they were home in Jamaica, were in the church. But in seeking a better life for her family she brought them all here and I feel she almost regrets it. Sometimes she doesn't know where they are for days at a time. I couldn't imagine her pain and guilt. As a visiting brother prayed for her children by name I couldn't have spoken even if I wanted to. All I could was think of Sidney, and all the other children, and all the broken-hearted parents.

Other prayers went up for various things like healing and thanks and forgiveness. This last one again made me realize how far short I fall from being the person I should be.

By 8:30 am I left to come home and get the rest of my family. I didn't really want to leave. The closeness and the fellowship and the open hearts were healing to the spirit. I wish we had more prayer sessions like this. Not necessarily 24 hours, and not necessarily set up for a specific time each week or month, but as the Holy Spirit prompts.

This one thing I can say for certain, I would rather live my life as a God-fearing Christian and die wrong, than to live my life to please myself not believing in God and be wrong.

In the News

SOUTH FLORIDA, USA (Spinn Press) - Contrary to popular belief, ShellyP has not gone AWOL.

ShellP has been sighted at various locations around town including her job, out walking with her family, and at home cleaning out her garage of old college notes. All of this occurred only yesterday with not as much planned for today. Experts say that while these sightings would seem to imply a leisure life, ShellyP is far from relaxed. "ShellyP is quite busy. I'm surprised she found time to attend that two-year old's birthday party this past Sunday," once source close to ShellyP was quoted as saying. "I really wish I had more time to spend with my family," ShellyP said when recently questioned about her life. "I want to be able to set my own schedule and not have to check the budget just to go grocery shopping." Although these sentiments ring true for many people, ShellyP is working on plans to turn things around for herself and her family. The media has been following her life closely over the past few years and it's not expected that that will change anytime soon.

ShellyP's future plans have not yet been released.

MIA

It would appear that that's what I have been - missing in action. Actually, I decided to take a break, not from blogging, per se, but from work. My blog was an an innocent bystander that got dragged in against it's will.

It started out as a weekend trip to Albany, Georgia, to visit my sister. It ended up being a road trip - South Florida to Albany, Georgia, to Toronto, Canada, then back again in the same order. It was me, my husband, Sidney, and my mother. Sid, as usual, was the best travel partner. He slept, he ate, he kept himself and the rest of us amused. During the last leg of the trip he was through with the ride though. He was calling, "Mommy, mommy. Get me out."

Toronto was nice. The crime was shocking. Some record homicide numbers the past few months. Every weekend kids are killing kids. I hear that the neighborhood I used to live in, cabs won't even go there anymore. As a matter fact, the local newspaper is doing a 7-part story on the crime in that particular area.

Met up with tons of family. I even managed to surprise nyabg by attending her housewarming party. That was one of the incentives for my going on the trip in the first place.

Of course, no trip is complete without some sort of drama, of which we had our share. On the way to Albany, the tranny on my TL-S went...again. We're on our fourth transmission now. Fortunately, it's a known problem so Acura swaps it out with a new one and off we go - almost. It was Friday, 4 pm before a long weekend, no new tranny in sight, a trip to Canada on the line. As it turned out, Acura will be reimbursing us for part of the rental we had to get - a Mazda mini van. That meant no more miles on my car and a roomier ride. Not bad. That was drama #1. Drama #2 involved me and my husband spending six hours of the next Friday night in an emergency ward because he was having chest pains. Fortunately, after $300 and another bill to come, the doctor determined it wasn't his heart, which was, undoubtedly, a relief. They figure it's some other muscle spasm thing going on. I think it may be related to a hand injury he got not a week before.

I've never been so glad to be back in my own bed.

A Week Late and a Million Dollars Short

I'm glad that Diggs and Gian are ok.

I wish there was something I could do. I donated some money through my company who matched all donations. I didn't think about giving blood but I can do that too. What else can I do? Suggestions?

For The Curious

Edit: How could I forget the nasty weather? We thankfully survived another hurricane with minimal inconvenience to ourselves, but a lot others were not so fortunate. Not to mention the rainy season in general where every day it pours at least once, sometimes twice for the day, for weeks at a time. The sun still shines brightly which can be disconcerting but I've gotten used to it. So, the rain (and the fact that we're surrounded by water) causes constant humidity. Oh boy, let me stop. I could go on, and on, and on....

I'm a Canadian. I would say "through and through" but that's not entirely true anymore. I became a naturalized US Citizen about five years ago. I moved to Florida way back in 1991. It feels like a lifetime ago. Well, being 14 years ago, I guess that is a lifetime. I didn't want to leave my hometown of Toronto. My mother left a year ahead of me allowing me to finish my last year in high school. That was a good year. I lived with my grandparents right in the city on one of the main roads. But eventually the year ended. I vowed to keep in touch with all of my friends, and I did for a while. I used to write draft letters and then write the "good copy" like we used to do for papers in school. (That's one reason I love email - because I can type and delete and reword phrases effortlessly.)

I moved down just in time to start university. I literally arrived the week before school started. What can I say about this place. Florida is nice place to visit, but I didn't want to live here. I came with an open mind, but that closed pretty quickly. I never experienced racism until I moved here. I barely knew what racism was. I'm sure that racism existed in Toronto also, but it must be have been more covert because I was totally unaware of it. With respect to the culture, I liken Toronto to a garden salad, not a melting pot. That was one of my biggest issues with Florida. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand the ever-present emphasis on "the man" or the idea of being held down. I couldn't understand the negative attitudes towards a whole race of people. I found it all to be extremely frustrating. I wish everyone understood the importance of travelling, or at least learning about other cultures.

Geographically, Florida leaves much to be desired. The seasons don't change. I miss the colors of Autumn, the icicles and snow of winter, the new life of spring, and the dry heat of summer. My first Christmas was strange, to say the least.
And don't even talk about the topography, everything is flat. Plus, you can't get around without a vehicle since everything is so spread out. Of course there is no subway. And I know there's really no need for brick homes down here, but I miss those two.

So why am I still here, 14 years later, you ask? I decided to grin and bear it the first few years because I had to. But with time came roots. My husband found me and now we have a family, not to mention a lot of extended family that live nearby. Yes, we could still leave, but there are other factors to take into consideration. From time to time I bring up the idea of moving but we don't get very far in our discussions. We both fell in love with Germany when we visited but I know moving there is just a pipedream.

The Latest Question

Edit: Me and my "local" mindset assumed everyone just knew I was referring to Naples, Florida. Boy, do I WISH I had it the way Brotha Buck thought. Just goes to show how tired I was.

I'm in Naples right now. It's 1:41 am and I'm beat. We got here only 2.5 hrs ago after a long full productive day at church. I would have much rather waited until daylight on Sunday to head out, but K was insistent on coming Saturday night. So here I am, tired and restless.

Oh, I remember what question I wanted to pose to you. (Hopefully you made it past my rambling!)

• I believe God gave us marriage for companionship.
  
  I don't want to be old and alone, I can tell you that much. I want to share my joys and sorrows with a sympathizing/empathizing person who actually cares how I feel. And really, there's nothing like being open and free with someone you totally trust who feels the same way about you.



• I believe God gave us marriage for "legal" sex.
  
  Of course, with this comes the obligation to actually HAVE SEX with our spouses. I don't want to harp on this subject too much since we touched on it before, but I gotta put in a plug for the undersexed spouse (male or female). *Hint* If he's asking for some go ahead and give it to him with a smile. He'll be happy and in turn strive to make you even happier. It's an amazing cycle. Women, we have to realize the power we wield!



• There's no doubt He gave us marriage for "legal" procreation.
  
  I don't have much to say on this one. I remember when I was pregnant and especially after Sid was born, the thought that he was a product of the two of us amazed me. It still does. He is a perfect combination of the two of us.

Do you agree or disagree with the statements I made? What is the purpose of marriage? (Not what is marriage.) There's no right or wrong answer I just want to know your thoughts.

My Dreams

I am notorious for having crazy dreams. I've especially noticed that the older I've gotten, the more my surroundings affect my subconscious. Take yesterday, for example, when a few uninteresting things happened. SP sent me a link to the local newspaper with an article about how blogs can sometimes bite and they referred to dooce.com. Part of my dream later that night involved me visiting Ohio which sort of looked like San Francisco to meet up with dooce's creator, Heather Armstrong. Nevermind that she lives in Utah. In my dream, she lived in a penthouse of sorts atop a six or seven story building. While I was up there, of course, there was an earthquake.

I saw the safe landing of the navy plane last night also, so what else do you think was a part of my dream? Apparently my husband has a friend who owns a jet fighter and he offered to take me and Sidney on a joy flight, which was very cool.

Oh yeah, and I forget the part of the dream where one of my coworkers emails everyone in the team and emphasizes the fact that I, among a few others, have not yet filled out my trip report about the Human Computer Interaction Conference I attended in Las Vegas almost three weeks ago.

When I was young my dreams were not nearly as complex. Like the one where I was dressed as my superheroine idol, Wonder Woman, and I got sucked down the bathtub drain and ended up on the other side of the world, in China. Or the one where I was running from Count Dracula through a department store in my pink slippers.

Life was so much simpler then.

MyMoondrops website link

Check out the coooolest baby cribs and furniture!"

Taking Too Long To Update

I know it's taking me way too long to give ya'll an update on my trip. Really, now, you know nothing interesting happened. The city of sin had no hold on me. First off, I was surprised to see slot machines at the airport. I should have known. I took the shuttle to Bally's. It was 8:30 at night at the city was live. As I walked into the hotel lobby the first thing that hit me was the smoke. I was beat so I checked in and found my way to my room...on the 22nd floor. What a view I had the next day! I settled in, took my shower and got on the innanet and waited for my babies to arrive. The whole trip planning had happened so quickly. That's a whole 'nother (almost bitter ending) story. Anyway, they got in after 11. The next three days saw me getting up at 7 and getting back to the room at 6:30. I'd meet the babies for lunch and the rest of the time they were on their own to wander the streets while I sat through presentation and presentation. Monday night, K's old high school friend took us to the old Strip where we ate talked and ate fried twinkies. Tuesday evening we toured the expensive shops and wandered the various hotels. Wednesday was more of the same but that day also included packing and rushing to catch our midnight flight. Sidney was great. We made sure to wear him out beforehand so by the time he got on the plane he was ready to sleep. 100+ degree weather will do that to you.

I did say that I would eat well, and boy did I ever. No expense was spared when it came to my food. Ok, I didn't splurge and buy dessert, but that's cause I was too full from the drinks (virgin), appetizers, and entree.

No pictures. We were bad. We brought the camera but....

I can honestly say, though, that I was one of the cutest conference attendees. I was always dressed to impress (which I did). But the important thing is that I learned a lot. I took copious notes and I bought three relevant books on usability. Now I have to sit down and put together my trip report for distribution in the office. I better do it soon before I forget everything and I'm not able to decipher my notes!

Anything else going on in my life besides the bills? Not really. Trying to sell my car. It's a silver 2002 Acura TL-S with 89000 miles on it.

I'm not back in the swing of things at work yet. It's been three days and I don't feel like I've done anything productive. What do I want to do? I want to post some more relationship related questions. I like to read your responses. But that will have to be another day. Gotta go play with my toy (hehe).

5 Thangs List

Ten Years Ago
I was 21 years old and in college. The youngest of my friends, they made a big deal out of my finally becoming a real adult.

Five Years Ago
I had no idea I was about to meet my husband.

One Year Ago
I had high hopes of having multiple streams of income.

Yesterday
I got a reality check going through my bills that I'm nowhere near where I wanted to be at this time.

Today
I feel like I haven't done any work all week so far and it's Wednesday already.

Tomorrow
I'll still go to work and not feel like doing anything.

Five Snacks I Enjoy
pineapple slices, seltzer water, grapes & strawberries, almost anything with chocolate, nutri-grain peanut butter granola bars

Five Bands I Know All The Words To Their Music
None that I can think of.

Five Things I Would Do With $1,000,000
Pay tithe & offering, pay off all my debts, buy real estate, give some to my mother/sister/mother-in-law, move to a new house on a bigger lot.

Five Lodations I Would Like To Run Away To
Venice, Italy; Cairo, Egypt; Barcelona, Spain; The Cayman Islands; Toronto, Canada

Five Bad Habits
grind my teeth at night; play devil's advocate; sit on my legs; eat junk food; I'm an impulse buyer (sometimes) (SP says I'm obsessed with shoes)

Five Things I Like Doing
spending time with my family; looking cute; helping others; getting/giving affection; reading

Five TV Shows I Like
Girlfriends, Kim Possible, That's So Raven, Star Trek, ER

Five Famous People I'd Like To Meet
Jesus; Jada Pinkett-Smith maybe?; Angelina Jolie?; Ooh, Morris Chestnut!; uh, Bill & Hilary Clinton

Five Biggest Joys At This Moment
Sidney; K; working for the Communication Dept of my church; (I guess that's it then)

Five Favorite Toys
K, K, K, K, K

Five People Plus Two Who Have Been Tagged
Hmm, who can I torture? proactiff, n.y.a.b.g, picasso the grey, ms. giget, neena, lawda, devasT (you all have Aziza to thank for this!)

I Made It

Yeah, so here I am in the hotel room just about ready to go to bed. It's only 10:40 pm on Sunday but my body thinks it's 1:40 am on Monday. Of course, the city is alive, and it's calling to me. "At least walk the strip for an hour," it's saying. "Check out the slot machines in lobby at least," it whispers. But I'm too tired. I have clothes to iron, a shower to take, a cold bed waiting to remind me how much I love my own bed. But tomorrow night I'll be better rested and ready to take on the lights and whatever else the city wants to throw at me (that can be legitimately expensed). Hey, I may not see a show but at least I'll eat well.

I'm off to Vegas

Wouldn't you know it? There's a conference I really want to go to, but it's in Las Vegas. I told management about it about three months ago. They finally decided on Friday at 4:30 pm to say 'yes'. (I understand that I'm the only one in my office that does what I do and with our product going to a beta site they were afraid to have me unavailable to fix potential problems, but still.) What that meant was a mad rush to book my flights and get me registered. Lizzy was an angel staying with me til 6 pm getting everything just right. I owe her big time. So, I'm leaving at 3 something tomorrow and won't be back until Thursday morning. I'm bringing my laptop and my webcam, of course. Don't know how diligent I'll be in bringing you updates from the Strip, but I'll try.

Til next time, viva Las Vegas!

I'm working on it....

It went. I went. It was good.

My friend, Rainy, is Misty's neighbor. Misty was the one having the going-away get-together last night. I've known Rainy since college. I really like having her as a friend. Our relationship is so simple. We can not talk for years but when we hook up it's like old times. Well, I've been endeavoring to be a more frequent friend so I've been making more of an effort to call her up this past year, esp. when she was expecting. Anyway, last night she called and left a message asking if I was going to Misty's. When I called her back I confirmed my attendance but I told her I really wanted to come by and see her baby girl. She promised to try to keep little mama awaky for the ten minutes it would take me to get there. Unfortunately, I didn't make it in time. Little mama was out. We sat and talked for a bit and looked at baby pictures and then I figured I should head over to Misty's since her scheduled timeframe was 5-11 pm and it was already 9:30 pm. Rainy went back with me and that's where it got interesting. As I walked in I was greeted by quite a few familiar faces - some of whom I hadn't seen in ten years. Didn't have much time to catch up because I really wanted to scope out Misty's new man. He wasn't hard to spot. He wasn't as GQ as I expected but he was cute enough. I guess they'd make a nice couple. He seemed friendly and helpful enough. Apparently he's a brainiac too. Hey, if Misty's happy (she is) then I'm happy for her. After seeing him I decided to "work the room" with Rainy in tow, so to speak. I think I spoke to 99% of the people there. That's quite odd for me. Remember, I'm not a people person; I'm more of a people watcher, which leads me and Rainy to a comfortable corner of the room with the perfect view of most people in room. Now how can I put this mildly...we some good laughs from the vantage point of that corner. It was all good though. Aside from being accosted by a three-year old every few minutes (Sidney taught me well how to handle toddlers), we met some cool people. We had a good time. Right when Rainy was about to leave (at 11) I decided I was hungry. By the time I finally made it back to her house where my keys were, it was 11:30. (Aside: Where were my babies, you might be wondering? They went to some graduation celebration my pseudo-cousin was having.) Rainy and I and her torn-ligament foot husband talked and laughed some more. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time; you know the kind of laughing that makes you cry. I had planned to be home by midnight (a mama's curfew, you know) but I didn't leave Rainy's til 12:30.

So this post was supposed to be about Misty's event, but yet again, you can read my heart is really feeling the good friend time rather than the get-together time.
Although, the get-together gave us some good fodder for our conversations!

I'm tired, I'm restless, and I'm ready for this project at work to be over. I need to be able to get on with my life. At least I've been pretty consistent with my bike riding in the evenings.

Is that so wrong?

SP and I sort of share a mutual friend. I say "sort of" because this friend is much more SP's than she is mine. But anyway, this friend is having a going-away get-together. I plan on attending but I can't afford a going-away gift. Tell me: do I have to buy something in order to be welcome?? When I told SP I wasn't bringing a gift, she looked at me like I was crazy. But I'm not kidding. A card I can do but that's about it. I tend to be quite a generous person. My friends know that. I'm frugal, but I when I have some dollars I spread the wealth. I would expect that my friends also understand that if I can't give, it doesn't mean I've switched to being cheap, it just that I don't have the means.

Regardless, should I not go or will a card suffice?

What is the color of love?

I went to the park during lunch yesterday. I was feeling so restless at work. I dragged a co-worker with me. We didn't know what we wanted to eat but we were hungry. But I didn't want to talk about anything I just wanted to DO something. So I drove. And we ended up at the park. We found some swings. I haven't been on a swing in years. But there they were, in the middle of an unshaded grassy area. We got out of the car and I trudged over to the swings, in my black top and heels. Did I mention the sun was out? There were two sets of swings. Three swings for little kids and three swings for older kids. I picked one of the latter and sat down and started to swing. I almost felt like a kid again. Except I kept seeing my heels. And my butt was starting to burn. I remember not having much fear as a child. I would swing really high and then jump off. I thought, for a minute, about trying it. Then I remembered I'm not 10 anymore. Plus, I'd probably have twisted my ankle. We swung for a while, til my behind couldn't take the searing pain anymore. I have a good friend. We sat together on a bench in the shade afterwards. Then I thought I really shouldn't let him starve so we left to find something to eat.

There aren't that many people who I consider tried and true friends. B has been around since college. Thanks to me (and I never let him forget it) he has a great-paying job *and* he gets to work with me. We sit in opposite cubes. We talk all the time. All. The. Time. He's good peeps. His wife is cool. His children are my children (not literally, but you know what I mean). I love them.

Me and my crazy babies!

Edit: You guys are so crazy! Thanks for the compliments. Btw, the whole dress is the same material as the bodice. K likes the dress too. As for the couches, I fell in love with them when I first saw them. I guess they're a sort of wine color. And the legs. Welllll....

Here I am about to get my grub on (again) after the wedding with some wedding cake. The real purpose of this post is to show some of the detail of my dress.

Can We Do Better, cont'd

Got some interesting feedback on my post about how to keep a man. I particularly liked the advice Anon 1 gave - very practical advice. Men, if you have anything to add to that, let us know!

Where am I going with all this? Hey, I'm always open to learning new things. Things I can use to make my relationship even better. This forum seems like as good a way as any to get input from others. And with it being public, maybe others can read and learn and apply.

That said, let's expand on the previous post. We know guys are not the best at taking 'hints' as to what we want or like, when we're ready, etc. They say we're complicated. Men, what do you find confusing about us? Women, what do you wish men understood about you?

My Cousin's Wedding

So yesterday we went to my cousin's wedding. It was really nice. I had a good enough time. The church was nicely decorated. The bridesmaids wore a lilac color. The party was huge, like six bridesmaids, a maid of honor, a matron of honor, two best men, six groomsmen, jr bride, flower girl, bible-bearer, kind of huge. Her dress was beautiful - simple and sophisticated. I don't know how much she spent but I really liked it. I would post a pic but my husband said not unless I get her permission. Overall, she looked amazing to me. I couldn't take my eyes off her. All the times I've seen her she draws me with her poise, her confidence, her beauty, her intelligence. She's a few years younger than me but she has impressed me greatly which is not easy to do since I'm so critical. All of those who toasted her said all of the things I already mentioned. I'm wasn't suprised. Her husband to me has been an associate of mine for years. I had to get over that weirdness because I knew him way back when he dated this other girl I know. Anyway, they met just before she moved to NY from California. She must have spent a year in NY and then she moved here. And in all that time, approx two years, they say they have never even kissed. Kudos to them. I thought *I* was a tough nut to crack. I guess not! I wish them the best. I know they'll be happy and successful and give me many cousin babies!

Another Pet Peeve

Most people who know me know that I can't stand inconsiderate drivers. Well, I just recently realized that I have another pet peeve that gets under my skin almost as must. Recently someone came to me and said that someone told her to come to me because I had something for her, but she's not going to tell me who. I barely know the lady and I didn't have anything for her. But what bothered me is that she had to make a point (and re-emphasize the fact) that she's wouldn't tell me who sent her? What's the big deal? Was it really necessary to 'protect' the identity of her source? And if so, why even tell me that you're not going to tell me?! I would never have known that anyone "sent her" if she didn't mention it. Maybe I'm just over-sensitive. I can't put my finger on exactly why it bothers me so much. I know I won't stop thinking about it til I do.

Me?

After the wedding

You didn't miss anything

I apologize for the confusion. I was a busy bee the other night (when I took a half) and so I ended up with three posts in one evening.

And, I know, I'm such a tease, promising new looks and stuff. Don't worry. A change is coming. I'm still working late though so it'll have to be next week sometime.

Webcam

We bought a webcam today. It is THE COOLEST THING!

Can We Do Better?

Edit: Hubby wants ya'll to know, that this post is not referring to our relationship.

Men are just as complex as women. I don't think that fact is emphasized enough. Men are expected to be 'men'. But they have feelings too. Just because they may not cry does not mean that they don't hurt. I came across an interesting post yesterday, "I now believe that it's not really sex that I crave. Nor is it love. I have both already. The sex could be better and more frequent, but it's not like we never, ever do it. And the love is there in abundance. No, it's not sex or love that I crave. It's desire. And by that I mean that I crave a relationship with a woman who really, truly desires me. A woman who lusts after me." This was written by a married man who loves his wife. Women, why do we let our men suffer like this. I know, we're not the only guilty party, but let's focus on our part for now. If your man doesn't feel desired, he will look for someone who will desire him. Don't doubt it. He WILL. And you know what? He will find someone or someones who will do for him what his woman won't. And then what? If and when he cheats, whose fault is it? Yes, he's grown and he can choose to not break the vow. Biblically, his woman can leave him. But is she really an innocent party?

My questions then are, what can we do to keep our men? How do we keep them interested? What big or little things can we do to show our desire for our mate?

I took a half day from work today. Girl issues. They don't usually plague me so I knew something was 'off'. Went to the doctor's instead. After ordering a pregnancy test and an ultrasound he left me to myself. So I sat. And I wondered. And I started psyching myself up, preparing for the worst. Another miscarriage. I tell you, I almost started crying right there in the office thinking of all the horrible things that could be wrong. What if I couldn't have any more kids from some complications or something? Well, turned out I was worried for nothing. (Or so he said.) My 'timer' was off a little bit. Not a miscarriage cause the pregnancy test came back negative. So I went home and rode my bike.

Let's Talk About Me, Shall We?

O, why not? It's my blog. May as well show the vain side of me (like you've never seen that side of me before).

Recently I asked a couple of my friends what makes me desirable. (I know, this assumes that I am desirable, but I thought that was a safe assumption to make.) And I got back some interesting answers...

1. It's just you. You know when you just like everything about someone and you can't put your finger on why exactly you find them attractive? (My response was "No, I always know why I find someone attractive.)
2. Smart and slimly sexy
3. You have never been anything less than a lady... anything less than caring, respectful and attentive.
4. Intelligent.
5. Funny.
6. Good to talk to (when you finally open up).
7. Nice figure.
8. Opinionated (there are men that DO NOT like that trait in women).
9. Covertly sexy.
10. Difficult\impossible to “conquer.”
11. I liked your voice (hubby said that one)
12. Nice smile. I liked your teeth. (hubby said this one too)

I'm not sure why I asked them that question. Maybe I was feeling like an old married woman, I don't know. But they made me smile. That's what friends are for. Thanks guys!

Today is my anniversary!

Four years and counting.... I always say I wish we got married earlier but I wouldn't have been ready for him. So, I have to make the most of what time we do have. Maybe buy a lei and grass skirt a la Tiff. :) Or maybe just a lei? hehe.

To All The Men In My Life

For the love of men, I have to say HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

I've mentioned it before but it can't hurt to say it again - I have been so blessed by the men that God has put in my life throughout the years. They have inspired me, taught me, protected me, encouraged me, loved me. I am so grateful for them. ALL of them.

I have friends who are fathers. I am always amazed at how time has flown. Most of them I have known since college. The days of carefree youth, fun, studying, our whole lives ahead of us. Now we're the grown-ups, the responsible ones. Happy Father's Day to You, my friends!

My stepgrandfather was the father I never had. I love him so much. He was the first man who ever apologized to me. He didn't have to. Back in my day, children had to respect their elders whether the adult was right or wrong. He didn't have to apologize to me. An adult saying sorry to a child was unheard of. And at the time I was so surprised I didn't know what to say. But I never forgot. And when it was my turn to apologize to him, I did it not because it was expected of me, but because I respected him so much I felt he deserved it. Happy Father's Day to You, Yappy!

My father-in-law is so amazing. He's the sweetest man and he treats me like a princess. He embraced me from the beginning. He's calls me "daughter." Anything I ask, I know he will oblige. Happy Father's Day to You, Dad!

My husband is the love of my life. He is everything. He is my heart. He's my baby daddy. (Sometimes he's my daddy. Is that TMI?) I want him in my life forever. One of the things that attracted me to him in the first place was parenting. He loves his children. He wants the best for them. I knew he would be a good father if we had children together. We only have one right now. I'm working on making that "child" a "children." Happy Father's Day to You, Baby! I love you.

***********************

SP lent me some books last Friday. I started reading, "The Devil Wears Prada." I'm so superficial, I know.

Btw, I added SP to my blogroll. Check her out.

Look Out!

A change is gonna come. Funny thing is, I've been planning to change the look of my blog but I've been so busy (you know - b.u.s.y). And I'm noticing that quite a few others have gone through some changes also. Mine will come. I 'stole' some time today to work on a new logo. Soon to be unveiled...I hope!

It'll be friday in a few minutes. I'm so glad. I'll get some much needed rest this Sabbath!

Reading

I recently finished reading "Gotham Diaries" by Tonya Lewis-Lee (Spike Lee's wife) and Crystal McCrary Anthony. Excellent Read! I wished the story didn't end. But now I'm left feenin' for another book to read. Yes, I have my stash but those books are packed away in boxes. Does anyone have any recommendations on a good next book? Fictional or not, it doesn't matter.

I'm Not Guilty

Or am I? Should I be held accountable for my apparent neglect of my blog? Certainly you jest! I'm not guilty on any counts of intended neglect. But do you remember my job? The one I love? Yeah, that one. Well, they have me under a strict deadline. I should be working right now, but I don't feel guilty. My brain needs a break. I've been pulling these crazy hours. Even coming in on the weekend! *gasp* I miss my family. I have pictures all around but that's no substitute for the time I'm losing, missing out on Sid's developments. I know, it's only a month out of my life, but so much can happen in that time. My only solace is that Sid isn't spending all of his time at daycare - he's there about 6 hours a day, sometimes less.

I miss reading you all too. I don't even have time for that. By the time I get home my husband tells me to go to bed so I can wake up the next morning and not be so tired. If he catches me online....

Oh, the good news is my business (conference) trip to Vegas at the end of July has been approved (yay)! I'm looking forward to it, can you tell? Pics will definitely follow!

Spend Update

Ya'll would never believe! Someone gave me a 20% off coupon for Macy's that expired today. So, I did the logical thing: I brought all my shoes back and re-bought the two I intended to keep. I REALLY made out like a bandit!
Savings 1: in Orlando I paid 6.5% tax; in FLL I only paid 6%
Savings 2: the Unisa's were on sale for almost half off plus I got 20% off
Savings 3: I returned the black Unisa's
I'm so excited! I know Tiff and SP are exited for me too.

On the downside, we all went to the dentist for our biannual cleaning. My mouth hurts.

Me and My Baby at the Banquet

Me at the Couples' Retreat Banquet

Verdicts and Such

Black vs Pink Unisas: As much as I LOVE the black Unisas, they're going back. I was apprpriately reminded that nice black pumps are easy to find while pink ones are not.

Anne Klein vs Versace: Definitely keeping the Versace glasses. Still on the fence about the AKs.

Just finished reading The Hamptons.

Currently reading Gothem Diaries.

This weekend we went to a couples' retreat in Marco Island. The kids, of course, we left with various respectable guardians. Sid stayed with his favorite teacher from daycare. He didn't ask for me all weekend. But he did ask for his Daddy a couple of times after two days of not seeing him. So while I was half-agonizing over how he was doing he wasn't even thinking of me! Regardless, we had a good time. Don't think I need to fill you in on the agenda this time though.

Pictorial Review

My Versace glasses and Coach watch

My Anne Klein's

My gold sandal pump thingys

Black Unisa's

Or pink Unisa's?

Trip Report

Preface
K spent Thursday throwing up due to a stomach virus

Act I Scene I - Friday Night
K was too sick to drive but determined to make it to Orlando come what may = I had to drive the whole three hours.
(in unison) "Chunky butt blue!"
(one kid says) "I saw it first! You cheated!"
(other one says) "How you gonna say I cheated?"
(sid says) "Chunky butt white!"

Act I Scene II - Still Friday Night
We arrive in Kissimmee, a half hr south of Orlando, just after 11 pm. We stayed at my "cousins" house. 3900 sq ft. Twice the size of my own house and three times as many garages. Each of the older children had a room. My suite I had to share with my husband and youngest child. We had our own bathroom and our bedroom opened onto an enclosed side patio. The bed was more firm than my delicate self is used to. Dinner was waiting. We talked. We laughed. We showered. We went to bed.

Act II Scene I - Saturday Morning
Breakfast was waiting. We went to a local (small) church instead of attending the camp meeting service at FLA. The service was nice and so were the people. Lunch was served but we went home anyway where, you guessed it, lunch was waiting.

Act II Scene II - Saturday Afternoon
The Bible Bowl competition was scheduled for 3:45 pm. At 4:30 pm we (sans K who stayed back with his stomach virus to keep him company) left the house to find the hosting church. Despite mapquest's greatest efforts we got lost. What should have taken 45 mins max ended up taking 2 hours! I was not a happy camper. But the evening wasn't done. The oldest kid wanted to go to FLA to see what was going on. Well, how could we go all the way up to Orlando and not partake in some of the festivities??

Act II Scene III - Saturday Night
Ran into lots of people at FLA, some of whom I hadn't seen in a while. That was nice. Stayed for the 7:30 service. Watched some of drill teams compete (9 pm). Grabbed something to eat. Home by 11:30 pm. It was a long, long day.

Act III Scene IV - Sunday afternoon
Went back to FLA to buy the tickets for Wet'n Wild but the ticket sellers were already gone. Mad beeline for the park. By 4:00 pm we worked it out and the two older kids got in. Another mad beeline, this time for the Belz Outlet Mall. (pix of goodies to come) Dinner was at Sizzler's where I stuffed myself at the buffet and waited for my blog buddy to call me back.

Act IV Scene I - Monday
The usual - breakfast was waiting. We packed and cleaned up our spaces, thanked the hostess and headed out - not south, no, but north instead. Our sights were set on Macy's. Spent a few hours there then went to Chevy's for dinner. Stalked my blog buddy til she finally relented to bring herself and her family to meet myself and my family. That was cool. (I gotta tell you, that girl looks good. When I saw her get out of the driver's seat of her vehicle all I could wish was that I could one day look as good as she does. My husband even commented on her excellent muscle tone and how jealous he is. I would post a pic if I had her permission but I look so fat compared to her I couldn't show you all anyway!) Got back on the road heading for home at about 8 pm.
(in unison) "Chunky butt blue!"
(one kid says) "I saw it first! You cheated!"
(other one says) "How you gonna say I cheated?"
(sid says) "Chunky butt white!"

Afterward
Overall Weekend Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
The food was good, the company was good, met old friends, made new friends, hubby was sick, I got sick (cold), the kids had fun, I'm back in my own comfortable bed now.

PS According to the kids, a chunky butt is a PT Cruiser.
PPS Sorry if you think this story had TMI, but it's my party and I'll cry if I want to!

Shoes, Shoes, and More Shoes

So, eLuxury is having a 40% off sale and I've fallen in love all! Here are the two shoes I'm feinin' over...
Gold Pumps by Christian Lacroix
Black Pumps by Donna Karan

You all know what would happen if I even mentioned these shoes to my husband, right? *ding ding ding* That is correct - he would laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more.