Sunday, March 13, 2005

Loves Lost

I think the title speaks for itself...

In high school I saw this guy visiting a girlfriend of mine and I immediately had a crush on him. He was tall and slim and white. (Toronto is an extremely cosmopolitan city. Mixed couples of varying races is almost the norm.) He had the bad boy look. He was not the GQ type. He was rough around the edges. Believe me when I say he had every color Kangol cap you can think of! My best friend and I would follow him around the mall sometimes. He would so know that we were following him! Yes, I was a stalker. Nothing ever came of that 'relationship'. Can't quite figure out why not.

Ahh, my second boyfriend, Steve, now he had potential. I was still in my rude boy phase and he definitely fit that category. He wore baggy clothes (ok, he was skinny so everything looked baggy on him). He was tall and had beautiful dark smooth skin. He was so sweet to me. My mother would never have approved our relationship. He was a hustler. Not academically-inclined. Very independent. I would have loved him if he ever grew up.

My mother moved to Florida before my last year in high school. I stayed with my grandparents. One week when I visited her I happened to go roller-skating with a group of kids from a church she was attending. That's where I met H. I was young, he was only a bit older. I skated and eyed him the whole night. Finally, he skated over and asked me, "Are you lookin at me, or am I lookin at you?" I was dumbfounded that he even noticed me. We skated together holding hands during the last song. My hands never sweat so much in my entire life! I'm not one for long-distance relationships but I tried to keep this one open when I went back to Toronto. We called each other quite often (probably too often for my grandparents' liking since they paid the bill). I was hoping he would be there when I moved down the following year, but he left to go to school in Alabama. That was that. He fell in love with someone else. He was my first love lost.

My first year of college I met a guy I thought was very nice. On a whole, I suppose he was. He lived on campus. I didn't. We attended the same church. We had a couple of classes together. I was really feeling this guy. My mom (as usual) didn't too like him. Didn't matter. Apparently his mother didn't like me either, I later found out. Anyway, he acted like he liked me, but it took me two weekends to find out he had a girlfriend at our church.

Another friendship that that began in my freshman year of college had the potential to be my second lost love. Let's just say, he had a vice he wasn't willing to give up for 'us' so 'we' became 'he'.

I was engaged once...for over a year. Here's a tip: If you're engaged over a year, I'll bet the farm you don't really want to be with the person you've chosen. Get out before you waste more (of both of your) time. Not sure what I was thinking with this one. Everyone knew he wasn't for me (including me and, of course, my mother). According to my mother, we were always fighting. I wasn't in love with him either, but he was (is) a really good person. Not a love lost, but we learned a lot from each other. I credit myself with making him a better man for his current wife.

I've potentially had at least one other lost love. But it was one of those deals where you're young and you have a large circle of friends. You kinda like one but someone else works hard to get your attention and you give it, only to find out later (at the wrong time) that you're first interest really was diggin you too (and still is). Not a nice situation to be in.


Just finished reading Tom Sawyer Abroad. Very easy reading. Waste of time? Not exactly, but far from the best book I've read. What's next...? Hmm, let you know later.


Anonymous said...

in high school - remember the time on the bus? i think you were sitting beside him or a seat away and i was sitting across the aisle from you. and we were passing mad looks? jokes boy, jokes!

Steve was such a cutie!

Jin said...

Ahh, loves lost. It seems we all have at least one - what a nice trip down memory lane, thanks for sharing!

And thanks so much for your kind comments, by the way *smile*