Wednesday, October 19, 2005

So Like Me

SP had a cool post about who would play her if there was a movie about her life. She didn’t know and I don’t know either. I thought and I thought but I just couldn’t think of anyone. But as I read on she also talked about how people see her versus how she sees herself and, of course, logically, I started thinking about myself.

At first glance most would find me "cold, emotionless, and intelligent" as I’ve been told. Those who know me think I have an answer for everything; that I’m argumentative. “Is there anything good about you, ShellyP?” I respond with a resounding “Yes!” My friends would also say that I’m sincere and caring, intelligent and articulate (what?).

As for myself, I agree that to the casual observer I appear uncaring. That’s because I really don’t care. I don’t care if people don’t agree with me, or if they don’t like what I’m wearing, what religion I am, or any of that. Intelligent and articulate? Ok, I certainly don’t feel that way most times. I’m shy (which is strange considering how much I claim to not care) and don’t like speaking in public. I do it if I have to but my body goes through a lot of stress beforehand. I feel like I struggle to find the words to say. Caring and sincere I agree with. Argumentative? Me? Yes, I’ll admit that I love a good fight, but you best come prepared cause according to benthebald if we’re arguing about apples I’ll throw some oranges in there. One of my main problems is that I have hard time choosing one thing. I remember back in high school during lunch nyabg and I would go by the corner store to buy some chocolate and it would take me, like, ten minutes standing in front of the display trying to decide what I felt like having. I still do that but I’m getting better. Things don’t tend to bother me too much unless I expect you to know better in which case I’ll wink at your ignorance. The fact that I can hide most of my emotions goes hand in hand with my seeming coldness I assume. You never know how close I am to breaking because I won’t give you that upper hand. And if I you think you see a chink in my armor, it’s probably because I’m letting you see it for a reason.

I used to be a ‘yes’ person (Ms. Giget, can you relate?). It was very difficult for me to say ‘no’ to most requests. Being married helped me to change that. My husband helps me to keep my priorities straight. Now, for the most part, I don’t have a problem saying ‘no’. As a matter of fact, I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

My self esteem is ok. It could be better but it has improved over the past few years as I’ve come into my own and realized my independence. I’ve been blessed with a great support system.


What makes you feel sexy? The Princess mentioned jeans and a baby tee (#92). I’ve heard others talk about lacy undergarments. Some may say it’s wearing makeup or perfume or a particular hairstyle. What about a bubble bath? Silk sheets? How about you?


Brotha Buck said...

I don't know if I've ever slept on silk sheets, but dang, you sure gave a brotha some ideas!

SP said...

Awww! I inspired a post? ;o)

I didn't find you cold or emotionless at first glance. From day one, you were as caring as a sister to me. You are very intelligent and I would say that you carry yourself like a lady, with class. You are a loving mother and wife, a warm and caring person. And you are still undecisive as ever, but then again, so am I!

I would say that putting on my favorate perfume or my favorate body butter sent of the moment makes me feel sexy!

Anonymous said...

hmmm... i guess i can't really comment on this one. you're just shel to me. smart. inquisitive. a people watcher. nice. not agrumentative, but conversationalist. like to give alternative opinions, type of person.

i feel sexy - when i feel 'fit'.