So Much And Nothing

Don't look at me like that! I'm not the only one who hasn't been blogging lately!

Monday coming will be six weeks since I had Shelby. Yes, time has flown by. I have so enjoyed the time. Monday I officially start back working (from home at least but still).

As usual people have been getting on my nerves. I would love to explain how but I shouldn't. Let me just ask you this, what's worse - a hypocrite or one who tries to get over all the time? I have both in my life and for reasons beyond my control they will be in my life indefinitely. I think being a hypocrite is worse. I absolutely cannot stand when someone smiles in my face and then talks behind my back. Granted, that's not the case this time, at least not to my knowledge, but this person is definitely two-faced and try as I might to help I don't seem to be getting through. And I have to try. But it's hard. If I had a choice I would choose to not have to deal with this person.

Shelby is getting so big and she demands attention. Sidney is a wonderful little big brother. Lately though he's been complaining that he doesn't have anyone too keep him company when he goes to bed so many nights I wake up to find him standing next to me - so I pull him into my bed. (Thank goodness for the new king bed!) Jr got a cell phone. I know he was so excited when his father finally gave his consent. Stepdaughter - no news there. Her and Sid together drive me crazy though. Hubby is alright. And me, I'm here, spending my time with the bottles and the diapers and baby who seems to love to spit and drool.

What's up with you?

Today's Pix

Ok, no pix here, they're on Shelby's blog.

@Shawn: You're idea about getting my insurance to replace my phone was a good one, but *ahem* I, uh, didn't get any, er um, insurance on my cheap phone.

@Aziza: I hope it doesn't take me too long to learn how to use. As for why it's called chocolate...think dark, dark, maybe really dark chocolate. :) Actually, think sweeeet!

***************************************

Got some good news yesterday. Cuz Mocha and a bunch of other family on my father's side will be coming my way this New Year's!

Preoccupied

Ok, so I've neglected my blog for a while. I know you don't blame me for being preocuppied with my Princess. She's such a good baby. She eats a lot and sleeps a lot. She stays awake longer now, she smiles (no, it ain't gas), and she even started cooing. What a blessing!

I'm sick and Sid's sick, so I'm trying to make sure Shelby doesn't catch whatever it is that we have.

I'm finally getting a new phone. I've had my current phone for at least two years now. Hubby always goes for the gold when we get new phones and I always opt for one of the cheap ones. Well, not this time. I'm getting a new phone because the one I have has done it's time. It's been dropped a few times too many and it's age is showing. As you can tell by the picture, it's being held together by some elastic bands. See, if I take them off, the battery will keep coming loose and interrupting my calls by shutting down. How inconvenient. Well hubby won't let me be telephonically-challenged anymore. I ordered a chocolate yesterday. It shipped today and I can't wait to get it and start playing around.

She's Here!

By now, if you don't know for sure you can probably guess that my princess is here. It was a rough 2-3 hrs but we made it through. She's happy and healthy and she knows she's gorgeous. If you haven't checked her blog lately (like in the past 15 minutes) take a click over there and see the newest pictures. For those who wanna know how it all went down, I put a post up there about that too (it's not for the squeamish).

What else is going on? I've been getting lots of rest. This girl can eat (she has my appetite) and she can sleep (yeah, she gets that from me too). She's even a night owl like I used to be. She has me up from midnight to 3 a.m. every night. But in general the rest I get in between feedings is priceless. I've needed it. Last week I could hardly walk! I have a two-story house so I spent most of the time upstairs having food brought to me (I love my husband). This week is much, much better. Thank God for friends and family. A girlfriend of mine called last Friday and offered to cook for me the next day. At first I declined. I really wasn't up to "entertaining" plus I have a hard time accepting help from people. Hubby convinced me I was crazy to turn her down so I ended up taking her up on her offer and was glad I did. We enjoyed the company of her, her husband, and daughter. Makes me miss the times when I used to be more social.

Anyhoo, I can tell you I am SO GLAD to not have to go to work! I could be a stay at home mom. I would find stuff to do. Maybe I'd volunteer work part-time at Sid's school. They have a daycare there too so Shelby would be nearby.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

We Have A Winner!

Chele is our grand-prize winner this weekend. Her prizes include a trip down memory lane with stories of newborn drama and...a new car!

Ok, well, not the last one, but the memory lane I'm sure I could do. I'll be updating Shelby's blog with all the latest dirt.

While there are an infinite possibility of answers, for the purpose of this contest other correct answers include:

• Having interminable contraction pains every 3 minutes while being stuck behind a school bus picking up children in wheelchairs.
• Knocking an engorged breast against the shower door on your way in.
• A bad breastfeeding latch.

Let's See

Who can finish this sentence correctly?

Hell is ___________.

There Must Be Something About Mondays

That makes me have babies.

It's 7:00 am and I've been having contractions since 1:00 am, anywhere from 10-15 minutes apart. Now they're down to almost 5 minutes apart. I got up around 2:30 to make sure I was packed. Now all we have to do is get Sid ready for school, drop him off, then take me to the hospital. Hopefully I'm almost ready to deliver cause these contractions are tiring.

If you don't hear from me over the next few days it's because I don't have Internet access at the hospital.

Wish me luck!

YAY!

I got my pictures!!

The Countdown Continues

Less than two weeks to go now! My mother keeps telling me how anxious she is for her granddaughter to get here, as if I can up and push her out! lol. On the other hand, one my managers at work keeps telling me how deer can delay labor under stress!! Yes, they are special at my job.

There was a surprise shower for me yesterday (missed you SP). Some people ruined the surprise for me. I really hate when that happens because I love surprises. There was a mix up with the dates and one lady brought me a gift yesterday apologizing for not making it to my shower the week before. That's when I knew something was actually in the making. Just that morning I realized I only had two weeks left and I hadn't even planned anything for myself, and I really didn't think anyone was planning anything for me. So I was there feeling somewhat sorry for myself and all forgotten when this lady came and ruined my surprise. Not longer after she left another girl said something about having something to give me at my "thingy" later. That made it worse cause then I knew when it was happening and based on the person who made that statement I knew who was throwing it. I had to complain to hubby cause it aggravates me when people don't pay attention. How could not have known it was a surprise whether it was for me or anyone. If it was for someone else I would have been just as upset. Anyway 10:30 pm came and I was still sitting around waiting for hubby to finish some meetings and then we headed home. I figured they must have changed something because there was no way they were going to keep a pregnant lady out on the road away from her bed so late at night. Boy, was I wrong. Hubby made a detour and took me straight there. It was really nice and I was touched by the gestures of love. This little baby girl surely won't lack love, that's for sure. We had a good time with games (which I thankfully didn't have to participate in but watched from my 'throne' in the corner, haha), and there were snacks and drinks and food and presents. A great effort was put into decorating the room where we were. I was/am very appreciative of everything that was done for me and my family. I couldn't have asked for anything better.

I'm still waiting for the rest of my pix, Shawn, I'm not holding out, trust me! :) And, you know, I don't know what I was thinking offering that woman my book. Just trying to be nice, I guess. I try to give mankind the benefit of doubt but more often than not I am left sorely disappointed.

Teasers

The Silhouette


Abstract Outline

Baby Update

No news yet. Still waiting. 15 days to go. Weekly doctor visits til she's done baking. Did I mention that I'm 160lbs now?! I'm exhausted these days. Late nights. (Seemingly) long days at work. Although, since I heard that the powers that be don't care if my app comes out in Dec or Mar my mind has shut down and I haven't been too productive the past two days. I'm so glad the weekend is almost here. I just want to go to bed. It'll be nice when the baby gets here and I can take off work. I get six weeks off (and a pay cut because we don't get maternity leave, we have to take disability leave). Of course, I still won't be getting enough sleep but at least it should be less mentally draining. Hubby will be around to help so I won't go stir crazy for adult interaction. Maybe Auntie Mocha will make it down to help change some diapers??

Another Pet Peeve

Don't you hate it when you lend people things and they don't give it back? I should have learned my lesson when I lent this guy in college some books for a class and they did come back but they were all tore up. But no, I still lent another guy my absolute favorite Calculus book (yes, I had a favorite Calculus book) and up to this day he doesn't know what happened to it. And even after those two experiences I still went and lent somebody a book. I offered the book to her no less!

I was reading Sula a few months ago and there was a lady I would see in the mornings sometimes. We came in opposite entrances but we made it to the elevator about the same time. Well, she saw me reading the book and asked me about it and went on to tell me how it was recommended to her by one of her friends. Ok, cool. When I was done with the book I brought it with me thinking why don't I lend it to her so she can read it? So I did. She thought it was a nice gesture and said it was perfect timing because she was about to go on vacation and she could read it then. We formally introduced ourselves and off we went. I got off on the 2nd floor and she went on up to the 4th. There are only four floors so how could she not find me when the time came to return the book. Should be easy enough, right?

A few weeks went by and I hadn't heard anything from her. Not that I was anxious to get the book back, but it's the principle of the thing.

A few more weeks went by. Still nothing. During that time her company moved out of my building and into one next door. I glimpsed her once but I wasn't able to get to her at the time. And I haven't seen her since.

Now, you would think that since I offered the book the least she could do is bring it back to me? If the roles were reversed I would go out of my way to make sure whatever I had would be returned to its owner, regardless of the worth of the item.

Is it just me?

Labor Day

Of course I don't have any stories to tell about this past weekend. It was, thankfully, quiet. Watched Hurricane starring Den.zel, slept, slept some more. It rained quite a bit. Felt like a lazy weekend. It's getting more difficult to get comfortable, but that's to be expected, I guess. The dr checked me on Friday and said I'm not ready to deliver yet but I'm getting "ripe." I didn't ask for an explanation. lol. My next appt is this Friday. The due date is less than three weeks away. Work is...work. Still too much to do. I'd hate to leave them hanging but the baby will come when she will. It's not so much leaving them hanging as much as it is my co-worker will have to take on my responsibilities for awhile, and he doesn't know anything about what I do. This week is mind-meld week where I'm supposed to get him up to speed. Ok. Sure. Anyway, Tues night I had some pictures taken - real pictures. Once the photographer uploads them (and if they look decent) I'll post a link. K and Sid were there too so I let them take some pix with me. :) It was an okay experience, I must say. I would have been better if it wasn't at the end of the day (8:30 pm) but I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would have been. Granted, I didn't know how to pose but we made it through. We took over 125 pix in less than two hours.

I know, it's late. I'm going to bed now. G'nite.

Pet Peeves

One of the things I can't stand is the "whole world revolves around me" syndrome, especially when combined with the "I'm the victim" mentality and the "manipulate by guilt" trait. How does one person have all three characteristics AND a stank attitude to boot?? Unfortunately, for whatever reason, some people have to remain in our lives. Maybe these trials are to make me stronger? More patient? More understanding? I don't know. I do know how aggravating and stressful our interactions are. I try to keep the frequency to a minimum but that's not always possible. It takes me a while to think of responses and I'm usually in shock that I'm being confronted at all. To the other person this may be perceived as admission or agreement which it never is. I don't want to say the wrong thing so I don't say anything. I have to work on that. By the time I do have time to come up with an appropriate response I don't want to bring up the subject again. And it becomes a cycle. Wonder where/when this became a part of me?

The Inconvenience of it All

Update: The dr's office said that once you've reached 36 weeks, you're expected to go to the hospital if there is a hurricane. The hospital said that you only come in if a hurricane warning is issued, and even then make sure to call the hotline number first for instructions. They also said no family members are allowed - no husbands, no children, no anyone. Well, it's looking like only a tropical storm anyway which is good.

If Ernie decides to keep his hurricane status and keep coming my way then I may have to check into the hospital tomorrow evening. And I'm pretty sure that would mean no kids allowed, including Sid. How could I be expected to be apart from Sid with a hurricane passing through and me not be there to comfort him if he gets scared? I could be jumping the gun because I haven't even called my dr yet to find out what he wants me to do. I do have almost four weeks until my due date. Ok, I'll call him before I start worrying.

Feeling A Bit Overwhelmed

My feet are swollen.
Someone stole my bike.
Sid has to be at school by 8:00 am.
I haven't been getting enough sleep.

And then there was...me

Words of Wisdom

I live in a cube farm. Sorry, I work in a cube farm. There are about 13 of us in this room and the walls are chin high - when you're sitting down. Needless to say there is almost zero privacy. But that's not what this post about. Every now and then my boss likes to come out and stand by my cube (the podium) at the front of the room and share his gems of wisdom. I'll give him his props - he's not a dumb guy and he knows how to politic. In the past he's said things like, "If you want to know the health of a company, follow the money," "It's all about perceptions," and "With change comes opportunity." In today's spiel he encouraged us young'uns to write down our past experiences because as we get older we'll remember less and less of them.

That made me start thinking a bit about the things I did in my youth. I'm talking about 20 years ago. That's a looong time ago. The one thing that stuck in my mind were the times that my cousin and I would go bike riding around the neighborhood. Well, we didn't just go around the neighborhood but that's not important right now. My cousin S is three months older than me so we were very close. Her younger brother, on the other hand, is a couple of years younger than us. That, coupled with the fact that he is a boy, did not make fun times for him back then. The times that he was around S and I would try to get out of the house without him knowing - but he always heard and would come running after us. We would then jump on our bikes and take off. He would scramble for his and then he was on our tails. We always got away. The fun for us was in the running. The chasing was not fun for him however. We either didn't realize or didn't care or a bit of both. A few years ago he let me know how much it bothered him the way we treated him back then. I apologized from my heart. I really was (and still am) sorry.

I've been quite busy doing some pretty geeky things lately. Not that I mind. I love to learn. I don't know where to start and I'm still in the midst of things but I can give you a quick rundown.

I'm very active in my church. On any given Saturday good luck if you find me sitting in one place for more than five minutes (I can usually go about 1/2 hr during the sermon until some "fire" erupts that I have to put out). All of the geeky stuff I've been working on lately has been directly related to my duties at church - trying to retrieve data from a harddrive, transfering domain and email hosting, and upgrading our website. This in addition to creating a budget and proposal for my department, sitting through lengthy church board meetings, editing our newsletter, working on announcement newscasts, and preparing for Communication & Technology Day, which happens to be this upcoming Saturday. My husband does the capturing and video editing of the services (at home) so I have my part to play in that too. After this Saturday, when the day is finally over, and I know I don't have to go back up on the platform, my stress levels will stabilize. In the meantime, I barely have two more days to go and I haven't written my editorial or my welcome or my introduction of the speaker yet, among many other things like doing up schedules, committee member packets, blah, blah, blah.

At work, I have a project due on Nov 1, nevermind that I'll be out in a few weeks. That means I have to do as much as I can by the end of this month and hope I still have time to handover whatever is left.

Plus, did I mention I'm having a baby? I went to the doctor's yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to choose a date. He said a lot of families do it for the convenience. I'm sitting there thinking, he's asking me if I want to decide when I want to go into natural labor?? That's not something I want to think about and work towards. Let it happen when I don't expect it. Basically you choose a date and the day before, if you've been having minor contractions or braxton hicks, and if you're dilated, then the next day you get admitted to the hospital and you get pitocin to induce labor. Umm, no thank you. First of all, I have not heard anything good about induced labor. Secondly, my family doesn't need the 'convenience' of knowing where I'm going to be beforehand, they can find out when I do. Maybe some women would prefer the select-your-labor-day option if they need to make plans for childcare and husband taking off work, but I don't have to think about that. Fortunately I have enough family and friends, and co-workers even, who can pitch in to make things work. So I'll pass on that offer, thanks.

There are not enough hours in the day.

Don't laugh because the only thing I can make these days is chicken pot pie. Hubby asked for it so I made it again. So there!

What's Up With You?

I'm here. No baby yet. She's not due til Sep 23. I know, that's less than two months away! Am I ready? You bet. I wanna see her and hold her and hug her and squeeze her. And I sure am ready to take a break from work and the daily routine. Sid is still adamantly telling people that she's his baby. lol. Her name is still up in the air. I'm rooting for Shelby. Some love it, some hate it. Hubby frowns at it. He's voting for Courtney as is my mother. My mother says if I go with Shelby she won't call her by that name. Yeah, right.

Speaking of boys, stepson is in TN right now visiting his aunt and he doesn't want to come back. Why? You know why - he's in l.o.v.e.! Unfortunately he has to come back to his life here in SFL.

No news from Uncle yet either. He says he only checks his email on Sundays. Ok. Two Sundays have past since the first 'hello' message I sent. No response to the letter I wrote to Aunt either. Hmm.

I had a dream last night that I met Mocha and Nikki. Is there anything to that? Are they headed my way or am I going on a road trip? (I love road trips but these gas prices are no joke! My little V6 took $45 to fill up yesterday. When I had my gas-guzzling Beamer five years ago it used to cost that much. Prices have DOUBLED since then. I can't imagine having to pay $90+ for gas at least once a week. I wonder what the mileage is for a Honda Odyssey minivan?)

Poor hubby - the company he works for has been indefinitely absorbed by it's parent because the money wasn't coming in fast enough. They let almost all of the sales guys go. Being as he was the one making the appointments for those guys I don't know what all this means for him. Of course, he had a dream a few days prior that there were only three people working in the office - the two owners and himself. Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing.

I finished "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston. I thought it was pretty good. I tried starting "Beloved" by Toni Morrison but it's taking me a while to get into it. In the meantime I also finished "Red Dragon" by Thomas Harris, the author of "Silence of the Lambs." It was ok. I liked the twist near the end. I haven't given up on "Beloved" but I'm taking suggestions of other books to read.

Oh yeah, the new bed is great. I don't know what to do with all the room I have!

Random thought: Why doesn't everyone iron their clothes before coming to work? I'm not saying that if you wore something already and you're wearing it again it necessarily has to be ironed even though you know it has those "I've been worn before wrinkles." I'm talking about those "I was folded and put down and not even folded properly, see my creases" kind of wrinkles. How do you come to work like that?

Finally!

We're FINALLY getting a new bed! With a frame! All courtesy of my mother-in-law (she's the sweetest). It's scheduled to be delivered this Thursday. I can't wait to go to bed Thursday night! (hehe) Our old bed, is, well, old. It's a queen-sized bed that sags all over. When you move it moves with you. My husband had it way before we got married five years ago and we never got around to replacing it. The new bed on the other hand is a firm KING.

Everywhere I look in my house I see things that need changing. The new bed will be screaming for a bedroom set and I don't blame it. There are a lot of mix-matched pieces in my bedroom. We'll need new sheets too of course, but Macy's is having a sale (as usual) starting Thursday so you know that's where I'll be Thursday evening after work. The television in our room is small but it still takes up too much space. A flat-panel LCD hanging on the wall would be much more efficient. As for the nest of cables behind the television in the living room - what can I say about that except that it needs to go. A proper wall unit is in order. Then I'll have somewhere to store my CDs instead of in my bedside table. But the wall unit will have to come after we repaint the living room. I have a red couch (sort of the color of ketchup) so I have to find something that will complement it.

********************

My mother spoke to one of my uncles last week and he told her that he had just come back from vacation. When she asked him if he came to Florida he said no, Vancouver. I don't know if he meant to say it or if it slipped out before he realized what he was telling her, but we all know that's where my father is. He admitted to seeing him and he apparently told him that he has a grandson, for which my father was supposedly excited. I couldn't bring myself to call my uncle and ask him my questions myself so I emailed him instead. We'll see if he responds.

M-eril Ain't Got Nothin' On Me!

I told you I would keep you updated as to my cooking endeavours. Last night I attempted chicken pot pie and profiteroles for dessert. The recipe said it would yield six servings so I halved the ingredients but still ended up with two 9" pies. I even improvised a bit. My main issue at the end was that I didn't halve the bay leaf so it was a bit overpowering, just a bit. You should have seen me though, poaching chicken and mixing veggies, stirring chocolate sauce and squeezing dough.


The first picture is deceptive because I didn't make the pie crust, I bought it - but that's what the recipe said to do!


This second picture, as if you couldn't tell, shows the inside stuff, which is what I did make...from scratch.


Here's my baby eating away indiscriminately. He would have told me if it wasn't good but he ate the whole thing. Yes, he eats everything except peanut butter, so he's easy to cook for.


Last Sunday I watched Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network and her pastries looked so good and easy to make I had to try them. Granted, I read the recipe incorrectly and set the oven temp at 475 instead of 425 so they came out a leetle bit overbrown. But they didn't taste burned. Hubby asked for seconds so they couldn't have been that bad.

SP and BDaB, you would have been SO proud of me!




Mama Update: My mom's is alright. She survived the night without having to call me. Her biggest upset is that her $300 PDA is gone and she doesn't want to spend another $300 to replace it. BDaB, as you mentioned in your comment, I too envisioned my pregnant self breaking the glass hurting that boy! I don't care if he wants to be lazy, but how dare he infringe on another who worked so hard to get where she's at. (My feelings for squatters are just as strong.) After she banged on his window and he started to drive off she ran back to her truck to grab her cell phone thinking she'd have enough time to take a picture, but you know how that goes. She would have been better off trying to memorize the make/model/license number. The gas station had at least one camera which of course didn't capture anything cause it was pointed in the wrong direction.

What would make little ole me want to punch somebody in the face?

I can't stand to see defenseless people get preyed upon. My mother stopped to get some gas this morning and you know the cars these days - there's no way to open only one door short of fighting to get the little lock up - well all the doors were unlocked and her purse got stolen from the passenger seat. She saw the guy just as he took it and she ran after him (ya'll don't know my mother, she's crazy). He jumped in his car and started banging on the window. Fortunately he drove off instead of possibly shooting her right there (this is South FL, it could definitely have happened). This all happened right smack in the middle of the day. She called me about 12:15 pm and the poor woman was frantic and upset about the nerve of this guy taking her stuff. Her life was in that purse. And her brand new PDA. I helped her find some numbers and she called to freeze her accounts, blah, blah, blah. I don't know she's going to sleep tonight. He has her driver's license with her address on it. Before today she was intent on leaving; now she can't wait to sell her place and get out.

No Drumroll Necessary...It's another random post

Edit: The 'ney' at the end wasn't intentional but it doesn't hurt, plus we do like the fact that both names, Sidney and Kourtney, are unisex.

******************************

Ok, belly pix will be coming. Why do I have to chase hubby around with a camera to get him to take of picture of me?? lol (Brill could add that to his list of 'why' questions.) :)

No, I have no clue why my OB assumed I'd be tying the ovarian knots. Of all the words he spoke to me, that statement alone was almost half the word count!

No lunch adventure today. A bunch of us ordered from the overrated Lucille's cafe. The food is never above average but the price tag always is.

I know I said I wanted a name that started with an 'S' but hubby and I can't seem to agree. Since we must learn to sacrifice for *cough* love *cough* I think I've found something to satisfy us both: Kourtney Cassandra (and possibly add Morgan to the end of that). Bear with me on the spelling, that's still up for discussion. Hubby's name begins with a 'K' hence Kourtney. (I considered putting a silent 'S' in front of Kourtney, but SP duly threatened me. just kidding, I was only kidding.) Cassandra is my middle name so my vain side is somewhat satiated. Morgan could stay or go for me - what happens to it depends on hubby. He's used to having four names plus a last name so Kourtney *only* having three is nothing.

Btw, I know she needs no introduction but I've finally added Miz JJ to my blogroll *sigh*.

Now I'm All Sore And Achy!

I felt like having a chicken philly from Charley's Steakery for lunch today. The nearest location that I know of is at least a 15 min drive from where I work. But then someone told me that the Sawgrass Mall had one. I checked online at both the Sawgrass site and the Charley's site and they both said the same thing. So, I ventured out onto the open road with the threat of rain at every turn to satisfy my hunger for something non-foofoo (foofoo food is what we call the food around here that you pay a lot for but is generally overrated). Anyway, I got to the mall and found a parking space that wasn't a foot under water and parked. When I went in I knew exactly where I was going based on the map I had studied before leaving the office. But alas, Charley's was nowhere to be found in the Garden Food Court. I thought, hey, why not take the walk and check the other food court. It turned out to take a bit longer than I anticipated. I walked and walked and walked (say 15 mins) only to find that it wasn't in the other food court either. Miami Subs almost got my business but I decided against it and opted for Sbarro. So dejected was I! I sat alone and ate my pizza til I was ready for the trek back. I almost treated myself to some Haagen Daz ice cream for all the effort I put into finding this non-existant place, but the $3.20 price tag for a small cone deterred me. (Yes, BDaB, things change even as they stay the same.) I manuevered my belly through the crowd of people who don't even know what side of the mall they should be walking on - everyone outside of SFL knows that you keep to the right! I found my car easily and returned to work by 1:50 pm (note: I had left at 12:30 and the drive is only 10 mins each way). I did end up rewarding myself with a twix though.

It's interesting that in books the villain almost always speaks perfect English. Is it because the person doing the speaking means to give off an aura of superiority and likes to boast his intelligence? (This has nothing to do with Nikki's post nor the comments that ensued, trust me.)

Went to the doctor's yesterday for a regular pregnancy checkup and after making me drink some nasty glucose syrup we listened to the baby's heartbeat, he measured me, and then he told me I have a "slight hernia." He asked if my belly button always stuck out like that while he pushed his finger in. It's always been a partial outtie, I told him. He then asked me if I was getting my tubes tied cause they could repair it at the same time. HA! I told him the same thing I told my husband - that I'm willing to have more but if hubby is done then he needs to do something about it.

Of course, when I finally got to work I looked it up. If I really have one it's an umbilical hernia. They don't get better, only worse, and have to be repaired with surgery. Now I'm paranoid that I'll laugh too hard or sneeze and my intestines will come out. lol. Gross thought, I know, sorry.

Cooking

I've never been one to cook. My mother always only wanted me to focus on schoolwork so I was never forced to stay in the kitchen. Fortunately, hubby is an awesome cook always willing to experiment and his food much more often than not comes out very good. I, on the other hand, don't like to experiment cause the food never comes out the way I envision. And heaven forbid anyone try to give me any tips while I'm in the kitchen. That just adds to my stress and the food comes out even worse. Because of this I've never been inclined to try, but lately my co-worker has had my mouth watering. She very recently started cooking and every day we talk about what she made the night before. She's so excited because she's actually liking what she's making and the foods she chooses rarely take more than an hour to prepare and cook. If she can do it maybe I should try. It couldn't hurt. Not really.

It's a blessing that we've made it (happily) through five years of marriage. So many marriages barely make it past the second year. I never had a doubt that we would make it this far but it can make a girl nervous when she hears of couples "growing apart" and divorcing after 20-30+ years. On the flip side, it is quite encouraging to attend 50th anniversary parties. Saturday was our actual anniversary. After church in the evening we dropped the kids at their grandparents' house while we went to J. Alexander's for dinner. I suppose we could have picked them up afterward, but why? Instead we went home, I put on a cute little outfit to waddle around in and we chilled watching tv. The next morning was (you guessed it) pancakes at Grand Lux. Uneventful, I know, but quiet and kidless - a respite from the daily grind.

***************************

The boy and the girl are the same. The oldest boy is still in TN. Since he turned 16 last week he's trying to secure a summer job. Won't he be surprised to hear he won't be keeping all the money he'll be making. The girl is still acting up at home yet she was 'rewarded' with being allowed to go on a trip next Sunday to the Orlando area. Hmm. nyabg asked when it all started with her. I don't know when it started but from I've known her I've seen signs - I've seen her switch. Asking her about her behavior always results in a blank stare and sometimes monosyllabic responses. SP suggested I read some books on being bi-racial because maybe she doesn't know where to fit in. Ok, well I've started reading Rebecca Walker's autobiography, "Black White and Jewish" just in case it gives me a much-needed insight.

Shawn asked if there was any meaning to how I reference my husband's children. Could be, but I usually refer to my own son the same way when I say things like, "I have to go pick up the boy from school."

***************************

Thank you to everyone who commented on my brow post, esp. to those guys who said they looked fine before being done. :)

***************************

So, lets get this straight, on my father's side there are four brothers and a sister, only one of whom I've met. One brother is Mocha's dad, another brother is A's dad, a third brother (the one I've met) has children I've never been able to see in person. The sister lives in Jamaica. I got her address not too long ago but have finally sent her a letter this past Friday. I don't know what she'll make of it. I'm sure it will be a surprise - hopefully a pleasant one. Maybe she'll even write back.

Sort of Peer Pressure

Update: Do-it-yourself threading info here. Trust me, you really wouldn't want to do it yourself cause until you're proficient it hurts. But at least you can get an idea of the process. Here is one lady's experience.

*********************

I got my virgin eyebrows threaded today at lunch. In the past 32 years I've never waxhed, trimmed, or noticeably plucked my eyebrows. My husband and son have near-perfect eyebrows which I don't think is fair so when my co-worker said she was going to get hers touched up today I agreed to go with her. I had gone before but only watched. Today, I sat through my teary-eyes and almost clenched fists while the lady worked on me. It wasn't too painful to bear but I did wonder what I was really doing there sitting in that chair. Here are a couple of before and after pix. I'm sure you will agree the new brows are an improvement over the au naturel look, although the polished look will take some getting used to.

The original that was me this morning.


I hardly recognize myself now!

I never thought I would feel protective of my husband with respect to his own children. I mean, really!

The one boy has the nerve to say in his father's presence that his absentee mother is his best friend next to God. Ok, I understand the phenomenon where kids hate the parents they're living with and the one who's not around is perceived as the 'good' one. I can almost live with that despite the fact that I don't like it.

Then there's the girl who is a habitual liar for reasons unbeknownst to me. On the one hand, when she's with us, she makes out her mother to be the monster but when she's there she portrays her father as mean and restrictive. Which, he's never mean to her, but he does enforce rules of cleanliness and proper conduct. He can say one word to her and she'll do things her mother can't get her to do with any amount of yelling. Anyway, last weekend was the girl's birthday weekend. Her father never heard from her. We both called and left messages, emailed, went and knocked on the house door sat & sun nights. You can imagine his concern when no one was able to contact anyone in the household, and esp. consider the fact that every weekend (at least for the six years I've been in their lives) the girl comes over to our house. If she can't make it for whatever reason she always calls or she tells us when we call to arrange to pick her up. This past weekend was inexplicable. And when I found out the extent of her lying and manipulativeness I got so angry. When we finally reached her (about 8 pm last night) K drove over to her house ready to confront her mother only to find out her mother was not the problem. It's too much to get into in one post but just saying that the girl erased the messages left on her mother's voicemail gives you a clue.

It's been four weeks since SP turned in her resignation. I almost can't believe that her last day has come already. It seems quick to me but I'm sure to her it dragged out much too long. But regardless, it's here, and soon she'll be free. I hope she keeps us updated as she goes through the next transitional year of her life.

And speaking of time flying, I guess I'm nearing the six-month mark. I'm really starting to waddle now. With Sid I didn't have any aches or pains but with this one, sheesh, I can barely use my legs. Is it because this pregnancy was bound to be different, or, as SP enjoyed reminding me, is it because I'm older?

Interesting Meme

Got this one from nyabg.

List up to ten (10) things you want to say to ten (10) different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any "comment speculation."

1. I wish you knew how beautiful you are and believed in yourself more.


2. Grow up and be a real mother to your daughter. She should be your priority, not whatever man happens to be living at your house. Your pre-teen daughter is not your shoulder to cry on. Get a life and meet some decent people.


3. I have really enjoyed working here but fortunately I don't have to work anymore so here is my letter of resignation.


4. You're such a b*tch.


5. I love you. I need you.


6. I love you. I hope you never forget me.


7. We seem so different. I wonder how close we would have been.


8. I miss what we had.


9. I am so glad you don't live anywhere near me. At least I stay out of trouble.


10. There's so much I wish I could tell you and talk to you about. I wish you were a part of my new family. You would have loved Sid and he would have been crazy about you. I miss you.

Memorial Day Weekend with the P's and R's

I barely remember getting out of the car this weekend. We spent at least 20 hours in the car - literally. Friday we drove to Albany, GA. Saturday night we drove to Atlanta. Sunday night we drove back to Albany. Monday we headed back to FLL. Can you say, "Glad to be in my own bed?"

************

I did something quite out of character yesterday that I pondered for hours afterwards.

We made the obligatory Memorial Day stop at Macy's in Orlando yesterday on the way home. Walking into the building K was in front of me and Sid and my mother were a few feet behind me. K held the door for me and I was going to hold the door for the rest of the crew. Before they got there two other ladies got to the door before them. I was holding the door anyway so I kept on holding it. The first lady said thank you and held it for the next lady (they were together). I was really waiting for Sid so I didn't move from the door but instead kept holding it open. The second lady was a bit older. She didn't say thank you as she came through but she sort of smiled so whatever. What got me was that she was oblivious to the fact that there was anyone else around. She walked through and practically let the door hit my kid who wasn't even two steps behind her at that point. My demeanor changed immediately as you can imagine and my sarcastic side came out. Normally I would have just been exasperated but I would have kept my comments to myself. Not this time. Instead I said, "Thanks for holding the door for my son." She asked me to repeat myself which I did. She claimed to not have known he was there. They were the only four people withing 50 ft of each other and they were all walking towards the same door. How could she not even do a shoulder-check before letting go of the door? I could have gone off on her about my loss of faith in humanity and the self-centered, self-absorbed nature of north americans, but I didn't bother.

I felt bad about it later. Not about saying something but about not explaining myself. She left with the misconception that I have "chip on my shoulder." I know because she said as much. She knows I heard her but I didn't say anything. I was really surprised my mother didn't go off because she's always been a firecracker.

Was it worth it? In the end I was still exasperated.

************

I finished reading "The Da Vinci" code. All I'll say right now is that I thought it was a good read - definitely a page-turner.

It's My Birthday, It's My Birthday, Go ShellyP, It's My Birthday!!

Today has been chock full of surprises. I've gotten well wishes from so many people that I would not have expected to hear from. I even got an email from Mocha's mom which dang near made me cry considering I've never heard from anyone on my father's side of the family on my birthday before.

My Sid came and told me happy birthday first thing this morning, which, of course, made my day. My husband had a Cadbury Fruit N Nut chocolate bar hidden in the car. I got phone calls and emails. It was nice.

At work I was treated royally. SP baked cranberry scones with love and brought them in for me and everyone else to enjoy. The lunch location was up to me so I chose Grand Lux Cafe (I swear I was gonna get the pancakes) but with a 45-60 min wait we opted for Cheesecake Factory at the last minute. They were able to take us (a party of 11) right away, which was great. (Unfortunately we lost three people in the transition - they didn't check their messages in time to find out the change of plans.) I had a full-sized portion of the Louisiana Chicken Pasta which, of course, I couldn't finish. But, true to form, my gluttonous co-workers forced me to order dessert. I chose the key lime cheesecake. As a matter of fact, all except one person ate dessert. After lunch I came back to a shiny apple on my desk (no, get your mind out the gutter - I was not playing teacher) and a bit later there was a card.

Maybe I'm getting old and sentimental but these seemingly little things mean a lot. I'm such a sap!

Change of Plans

The people we were supposed to be staying with this weekend are going out of town. That leaves us without accomodations. And in Orlando, decent accomodations are not cheap. We were almost resigned to our fate of being stuck at home (at least 2/3 kids would be gone) when my mother saved the day - kind of. She was supposed to leave for Toronto this weekend but her plans got postponed. Instead she'll be visiting her "2nd home" in Albany, GA, and also spending a day in the ATL. She's looking for company, hence new plans have emerged. My mother was going to rent a car but I need new tires. Aha! She agreed to get me new tires!

********************

I was reading a depressing article on CNN today. Every time I think that things can't get any worse, I hear something like this. A friend of mine asked me yesterday if there is anything that I find disturbing. The story of these women would more than qualify.

The Week Ahead

I finished reading "A Fly On The Wall" by Trista Russell. It was a good read. It's about a teacher-student relationship. Much better than her first book. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be starting "Da Vinci Code."

This weekend we're hoping to head to Orlando yet again - the annual trip for the kids which just happens to more often than not fall on my bday weekend. (Do I sound bitter?) This year, however, the kids are old enough to go with their peers. That means an almost kidless weekend. I'm sort of looking forward to it.

Say It Ain't So!

AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ok, I knew it! My girl - Danielle - is America's Next Top Model!

I said it. Just look at her. She deserved it. I almost thought they were going to make it a tie cause I would have been happy for Joanie too if she won.

As for American Idol, Elliot was bound to get the boot. Excellent vocals but he lacked in personality.

**********************

Been so tired lately. Pregnancy and having a cold don't mix too well.

When did going to McD's become so difficult? I rarely go there but last Friday I went for lack of being able to decide on something else. I tried to order a #8 with a lemonade (no ice).

1. Why did the lady add an extra drink to the order?


2. Why did the same lady not understand me when I asked her what sauces they had?


3. Why did I have to repeat myself four times??


4. Why when I asked for honey sauce did she give me caramel?


5. I thought speaking or at least understanding English was a requirement for jobs here in the US. Was I expecting too much?

**********************

May 25 is on the way!

Semantics?

Obviously I don't understand the meaning of the word 'illegal'. How is it that people can come here and demand that we change our rules to accomodate them? To do that would be an affront to all the people who actually got their status legally - myself included. What am I missing? I've been listening to this debate for the past few weeks and I still don't get it. And as for this wiretapping business, it totally blows me away. B.ush says "we know what's best for you." WTH? 2400+ military men and women killed so far, uncountable injured physically if not at least mentally, no diplomacy with respect to international relations, and playing big brother with our lives - citizens of the United States! Do we live in a dictatorship or a free society??

How much of your privacy are you willing to give up for the sake of "national security?"

It looks like a GIRL!!

So far, me and my vain self have suggested 'Shelby' and 'Victoria'. K says her prefers 'Morgan'. I said ok, her name will be Shelby Victoria Morgan.

Let's just say I'm taking suggestions for names that preferably begin with an 's' and end with a 'y'.

I was in no way implying that the boy does not have good points. I'd be lying if I said he didn't.

So many factors. So many issues.

Gig said it right when she said my post reminded her of a typical teenager. We are born selfish and I don't know anyone who likes to be bound by a higher authority. People will kick against the prick just because they want to and not necessarily because of something at home. On the flip side, I don't know any household without their share of problems, my own being a typical example.

Talk, yes, we're doing better with the talking. I'm trying to help K come up with an activity that both he and Jr can do together that would give them some alone time and hopefully encourage some type of dialog. For myself, I realize that in marrying K his son became my son (sort of). Jr and I used to talk more when he was younger during drives to and from school. Now we barely see each other, literally, but I still try to at least play mediator, as mothers are known to do, with the father being mainly the disciplinarian. It's a learning experience for everyone involved.

******************************

The other day a friend of mine out of the blue told me that I have beautiful eyes. Gotta say I miss BdaB. He was always good at boosting my ego.

"So much trouble in the world"

Well, at least in my house.

Life has been so busy lately. I know that's everyone's sob story so I shouldn't feel like I'm so special. lol.

Last Saturday the 15 yr-old was caught driving the car of a lady from our church. Can you say 'ballistic'? Yes, that was my husband. Then we found out the boy dang-near groped one of his female friends that he's known since elementary school. She was more than upset and tried to get her fist to connect with any part of his body but his reflexes are quick so he got away. She flung some words at him though to give him an idea of how she felt about what he did.

History.
The boy and his father have had issues from before I met them. This boy's mother lives on the other side of the country and didn't (seem to me) to fight enough to keep her son (that's a whole other story - too much drama to recount). Anyway, the boy is trying to be independent which is fine but his father expects him to learn some responsibility along the way, which is also understandable. When the boy bought himself size 38 pants (his waist is 31 btw and the pants are even too big for his father) his daddy almost threw them out. Instead he actually let him return them to the store for a store credit. The pants issue has been going on for about two years now, although I think the boy has finally gotten over it. In the meantime, he has three chores that he can't seem to do consistently (wash the dishes, sweep the floor three days a week, and put out the trash two days a week). Oh, I forgot, he has to do his own laundry and clean his own bathroom. What a rough life this child leads, wouldn't you say? He, of course, feels he's on lockdown despite the fact that every weekend after church he's going to someone's house for lunch, plus he goes on church trips and school trips. The one time he was told he couldn't go to the mall at 8 o'clock on a Sat night with a bunch of guys older than him he decided there was no use in doing his chores. A few days later we all sat down and had (what I thought) was a pretty good discussion about the whole state of affairs in our household. Sometime following that discussion is when the aforementioned grope and car incidents occurred. That is why his father went 'ballistic' on him, becuase here we thought things were maybe going to get better, or at least stay the same, but not get worse like endangering others' lives by driving someone's car or disrespecting someone and their personal space.

The rest of Saturday was a wash with hours of extended family discussions as aunts and uncles got in on the act. I thought it was productive and this week has been better. I'll keep you posted.

****************************

Oh, and for the record, I would not ask for a pic of my ex's wife. I don't need to see her that badly. I've always known what church they go to but I've never cared enough to even pay them a visit. Que sera sera. We're fine just how we are.

Birds Of A Feather...NOT

My ex-fiance was a wonderful guy. I'll give him that much. But he was immature in a lot of ways. (Not to say I was the most mature person considering how long I stayed in that situation.) Or maybe 'country' would be a better word. He was too ragged around the edges and lacked refinement and even simple manners sometimes. I'll never forget the day I introduced him to a girlfriend of mine. She had come up from Jamaica and her cousin brought her by my house to say hi but they weren't going to stay. I went out to the car and told her I wanted her to meet my fiance. He was sitting on the couch in the living room watching tv, I believe. Anyway I brought her in the house and he didn't stand. I'm hard-pressed to say he even offered a handshake. To me, that was embarassing. In general, he swore he was smooth. He liked to put on an air of overconfidence that's hard to explain; he was vain. Then he went to another extreme, getting overzealous in his Christianity, IMHO (became a vegan, wouldn't shave, etc.). In the end it was still hard for me to break up with him. Actually, if you ask him he would say it was mutual. Uh huh. I returned his ring once and he begged me to take it back which I did. Before I returned it the second time I wasted time trying to make sure the split was mutual. Maybe the time wasn't wasted. Maybe sparing his feelings was the right thing to do? I don't know. It was a learning experience for both of us, that's the best I can say. He's been married for a few years now and I rarely see him which is fine. I have never seen his wife and I know it's a girl thing but I want to see what she looks like. Go figure.

Have a good weekend!

ANTM

Hubby's girl, Nnenna, is gone. Too bad. She started off strong but she not only did she NOT improve, she didn't even remain as good as she was. I think Danielle and Joanie will be the top two. Joanie takes some amazing pictures and is very versatile (to use Jade's word). Danielle is consistenly beautiful but not as versatile - her look is usually the same - statuesque, regal.

With the ding dong quote I was referring to "Ring My Bell" by Anita Ward. Sorry if I stumped you.

****************************

I was accepted to Spelman College as a freshman but I would have had to move to Atlanta by myself. At 17 I wasn't ready to venture out just yet so instead I moved to South Florida with my mother and attended F.A.U. (which us students used to joke stood for "Find Another University"). How did that choice affect who I am now? Could I be more vain and elitist than I am? lol

****************************

I knew I didn't love him. My twisted logic was that he was a good man who was all into me and I could be a good wife to him. According to my mother we fought all the time. I didn't notice. I did notice that a lot of times I found myself almost embarassed to be with him in public. Not a good sign. We made it all the way to pre-marriage counseling. At one point we had individual sessions with the counselor. He asked me straight out if I loved the guy and I told him no. We talked a bit more and, of course, he told me I shouldn't marry him. So, I didn't. I was 24 years old.

Contrast that with my current situation. I met K and within two weeks I knew he was the one for me. I didn't tell him. I waited and waited to see something I couldn't live with or tolerate but I never did. Six months later we decided to get married and three months after that we were married.

****************************

American Idol - Who's going home?? I'd say Kelly or Taylor.

Me and my main 3 yr-old squeeze

See more of him here.

Taken 4-24-06

See my babies! And soon I'll have another!

Bothersome

Singing Bug

One of the things that bothers me is when I take the time to write out meeting notes or technical explanations and make sure to send them to everyone involved only to have people ask me questions a few days later. I don't mean questions for clarification or content correction, but questions that are answered in the material I sent out. If you need information I send you, why not read it first before asking me any questions? If not then it defeats the purpose of disseminating the information in the first place! How frustrating. And when I refer the person back to the email I sent I'm almost made to feel like I shouldn't be, that I should be fine with repeating myself.

*******************************

Riding to work this morning I couldn't get Ding, dong, ding, bellll! Ring it! out of my head.

*******************************

Yesterday I found myself reflecting a bit on my past and any regrets I may have had or wondering how things would have been different had I opted to go any of various other routes.

*******************************

(Modified from Chele's Version) 6 Not-So-Wacky Things About Me

1. I am a nervous wreck if I have to do anything in front of a group of people, yet I forced myself to take Drama I back in high school. I survived even though the final required us to perform solo. The class has NOT helped me in life.


2. I don't have a problem with my man watching pornos as long as he doesn't try to hide it. (Not saying he does or doesn't, of course.)


3. I was engaged for two years to a man I didn't love.


4. I used to say I wanted to have children without going through the pain of childbirth. In other words, I wanted to have C-sections.


5. I used to want to be a judge without having to be a lawyer first. Now I know I'd rather be a lawyer because I love to argue (no smart comments BDaB), although I don't know how that would work considering #1 above.


6. Another one of my pet peeves (besides needlessly having to repeat myself to lazy people or those without adequate reading skills) is people who drag their feet when they walk.

I know I'm late. I've been stalking her for months now and only recently started commenting. I check her blog at least once a day, sometimes twice. I know you all read her already. I know I'm the last one to add her to my blogroll. It's Nikki, y'all!

******************

Pregnancy is fine so far. The headaches have subsided quite a bit. Pretty uneventful otherwise. No throwing up (although I did have to run to the bathroom once in the middle of eating an egg on cheese bagel for breakfast). Been feeling kind of gluttonous lately. Just had a 6" turkey sub for lunch, a bowl of fruit sort of for dessert, and believe me I still want to eat my yogurt! Anyway, I think I'm beginning to feel the baby moving inside me now. Pretty cool. I love being pregnant.

******************

ANTM - I was surprised Jade was in the bottom two because of her fakeness. I thought it was going to be Sara. Brooke, of course, I knew had to go. She claims she's not a crybaby yet she's always teary-eyed. Whatever. Maybe Sara will go next week. How do they really expect her to be passionate? They went to her not the other way around. Oh, and Nnenna needs to leave her man. She is obviously not feeling him anymore.

Options

Do any of you do any options trading? I went to a seminar last week and hubby got the investing bug. He's dabbled in it before and didn't do too badly. Now he's interested in options. Any recommendations on books to read or websites to check out?

I KNEW it!

Yes, I said it first that Leslie was going home! Poor thing. Nice pics. Not enough skills. Oh well. See ya, Les! Next week will probably be Sara unless she somehow finds herself and makes proper use of her height.

For the record, I only have one biological son (for now). My husband has a 15 year old son who lives with us and an 11 year old daughter who lives with her mother. That's why SP said if I had a girl then I'd have two of each gender.

It's Been A Week

I don't have any excuse for not posting, I just haven't. But I heard from a couple of people today (in particular Mocha Girl and BdaB) who indirectly motivated me to get up and say something.

My next ultrasound isn't for another four weeks (if I can ever get an appt). I've unsuccessfully tried three times to make an appt but each time "the computers just went down." Should I be looking for another doctor??

'Everyone' says I'm having a girl this time but what do they know? I've come to grips with the fact that I'm partial to boys. Maybe having a girl will be good for me. (As soon as I know the gender, you'll know the gender.)

The deadline to file taxes is upon us and I have a couple of things left to input. Usually I take care of the taxes. This year is hubby's turn. I'm taking a break. He just tells me what he thinks he needs, I tell him what he does need, and somehow one of us finds it.

Work is uneventful. I've been reading up on AJAX and DOM and Javascript. It should be more interesting to me than it is. I'm not really feeling any work right now. If I wasn't trying to save my time for after the baby is born I would take a week off. BUT, Mocha may be coming down sooner than expected. If she does, I'll finally get to meet her!

American Idol? Not much to say here. Gotta wait and see who gets kicked off this week.

ANTM? I felt sorry for Mollie Sue. She doesn't come off like a model but she's really pretty even without trying. Tonight I'm guessing Brooke or Leslie will go.

Too Sexy For My Job

So I'm sitting at my desk (yesterday), having a good hair day, constantly looking out the window and wondering what I'm doing here. The weather is absolutely gorgeous outside and me and my cute self are stuck inside. The world needs to see me but I have code to write!

The pic you see here was taken yesterday evening outside of Lowe's. Hubby and I want to repaint the living room so we were looking at paint swatches. If you look closely you'll see my belly button poking out. (This weekend I'll be four months.)

Oh, I haven't updated you lately on the rats. You may remember that we caught one a while back. I think it was last week that we caught another. I heard a lot of rustling and then K was calling me downstairs. We had left out some traps cause we knew there was at least one critter left. Wouldn't you know one got stuck on the glue trap with all fours! It was trying to get away but of course it couldn't do anything but make noise. It totally grossed me out. K took a mop and a broom and smooshed him in the middle. Then we slid it to the front door and used a shovel to pick it up and put it in the trash bin (fortunately it was garbage day). I thought that was the end of it until the next day we started to smell something funny. About a week before we had finally put out rat poison as a last resort. Something ate it all up and we believe that's what we've been smelling. Every day, as long as we're home, the windows go open and the candles are lit. I think the smell is almost all gone now.

A Grand Lux Cafe opened up nearby. It's a sister restaurant to the Cheesecake Factory. Amazing menu. I picked up something there for dinner last Thursday but I wasn't too impressed. I usually love chicken pot pie but this one had way too much butter. The creme brulee on the other hand was excellent. Hubby said it was too eggy but whatever. So anyway, we decided to try going there for breakfast one day. One day ended up being this past Sunday. We had brioche french toast, perfectly fluffed pancakes, an omelette and hot chocolate. Again, I was less than impressed. My favorites were the pancakes and hot chocolate. As we were eating these huge portions of food I got to thinking about how excessive we are in this country. So much goes to waste unnecessarily. We have a culture of greed and that carries over into everything we do. When I visit other countries it's not this way - it appears that people live to live, as opposed to living to exceed like we do here. Maybe I'm just oversensitive seeing that I live in superficial South Florida.

***********************************

I really enjoy the benefits of being pregnant. It's nice to be catered to, to not be expected to do anything. At church the ladies are always finding young men to carry my load for me. When I go somewhere I'm always offered a seat. People's expectations of me are lowered, and that's nice sometimes. I can eat as much as I want without being harassed. I'm expected to rest a lot. No one wants to be the one to stress me out. Even with my cute belly hubby still has a healthy appetite. Not to mention my breasts are swelling. Hubby keeps looking at me and making comments. I told him that since he likes them so much maybe I should get something done. He just laughed. He didn't say no though. Hmph. I know I'm biased towards this whole pregnancy thing because I haven't had any real complaints. Not the first time around and so far not this time around *knock on wood*.

***********************************

Having a 15 year old stepson without common sense and not having many female friends for various reasons made me think (again) about our mental capacities when we're born. If some people have a knack for mathematics and others the arts, who's to say people aren't born with a natural inclination towards logic or otherwise? (Try to follow me here. I'm beginning to confuse myself even though it made sense in my head.) I'm trying to understand why some people just don't have sense. Or why some people are "ditzy." Why does someone become a genius? If you watch the wannabe models on ANTM, for example, even as they're all taught the same thing they don't all have the skill and talent and brains to make proper use of the knowledge. And no matter how much you teach, skill and practice can only get you so far. How do you teach someone to have innate ability? You can't. So, with that said, how much can we really expect from the less logical of us? Why even bother getting upset with them? I know, their inability to make intelligent decisions cannot and should not prevent them from reaping what they sow. I know we still have to try to teach in hopes that at least one person will "get it." We can't give up. I'm just sayin' it gets tiresome.

Motivation

I attended a motivational day-long seminar this past Wednesday. A bunch of people from work went and I managed to get a ticket through a co-worker's wife (long, convoluted story). There were some big-name speakers there (Zig Ziglar, Steve Forbes, Jerry Lewis, Suze Orman, Don Shula, Rudy Guiliani, Colin Powell). There were a couple of other people who I had never heard of before (Krishna D, Phil Town, Tom Hopkins, Peter Lowe). I won't bore you with my observations but I will give you a few highlights of the presentations that stood out.

1. Tom Hopkins was a top real estate salesman, selling a house a day for a year. He explained a bit about the art of effective questioning, and gave us some words we should never say. Question Form 1 is the Tie-Down: Ask a question that demands a yes, i.e. "We're having fun today, aren't we?" Don't use more than two of these in a presentation. Question Form 2 is the Inverted Tie-Down: Ask a question that suggests a yes, i.e. "Aren't we having fun today?" These can be used freely. Question Form 3 is the Alternate Positive: Ask a question that assumes a yes, i.e. "I'm available next Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. Which day would be better for you?" The point of these questions is that the minor victories in getting people to say yes to you eventually lead up the final victory of closing the 'sale'.
   Words never to use and what to use instead: buy - use own instead; contract - use paperwork/form/agreement instead; sign - use endorse/OK/approve instead; price - use investment instead; downpayment - use initial investment instead.
   I bet that the next time you talk to a salesman you'll notice him using some of these techniqes.


2. Suze Orman is a leading finance expert. She talked about how to make more out of less. She said everyone should have a will AND a living revocable trust with an incapacitation clause. When you make any large purchase, like buying a house, it should be put in the name of the trust. If there are two signatures on the contract and one person becomes incapacitated, then the person left will still be able to sell the property if necessary. She also said that if you own a home, make sure you find out exactly what your home insurance covers in case your house gets totally destroyed.


3. Four-Star General Colin Powell. This man had an amazing presence. By far, his was the best presentation. I can't tell you what he talked about exactly, but his face stays with me. I was very surprised at how personable he appeared and how funny he was.

*****************************

ANTM - I am SO glad they got rid of Gina! It's too bad she sucks as a model because with makeup the girl is stunning. Every week I'm surprised by Danielle. She is probably my favorite. Nnenna is my husband's favorite. She takes some excellent pictures. Joanie surprised me. She hasn't stood out for me until this week.

*****************************

My father's side is all black as far as I can tell. Everyone from his parents on up were born and raised in Grenada (maybe Mocha Girl has more info on this line).

My mother's side is quite diverse. My grandfather was a white Jamaican. His parents were some mix of Scottish/Irish/etc. My grandmother was an indian Jamaican. Her grandparents were from India. It is to them that I attribute my luxurious and sometimes bothersome hair. *Aside* Mocha, I'll make sure I shave my legs before you get here but I'm notshaving my arms! :) *End aside*

Have a great weekend, everyone!

I've been feeling quite antisocial lately. I know that's no excuse for not talking to my peeps, but I really haven't had anything of interest to say. I could tell you that I thought Jade tore it up on ANTM last week. She really redeemed herself. I was shocked though when they let Kari go instead of Gina, esp since they said all that crap about Kari being moldable. I could talk about American Idol but that's not exciting enough yet. When they get down to the top six, then I'll be at the edge of my seat. Hmm, nobody wants to read about work, do they? I've been stuck in documentation-hell for the past month and I'm trying to get out. But everytime I think I'm done "they" decide there are more enhancements/clarifications/corrections to be made. *sigh* As you can guess I did not make it to NY. That turned out to be for the best because I had to fork over $240 so far to get my AC fixed. Plus, I finally did something I've been contemplating for a while - I got rid of my unsightly upper lip hair! Yes, and I did it myself without wax. Ms J from ANTM put me over the edge when 'she' made fun of Danielle's mustache. My grandmother used to use Nair for as long as I can remember. She always told me that if my hair started to grow never to get rid of it because it would just grow in thicker. Oh well, 20+ years later and I'm putting her advice to the test. Sorry, BdaB for having to wait for you to leave to get the courage to try this. Thank you for being my friend anyway. :) My next endeavor is to get perfect eyebrows like my husband who was unfairly born with them.

Hey All!

Thanks for the well-wishes and for bearing with my absence. I've been busy, but not an interesting type of busy. You probably already read from SP that they laid off someone from our department. Apart from that it's been work as usual. Sid and I have been sick all weekend. He's on day two of his fever. I want to go to New York next weekend. My great-grandmother's niece passed away and I think it would be a perfect opportunity to meet a whole line of family I've never known. I'm reading Chele's book, Raymond's Daughters. I don't know if it's cause I'm pregnant or if the writing is just that good :) but I've found myself almost moved to tears a couple of times so far. One of my fave shows right now is America's Next Top Model. Last Friday I found myself defending the women of our department to the men, swearing that we look just as good as those girls on ANTM. We do! I also told the guy who just married that we were the best looking women at the reception. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have said that? His reply was something about me being confident but he seemed to take it well enough. Oh well. What can I say. I'm not taking it back now. Speaking of pictures, in a few months I'm going to get some pregnancy pictures taken. One of my co-workers is a photographer and he takes awesome pictures. Anyway, I'm starving now. Gotta go feed the babies! Later.

Here's The Latest News!

11 weeks and 6 days
Length: 5.3 cm
Heartrate: 160 bpm
Due Date: 9/23/2006

This is the last one....

Ok, I know I'm belaboring the point, but when Shawn suggested I tell the guy I have a pic, little did he know that I actually DO have a picture of the half-eaten cake. lol. Click on the pic for a closer look!


I promise, promise, promise that tomorrow I'll have a better post! Trust me!

I decided to ask my coworker yesterday about the cake incident to see his reaction. I didn't do it in a confrontational way; the conversation went similar to this,

ShellyP: Hey, RK, something curious happened at the wedding.

RK: Yeah? What was that.

ShellyP: Someone took a piece of cake. And it was at W's seat right after you left. Did she take it?

RK: I don't know. I'll have to ask her.

ShellyP: The bride was pretty upset.

RK: What time did they take pictures? (Note: He left at 11 pm.)

ShellyP: 11:30 pm.

RK: 11:30 pm? (He asked incredulously.)

ShellyP: I didn't want to think it was you guys. Cutting that cake was not a good thing to do.

RK: I'll have to ask her. I'll have to ask her if it was her or JW's wife. (Note: JW is our boss!) Sometimes W does things that she shouldn't.

blah, blah, blah, whatever

The rest of the day he spent making sure everyone knew that he was basically drunk before the reception even started and he didn't really anything that went on. Yeah. ok.

It Was A Nice Weekend

The wedding I attended was beautiful. SP was there and it was good to see BdaB and his wife again. Everyone from our department was there looking great. It's a nice change to see another side of people.

The wedding was scheduled to begin at 6:10. K and I zipped in, initially behind the carriage then manouvering our way into a spot, at 6:15. Fortunately the ceremony started at 6:20. It was a simple sunset wedding. I was just glad we weren't the last ones to arrive. Some others arrived with us, after us, and some even missed the ceremony entirely! By 6:35 it was done. Yes, it was a 15 minute ceremony! Not bad. While waiting for the cocktail area to open up we ran to Walgreens to pick up a card to go with the gifts we bought the day before. I know what you're thinking and you're right - we procrastinate way too much! We made it back while the mixing and mingling was still going on. It was an open bar so people were quite "toasty" before the reception even started.

The reception was fun. There were toasts from the best man and matron of honor. Then it was time to eat. I like that, not too many preliminaries to keep the people from the food, which was served buffet style.

Of course, how many weddings do you know that don't have some sort of drama? I thought this one was going to go off perfectly until 11 o'clock or so when SP called me over and showed me something I couldn't believe. She pointed to the groom's cake. I looked and there was a piece missing - the front right corner was cut out! Then she turned me around and showed me who had been eating that cake, which was left half done. It was someone from our department and his guest. They left a few minutes before she showed me. This wouldn't have been half as bad if they had cut the cake after the official cake cutting had taken place, but it happened before.

How could anyone have so little class as to cut someone else's wedding cake?? I shouldn't even say "so little class" because really they had NO class whatsoever. I was quite upset about the whole thing. All I could think about was how we could hide it so that the bride wouldn't see it. I suggested that we tell the best man. While SP was finding him, the matron of honor came over with another lady and they looked at the cake and were obviously discussing what to do. They took the bridal bouquet and laid it up against the missing corner. I was temporarily relieved until I saw them bring this whole thing to the bride's attention. Needless to say, she was visibly upset. That made me even more upset that they told her. Didn't they think about the fact that she still had pictures to take!

Other than that it was great. A memorable occassion.

Holy Matrimony

I have a wedding to attend tomorrow night. One of my co-workers is getting married. He invited the whole office! Good for him. When I got married I only invited my friends and family. lol. I really like attending weddings. I love to watch people in love making vows to each other. At least for that moment I believe they are sincere. Anyway, going to weddings makes me think of my own wedding (of course!) Not the perfect one I plan to have, but the perfect one I already had. Ok, it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn close, especially considering our limited budget.

Garden setting: We didn't get married in a church. I found a place in Kendall (South Miami) that had a beautiful courtyard setting. The florist even hooked us up with a bunch of free flowers because the wedding after hours had already paid for their flowers which just happened to match the colors in my wedding.

Colors: The men wore white suits, including the groom. I wore a modern, sleeveless, slim/trim-fitting white dress. The women wore long wine-colored spaghetti strap dresses.

Treats: Being an outdoor wedding I thought it would apropos to provide bottled water and chinese wooden folding fans, both with our names and wedding date on them. Believe me, they were put to good use.

Invitations, etc: I thought I was so slick doing my own invitations and programs. I designed them and produced them all on my own. When I look back at them now, I still think I was slick!

Timing: This was my only problem. Not mine exactly. I was there way early. So was the groom. The guests were all ontime as far as I could tell being stuck in my bridal prep-room. SP was there helping me keep my sanity. All I wanted to do was run out of the room and get married but the in-laws were over an hour late AND they had the Bible-bearer and flower girl with them. The wedding was supposed to begin at 10 am, before the sun got too hot. Needless to say, by 11:30 people were hiding behind trees, drinking water and fanning themselves.

Entrance: It's all about the entrance and that day it was all about M.E. You better believe it. That had to be the first time in my life that I wasn't nervous being the center of attention. In my mind, I walked out there like a queen. When it came time I recited some verses from my favorite love book of the Bible, Songs of Solomon. My groom then replied with scripture taken from Proverbs that speaks of finding a virtuous woman. I was so proud of my little production. Cameras were flashing, people were staring, and I was IT. Yes, yes, we were it.

Service: The service went smoothly. It was just hot, oh, so hot.

Reception: Being as we started so late everything had to be rushed. That was fine with me. We took some quick pictures and then it was time to eat. When we were introduced I had tied us at the waist. We've been inseparable ever since. Some friends did some beautiful renditions and we blew bubbles for more pictures. The food came out in no time. Classical music was playing in the background. Before I knew it it was time to pack up and head out. And that we did. We took all our gifts and drove to the west coast of Florida, Naples, for our honeymoon.

I know it seems I'm tooting my own horn here. But that's because I am. :)

Have a good weekend!

Often when I'm riding as a passenger I look at all the cars around me and the windows in buildings and think about all the different types of people that make up this world. Every day just driving to work I pass hundreds or thousands of people. Looking up at one apartment building I'm looking at the homes of thousands of people. I wonder what their lives are like. They must have problems like I do. Are they just as bad? Are they worse? Are they not as difficult to deal with? Of course, all are true. I just wonder.

I was reading the news during lunch today and I came across this article: "Mishaps, misunderstandings can be friendship killers." I must admit that I thought of SP and her current "friendship" as I read it. A couple of things stood out....

B. J. Gallagher, author of the book "Friends Are Everything" said, "We tend to judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by actions. We have a double standard: We let ourselves off the hook when we feel innocent, but if somebody else does the same thing, we don't give them credit for the same good intentions."

How true is that?? I couldn't have said it better myself.

This is often the root of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, Gallagher said.

I know a lot of people won't agree with this other statement of hers though....

You should still apologize for something that appeared wrong even if your intentions were innocent. "You can still apologize for the impact of your bahavior" even if you're not sorry for the behavior itself (emphasis added by me).

I've heard many a person say, "I don't have to apologize. I didn't do anything wrong." So? It goes back to self-centeredness and not being willing or able to look at yourself objectively instead of subjectively.

We all have to live on earth together. Why not make your corner of the world a pleasant place to be?

Pet Peeves and More

Yesterday during lunch the topic of accountability came up. That has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves - people who act like nothing is ever their fault. It's right up there with the people who say "amen" in church cause they just know the preacher is talking to someone else in the congregation. I have to keep my contact with the aforementioned people to a minimum. It boggles my mind that a person can do x which results in y but then swear it wasn't his/her fault. A know a few people like that. They never look at themselves. They never look into themselves. They make comments like, "I know I'm not perfect, but..." If they really believed they weren't perfect then they would be open to constructive criticism and maybe even take heed of much needed advice. This pet peeve goes hand in hand with the people who resist change because, guess what, they don't need to change. They expect things to change but they don't do anything to facilitate the change. That is insanity, people! If you keep doing the same thing over and over you will always get the same result.

Oh, here's another one (Shawn, you should be able to relate to this considering what you went through with GPM recently) - what about the control freaks / manipulators who act like you should be conforming to what they want? They tend to use guilt to make you do what they want you to do.

Okay, enough venting. I just got a text message from SP. She's in Puerto Rico. She'll be in Anguilla in a couple of hours. I am so jealous!

Stunner: Don't worry about them notes. Once you graduate and start working things'll be so much better. You'll spend your days poring over specs and writing requirement documents and isn't that just so much better? lol

I saved the best for last: See, Mocha Girl isn't the only one who can show off. I have a new cousin, Mia. Take a look. Feel free to leave comments on how beautiful she is!

My little man had a birthday last Friday. He's 3 years old now!

*******************************

I don't know who's holding out on me, if it's Mocha Girl or her brother, but somebody needs to give up some pictures of Mia.

*******************************

I'm anxiously awaiting a package from Brotha Buck. I know he'll be sending it just at the right time. :)

*******************************

I see Chele picked up the "mother and father-in-law" thing. It's not a thing really. My father-in-law was going to NY to help his daughter move to Tennessee. My mother hadn't been to NY since '69 so she just went for the ride.

It's a good thing I didn't go. My mother and I don't travel well together.

*******************************

"The Other Woman" - It was an okay read. I find myself wanting to read the classics more though. I enjoy them more. It's a combination of writing style and storyline. It's hard to find contemporary books that have both. So, TOW had a good enough storyline and an ok writing style but nothing that left an imprint on my mind. If you want an easy read, something to take your mind away, then it's good for that. Lately I feel like I'm wasting my time when I read books like that though. This weekend I finished "Going Broke" by Trista Russell. Not as good as TOW but I had to keep turning the pages til I got to the end.

Bright Lights, Big City

My mother is heading up to New York with my father-in-law. I wish I could go with them! If I had the money and the time I would go. I have so much family up there on my grandmother's side that I haven't met yet! The last time I went it was for a conference for work and I went alone. The time before that was with my first fiance (long story). I loved the hustle and bustle. The city is alive at every hour of the day. When I went alone I roamed the streets at night. I toured Macy's - it is awesome. I caught a Broadway show - Beauty and the Beast with Toni Braxton which was really, really good. I took in the various characters around me. I talked to strangers. It was a great experience. I used to claim the title of "City Girl" but I can't say that anymore. I don't have the energy or the impetus to be out and about unless it's for a specific reason, like when Mocha Girl comes to visit, of course. :)

Happy Valentine's and all that jazz

To all the people I love and appreciate, this Valentine's Day is for you! All of you out there who take time out of your day to peek in on my life, I do appreciate you.

********************************

I spent the past two days laid up in bed, literally. I've had some sort of sinus infection. Not nice. I skipped work yesterday to get more much needed rest. I love Mondays off.

********************************

With nothing better to do besides sleep, I read "The Other Woman" by Eric Jerome Dickey, that SP lent me. Now I'm waiting for her to get Chele's book. If she TOLD ME that she was going to order it I would have had her order one for me too. :p Ok, maybe she did and I forgot. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

********************************

Today is the day my cousin's wife is being induced. Yup, they're having their love child on the love day. I can't wait to see pix. Mocha Girl, you gotta hook me up!!

The Naivete of a 15 Year Old

This one really grates on my nerves and I debated whether or not to blog about it due to its sensitive nature. But here it is, as vague and specific as I can make it while still trying to get my point across.

Background
I know a man who has a 15 year old son. From what I understand the parents have joint custody, however the son was made to live with the father (they were together until the son was about 4). The mother lives on the other side of the country. She was ordered to pay a minimal amount of child support, which she has paid maybe once in the past 11 years. The mother is a few years older than the father, putting her in her early 40s.

Ok,

1. I would fight tooth and nail to keep my son.


2. If I lost the case, there is no way I would move 1500 miles away from him.


3. If I had to move, I would maintain phone contact and see him every chance I got.

Present
This now 15 year old talks about his mom being his best friend next to God. That noone understands him like she does except maybe his dad's mom. He actually let his father know this. He calls her just about every weekend (thanks to free long distance on the cell phone). Since I've known him, I haven't known his mother to call on a consistent or even acceptable frequency level. But maybe that's just me. Maybe my expectations are too high. Anyway, I digress. It really irritates me to no end when I heard this child talk and make constant excuses for his dead-beat mom. She's not working and is living with her grandmother(?). Does he not see something wrong with that scenario. Does he not wonder why he's not living with her? Yes, he's a child. Selfish and simple-minded. He talks to his mother once a week and she's the "good, reasonable" parent, the one who understands him, the best thing since sliced bread. His father fought to keep him, is raising him on his own dime not asking her for anything, and is considered strict and "unfair." I have to bite my tongue when I hear him speak. I say what I want to extol the virtues of his father but I hold back all the things I would love to say about his mother. It's not my place. It wouldn't be right. He wouldn't understand anyway. I only hope that when he grows up he sees and understands.

Random Randomness

K went out and bought a couple of rat traps this evening. He's setting them up right now down in the kitchen. I don't even want to hear it snap but I hope I do cause that means something's caught. Last night K stuffed an old t-shirt in one of the holes we're sure they're coming through. Wouldn't you know they took the whole shirt down the hole!!

*************************

This evening when I came home K and I flew a kite down our dead-end street. You should'a seen us! Two old fools runnings down the road trying to catch a breeze, in the dark, in 50 degree weather!

*************************

I got a call from an old friend today. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw an email in my inbox from him yesterday. I hadn't spoken to him in about three years. We were just friends. He's cool people. Funny thing, him and my husband have basically the same initials - KAP (hubby has a couple more middle names).

*************************

Brotha Buck, I sent you an email last week. Let me know if you got it.

Shawn, I've been trying to comment on your latest Tap post but the browser keeps crashing right at the point the comment dialog comes up. That happens quite often for me when I visit your site. Anyway, I was only going to say, "Wow, that's some serious stuff. If you loved dancing so much you shouldn't have stopped. But you did what you felt you had to to move on. I just don't like to see talents going to waste."

Unwanted Houseguest

No, not a mouse. It couldn't be that trivial at my house. It has to be something bigger. Something more complicated. Something more dangerous. A RAT. There is A RAT living in my house. How do I know? Because hubby saw it in the kitchen this morning! At first we thought there was a mouse getting in and eating our bananas (the first time we noticed this was friday morning). We plugged up what we thought was the hole. But, lo and behold, last night, UPSTAIRS, JUST OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM, by the a/c unit, there were wall shavings on the ground. That rat gnawed at the wood of the closet door and he gnawed the paint off the wall right down to what looks like metal. Needless to say, the exterminator must come today. We only have a three bedroom house and on weekends there are five of us who live there. We don't have room or food enough for anything else.

Lord, have mercy!

There's a reason why I don't like to be in charge - because I don't like working above people. I much prefer to work as a team player alongside my peers. I don't like having to tell people what to do. Why? Because 1) they don't do it right, which could easily be attributed to my not clearly articulating what it is I'm looking for; or 2) they don't do it at all because I don't keep the pressure on. I try, I really do try, to make myself clear. I'm not a woman of many words and I don't believe I should have to coddle an adult. I don't know how to beat around the bush - I either say something or I don't. I can't ease my way to my point. If I call you for a reason I'm getting right to the point and then I'm gone. I have enough relationships to maintain than to make everyone feel like I'm his or her friend. My bluntness doesn't make me good at dealing with dissension in the ranks either. And I don't like having to pull rank. I expect everyone as adults to work together and git 'r done. My logical mind can't handle the emotions and the egos. I just don't have the patience for it. I'd rather just be one of the worker bees and leave everything else to management.