The Body Shop

I've really been thinking about becoming a consultant for The Body Shop. It's something I could do parttime. I really, really love the products. I've attended a GNO (Girls Nite Out) and I've hosted one at my house. I think I could do what the consultant does...even though I'm shy. This could help me overcome my shyness too, maybe. And I like what the company stands for.

Hosting is fun because the host(ess) gets free gifts proportionate to how much money is spent. Of course, the consultant is the one who actually does the demos and gets the money. For $200 in sales, the consultant makes $50. The lady who did my GNO said she loves the flexibility and that's the only job she has and she makes enough. A GNO lasts about 1.5 - 2 hours. I'm just looking for side money right now - anything to supplement our income. The initial investment is $250. That includes lots of products to use in the demos.

Hmm.

A Typical Weekend

I'm used to Saturday's being busy so I wasn't surprised that this weekend wasn't any different. Saturday morning, I was in charge of giving out 400+ lesson quarterlies. It went smoother than I expected. Right after Sabbath School we rushed out to another church only to make it just in time. I was only going because my girlfriend's baby was being blessed. As we walked in the parents and kids were just going up on stage, but my girlfriend was nowhere to be found. It turns out they (her, her husband, her baby) were still on the way. So, we waited. And waited. They eventually turned up and baby Kaylah made her grand entrance clutched in the arms of an 'embarassed' daddy.

Now, this church is not known for late endings, but someone had it in for us that day. The sermon didn't end til about 1:15 pm. That means that with all the hubbub going on surrounding the baby and the lunch plans and everyone wanting to congratulate the parents, we didn't get to the lunch spot (at the park) until 2:30 pm...and we were the second set of guests to find the pavillion. The food wasn't ready until 4:300. Yes, you read correctly. It's a good thing the proud daddy walked with some snacks otherwise we would have had to leave on Sidney's account.

I didn't mention we had a 5 pm meeting back at our home church, did I? Well, we did. And we were fifteen minutes late. And we were reprimanded (I hate when that happens). The meeting itself was short but we still didn't get home til after 8 pm. Of course, church was far from over but we had to go.

Apparently, I attended a blog party Saturday night, but I don't have much recollection of it. I must have had a good time. Thanks to Diggs for throwing the birthday bash and inviting me.

Sunday morning I was up bright and early - 7:15 am. I had promised the Pastor's wife I would print some Bible quotes for display at her Prayer Breakfast scheduled to begin at 8:15 am. 10 am they let us eat and I just about RAN home and back into bed.

Should I mention I was back at church for a nominating committe meeting at 8:45 pm? Nah. Fortunately, the meeting was cancelled due to a lack of a quorum

Now I'm here with nothing blogworthy to write, but writing anyway.

Jinny, good luck on your interview tomorrow!

Good Friday

I decided to take the day off to "be with my fambly." Most other people have the day off but our company doesn't give it to us. So it's logged as a vacation day. Anyway, I had all these grandiose plans of revamping my bedroom. What did I do? Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch. I feel pretty unaccomplished, but I did get a good rest. AND I got a really nice white suit. K will be ordained next Sabbath as a Deacon at our church and I have to wear all white. The thing is, we thought it was happening tomorrow at 5 pm we're running to the mall to try to find me a white outfit. K's mother let me try on the one she wore when her husband was being ordained, but it was a little on the too-big side for me.

Purfiktgurl will be visiting me soon. Yay!

Blogroll, etc.

I've added a few read-worthy blogs to my blogroll (see sidebar).

****************

Soo, I have to be more assertive. That's what 'they' say. I have to learn to look for opporutnities to take advantage of, open doors to walk through. Being assertive is so unlike me. I know, it stems from a general lack of confidence in my abilities. I always said I could sell BMWs though. I can assert myself if I'm doing something I really believe in. I'm going off track. That's another issue. refocusing I can start anything but if it doesn't keep my interest I fizzle out. What to do at work? Find a niche. Do something new. Do anything.

****************

Been in a melancholy mood lately. Too much stress in my life. At least I got my cost of living increase.

It's Time

Now is the best time to make a change. Insanity is constantly doing one thing but expecting different results each time. My life has been rolling along at this 'comfortable' pace for long enough.

1. I have a friend who wants to write a book. I want to write a book too. Maybe a novel. Maybe a non-fiction introspection type of book. Maybe poetry. I'll either need a small notebook for jottings or a handheld tape recorder. If only I had a topic...There's nothing I can say I really know about. Hmm. Suggestions?


2. If I really want to get Sid into modelling, I'll have to send out more pictures to various talent agencies.


3. My room MUST be reorganized, cleared out, cleaned, whatever. Something has to be done. It is such a disaster area. The rest of the house can't be done til my sleeping space is complete.


4. I need to work on ad copy for our supplement store website PLUS I want to redesign the main page. This will take a few hours out of my life, but it needs to be done asap.


5. I need to invest in my own digital camera. Bogarting my mom's camera is not working. I want to be able to have an online garage sale on ebay. There's got to be someone who'll buy my junk, I mean stuff.


6. My departmental report is due this weekend.


7. Think positive thoughts!

Somewhere along the line my "things I need to change" list merged with a "todo" list. I'll have to modify / append to it later.

Blogger Identity Crisis

Something is going around and I'm trying not to get it. I'm fighting it with all my might. But it seems that some of us are having a blogger identity crisis. There are a few reasons why I started blogging:

Call me a crowd follower, but it was a new thing for me. I'm a self-professed wanna-be nerd, so even though I knew I was jumping in after the wave, I still wanted to get a piece of the action.

I thought it would be cool to have my own personal soapbox, a place in the world for my voice. I could write whatever I want. This part however proved to be difficult. I didn't want to put myself out there in case people I know read what I wrote. Then they might know too much...I still believe that anything that you wouldn't want to come back to you at an inconvenient time should not be written down.

I figured I could write to my friend, Purfiktgurl. Email was fine for its purpose, more direct. In my blog I could talk to her indirectly. Email would be saved for private explanations.

...That was then.

This is now...

Those reasons still exist but in addition I have increasing desire to write for the people; to nurture a blog family. Not necessarily writing what they want to read, but to at least make sure that what I do write is considered read-worthy. This is what I'm really fighting. I want this place to remain my little space for my little voice to say whatever.

Sooo...I'm going to keep it random.

Whatever I feel to write, I'll write. If I have a message to send, I'll send it. If I have information to share, I'll share it.

*******************

About to start reading "Emma", on loan from a co-worker to whom I lent "Crime and Punishment." It'll be a long read (over 400 pages) but I'm determined to get through it.

Loves Lost

I think the title speaks for itself...

In high school I saw this guy visiting a girlfriend of mine and I immediately had a crush on him. He was tall and slim and white. (Toronto is an extremely cosmopolitan city. Mixed couples of varying races is almost the norm.) He had the bad boy look. He was not the GQ type. He was rough around the edges. Believe me when I say he had every color Kangol cap you can think of! My best friend and I would follow him around the mall sometimes. He would so know that we were following him! Yes, I was a stalker. Nothing ever came of that 'relationship'. Can't quite figure out why not.

Ahh, my second boyfriend, Steve, now he had potential. I was still in my rude boy phase and he definitely fit that category. He wore baggy clothes (ok, he was skinny so everything looked baggy on him). He was tall and had beautiful dark smooth skin. He was so sweet to me. My mother would never have approved our relationship. He was a hustler. Not academically-inclined. Very independent. I would have loved him if he ever grew up.

My mother moved to Florida before my last year in high school. I stayed with my grandparents. One week when I visited her I happened to go roller-skating with a group of kids from a church she was attending. That's where I met H. I was young, he was only a bit older. I skated and eyed him the whole night. Finally, he skated over and asked me, "Are you lookin at me, or am I lookin at you?" I was dumbfounded that he even noticed me. We skated together holding hands during the last song. My hands never sweat so much in my entire life! I'm not one for long-distance relationships but I tried to keep this one open when I went back to Toronto. We called each other quite often (probably too often for my grandparents' liking since they paid the bill). I was hoping he would be there when I moved down the following year, but he left to go to school in Alabama. That was that. He fell in love with someone else. He was my first love lost.

My first year of college I met a guy I thought was very nice. On a whole, I suppose he was. He lived on campus. I didn't. We attended the same church. We had a couple of classes together. I was really feeling this guy. My mom (as usual) didn't too like him. Didn't matter. Apparently his mother didn't like me either, I later found out. Anyway, he acted like he liked me, but it took me two weekends to find out he had a girlfriend at our church.

Another friendship that that began in my freshman year of college had the potential to be my second lost love. Let's just say, he had a vice he wasn't willing to give up for 'us' so 'we' became 'he'.

I was engaged once...for over a year. Here's a tip: If you're engaged over a year, I'll bet the farm you don't really want to be with the person you've chosen. Get out before you waste more (of both of your) time. Not sure what I was thinking with this one. Everyone knew he wasn't for me (including me and, of course, my mother). According to my mother, we were always fighting. I wasn't in love with him either, but he was (is) a really good person. Not a love lost, but we learned a lot from each other. I credit myself with making him a better man for his current wife.

I've potentially had at least one other lost love. But it was one of those deals where you're young and you have a large circle of friends. You kinda like one but someone else works hard to get your attention and you give it, only to find out later (at the wrong time) that you're first interest really was diggin you too (and still is). Not a nice situation to be in.

***************

Just finished reading Tom Sawyer Abroad. Very easy reading. Waste of time? Not exactly, but far from the best book I've read. What's next...? Hmm, let you know later.

I went to a wedding yesterday...

And this is the dress I wore. The attire was supposed to be semi-casual, but how can you go to a wedding dressed semi-casually when the bride is all decked out? Of course, I wasn't the only woman to deviate from the mandate.



It was a nice wedding. The ceremony was held at a country club, at 5 pm in the evening. I was glad I brought my sunglasses cause that sun was bright and shining directly in my eyes. So we get to the spot and of course we have to first find our meal cards then sign...the book. You know, the dreaded guestbook where you have to write something nice and inspirational and considerate? Yeah, that one. I wrote something about the big day and wishing them the best, blah, blah, blah. We were then lead to a patio. There our guide showed us a ribbon and told us to follow it to the stairs leading down to the pool. What? Follow a ribbon? Fortunately it wasn't far. From there it did get better. There were golf carts waiting to take us to our seats. Yes, the bride showed up in a golf cart too. The hardest part about it was trying to stand on soft ground that thought my heels were tees, so they kept sinking in and coming out muddy. The ceremony itself was short and sweet. We returned to the pool for appetizers: lamb, spinach pastries, and chicken pastries. By then it was getting cool so we went inside before the festivities began. The food selection included snapper, filet mignon, and a vegetarian dish. I had the fish. Eh, it was ok. Fish, rice, and asparagus.

A note about our table: man, it took some time before they warmed up. For a while there K and I were kind of despondent cause our table was the deadest. K, with his love for conversation, got the others to loosen up. The table company turned out to be fun enough. I ran into a mutual friend of mine and the bride's. Her and her mother really helped to liven things up.

By 10 pm were ready to go. We still had two kids to pick up before heading home, and we were yawning all the way. It's tough when you're not used to going out, but it was still a nice kid-less evening out. And that, in itself, was cause for celebration.

Pampering Revisited

I'm still trying to get my husband to let me pamper myself. What better way to appreciate myself and extend my life than to treat my body good. But how?

Number 1 on my list would have to be the classic massage. Nothing compares to laying down in a dark warm room, with or without music, your eyes closed and feeling the magic of the hands. My husband should be the one, but if he won't then...I'll fork out the dollars for it.

Laying on the beach is definitely up there on the list. The great thing is that it's FREE. But the timing has to be just right. Get there at noon and it's all over. The noon sun will burn you up. Get there at midnight and the water is black and uninviting but the moon reflections make for an amazingly romantic setting. 9 or 10 am is perfect for enjoying the beach itself.

I can't leave out getting my hair done. During storytime in elementary school there were a couple of girls who used to like playing in my hair. That used to relax me so much. I felt like I just let everything go and my mind was at rest. Sitting in a salon for four hours is nothing close to relaxing, except for the part where my hair is getting washed. That almost brings me back to my first-grade years.

I thought about adding manicures & pedicures, but they don't do it for me like the other things I listed. Don't get me wrong, I like to have / see good-looking nails, and getting them done is alright, but they don't bring my mind to the same level of relaxation.

This last one doesn't count as a method of pampering, but watching someone draw...man, that puts me in another world. I had a friend in one of my high school english classes who would sometimes turn around and draw a picture in my notebook. Mary. I remember staring and staring and watching as each stroke gave me more and more insight into the final picture. I used to hate it when she was done or when class was over.

Over the years...

I was flat-ironing my hair last night (yes, I do that every once in a while when I can't deal with the curls) and I noticed some grays. Those thing break my heart every time. I used to have one that I would pull out routinely. But they seem to have multiplied since having my son. So, I got to thinking about all the hair phases I've been through (staring off into space)...

My grandmother was Indian. Not American Indian, but from India Indian. I suppose her own mother used to braid her hair because that's what she always wanted to do to me.
She would part my hair down the middle and braid each side and try to make them hang down over the front of my shoulders.

I started brushing my own hair when I was about eight years old, I suppose. I thought I was doing an alright job. To help with the tangles I used Sta-Sof-Fro (you know what I'm talkin about, don't act like you don't). I used it pretty much daily. And for the most part it worked. But sometimes that brush still didn't make it all the way through. When that happened I would pull my hair back into a ponytail (at the nape of my neck) and off to school I went. That went on for about a week til my mother found out. She took my hair in hand but try as she might she couldn't get the knot out. The bad thing was, the knot was close to my head, like two inches away. You know what that meant. She had to cut it out and I ended up with my first afro! I had good friends though. They never laughed in front of me.

By the time high school rolled around my hair had grown back and I had once again resorted to the ponytail, minus the knot which gratefully never came back. My own personal twist that I added was the ponytail itself was not allowed to flow freely (not that it could anyway). I had various colors of strechy hair clips wrapped around the hair almost all the way to the bottom, so it looked like a stick. I can laugh about this now.

I can also laugh about the days of the banana clips. Remember the original cheap plastic banana clips? I tried those too but I could never get one to look quite right on my head.

Like most other black girls I gave in to the temptation to try for the 'manageable' permed hair. It turned out to not be the answer to my prayers because that stuff never worked well in my hair plus I wasn't taught how to keep it up. The ends would always split and I would end up looking like my hand was stuck to a static machine. I put in a good effort with this style. For years I permed my hair. It allowed me to have my hair out and 'flowing' or up in a french twist or even a real ponytail.

Where I'm at now is my "au natural" phase. I let all that perm grow out. Yes, I did invest in a ceramic oven and flat iron. Yes, I have a hair dryer that I sit under every once in a while. Sometimes I just twist my hair. I try to convince my husband to send me to the hair dresser once a week. That hasn't happpened but I'm not sure why. Anyway, as I did last night, sometimes I press my hair. All it does it give me some temporary flexibility with styles. What I'm really searching for is that perfect hair product to make my hair feel soft and silky. By RBG's recommendation I may try some Carol's Daughter Hair Butter or Hair Milk. Any other suggestions?

Ahh, Memories

I've done some pretty stupid stuff in my lifetime. Take a read and see if you're amused, or at least if you can relate...

Back in Toronto, I used to make a point of riding my bike every day. The day in question was no different. I left the house and started off on my route. I was less than a block away when I saw this pretty good-looking guy walking towards me. I was still on the sidewalk slowly working my way towards a side-street and there was a sign post coming up on my left side. The guy was on my right. From the moment I saw him I couldn't take my eyes away. You know what happened next. Just as he passed me I realized what I was doing but as I came to myself, so was the post. I didn't hit it, but me and bike were doing some funky maneuvers to keep out of it's way. He probably heard the commotion of squeaky metal and brakes and feet hitting the ground. The Moral: Watch where you're going when you're riding a bike.

Another bike tale
I had a boyfriend who worked at a fast-food restaurant in downtown Toronto. When I knew he was working I would sometimes ride the 40 mins it took to get from my grandparents' house to his job. His boss loved me and everybody knew me so I would get special treatment. This day was no different. I left with a paper bag full of fries and a drink. (The 40-min ride and paper bag are important here.) If you've been to Toronto you'll know that streetcars are used a lot downtown. That means there are tracks criss-crossing in every direction. So, imagine, I'm riding, on my 10-speed, with a sweating drink in a paper bag in my left hand, the light in front of me about to turn red and I don't want to stop. Overcoming inertia to get going again is my motivation for making sure I get through the green. As I'm crossing six lanes of traffic I'm also crossing at least eight streetcar tracks when my soaked paper bag finally gives way and all my food drops out the bottom in the middle of the road. The Moral: Don't be greedy trying to take food to go when you don't have to.

My first year of college I didn't yet have my license so I had to take a bus, then a train, then another bus to get to school. I met some interesting people while going that route - a guy named Evlyn, my friend Jose, and the driver of the second bus to name a few. Leaving school about the same time each day I would usually get the same bus driver, and I since I have this thing about sitting at the front of the bus so as not to miss my stop, that's where I always say. The driver would talk to me and generally I would just smile and nod. He thought I was a mute for the longest time, that's what he told me later. Eventually I opened up and before he knew it we were talking like old buddies. We talked about all kinds of junk but what interested me most was his motorcycle. How could I refuse when he offered to ride to campus to take me for joyrides? (Mom, if you're reading this, don't kill me.) That had to be one of the dumbest things I could have done. A young girl (18) leaving campus, not telling anyone where she was going or who she was going with (he was about 28/29 at the time). Well, we went riding many times. Thinking back I'm like, "What was I thinking??" He could have been a killer, a rapist, a stalker. And little young trusting me with zero world experience would have been a perfect target. Fortunately, he turned out to be a very good friend who I still keep in contact with. As a matter of fact, he came by my house about a month ago to finally meet my husband and see my kid, but he also brought he newest motorcycle. What a thrill. (yeeee haw!) The Moral: Teach your kids sound judgment.

I used to chat online quite a bit and the natural progression of things can go something like this: join a forum, have open discussions, someone im's you, have private discussions, exchange numbers, exchange pix, meet. Thankfully this experience didn't get to the meeting part. I talked to this guy online and we started talking on the phone. Honestly, he was a head case and most times it was me him and his cousin (who had more sense) having a three-way. One day I called and some lady answered and he had the quick "she's-my-sister" response. Fine. We kept talking. I sent him a pic in the mail - just a regular picture, nothing fancy, nothing kinky, I had all my clothes on. One day I get a call from his 'sister'. She tells me she's his wife and she wants to know how old I am and have I sent him a picture, was I naked, they're going through issues and are broke and I should stop accepting his phone calls and he has to go through therapy(!). Fine again. I was more than happy to jump out of that situation. Not long after she calls again, this time leaving a message, which my mother got to before me. She calls again and gets me. She proceeds to tell me off again for her $200 phone bill. I told her I had stopped talking to him and that those calls were obviously before we spoke the last time. I was so nervous. I didn't want this crazy woman or her crazy husband coming after me for nothing. My mother caught on about then and took the phone from me. They had a nice little chat and luckily that was the last time she called. The Moral: Don't be naive.

I'm Freeee :(

Similar to BruthaFree, I'm free this weekend. But while he is child-less, I am husband-less. I would love to say I have the whole house to myself, but I'm here with three children (a 14 year old, a 10 year old, and a 2 year old). It's been a long week but I'm finally at the end of it. I think I've only had one full night's sleep since Monday. Sid's been sick with the flu and waking up in the middle of the night/morning with raging fevers.

Views of My Life

Without the rose-tinted glasses, this is a real-world view of my life:
* married to a man who is a big playful teddybear of a guy
* two step-kids
* one biological son (Sidney)
* a two-story, three bedroom, two bathroom house
* wake up at 5:45 am
* go to bed around midnight
* great inlaws
* a "different" kind of mother and absent father
* software engineer

Put them glasses back on:
* married to a man who is a big playful teddy bear of a guy
* two step-kids
* three biological kids
* a two-story, six bedroom, four bathroom house on five acres of land with a vacation house in Germany, a penthouse in NY
* wake up at 9 am
* go to bed by 11 pm
* great inlaws
* a mother with a loving husband
* a talent agent for my kids, a voice-over artist, and a philanthropist

Memorable Moments

I have been blessed to have so many beautiful people come in and out of my life. When I hear horror stories about others' experiences I can't help but be grateful for my own past experiences. That's not to say I haven't been hurt, but that's another post. Right now I just want to let you in on some of my more memorable people and experiences. (Sorry if you're not on this list. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be.)

Craig - my best friend during my freshman year at college
We went at the grocery store one day to look for a gift for a mutual friend. I happened to spot the cutest, softest bear. It was dressed like a painter and even had the little french hat. I showed it to him, not for him to buy it for our friend, but just to show it to him for the sake of it. We eventually left the store and that was that. One evening following he picked me up in his mom's Volvo, probably to go to choir practice. I got in and buckled up and something caught my eye. I turned around and did a double-take - it was the same bear I had shown him the other night! And the poor little bear was even strapped in! I was so excited. I still have that bear. Craig was such a sweetheart. He was instrumental in my learning to drive too, how could I forget (he taught me how to drive an automatic; my mother taught me how to drive a manual).

G - my best friend for the rest of my college years
I learned so much from him. I was so naive in college and he could easily have taken advantage of me, but he looked out for me in so many ways. My mother really liked him too. I remember the car accident we were in the day after his grandmother's funeral in Jamaica. Some lady driving a car without insurance t-boned us as we were making a right turn. It was totally her fault and she knew it. I was in the front passenger seat, G's cousin was driving, and G was in the back. Not wearing a seatbelt he was thrown from one side of the car to the other; unconscious. Needless to say, we spent the rest of the evening at the hospital. His cousin ended up with a neck brace while I got away unscathed. Not the best memory, but memorable nonetheless.

Jose - a really good friend all along
We took a 10-day roadtrip in my champagne-colored 1995 BMW 740i (oh, how I loved that car, but I digress). The road showed us some interesting sites. Memphis, Tennessee, to Toronto, Canada, to Niagra Falls, to NYC, then back home to South Florida. We saw kids doing flips in the road, we drove past a field on fire, not to mention we ran into some mean-looking Georgia Troopers outside the state penitentiary. That was the best roadtrip I ever went on, bar none. We found out that we are uncannily alike and we can talk about absolutely anything without reservation or fear of judgement. We toyed with the idea of becoming a couple, but finally decided against it. We are way too much alike.

K - my love and baby daddy
We were laying around one evening and he says to me, "So, when are we gonna get married?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Next month" (meaning April). He thought the time was too short and I agreed so we decided on June instead. This June 24 will be four blissful, not-without-trials, years.

********************************************

Notice no women? Yeah, me too. There were some, but I'll save them for another post.