What To Do?

True to form I'm in a bit of a quandary. Remeber a while back I said I wanted to write a book? Yeah. And remember the other day I said I've always been indecisive? Right. I really want to try my hand at finishing a book. Especially with NaNoWriMo starting November 1st, now would be a great time to try again. With all the zillion possible topics my problem is choosing one. Real-life documentary type? Fiction novel type? Person? People? Place? First-person narrative? Third-person? Superficial entertainment? Meaningful?

You see I have issues! LOL

***************************

I'm still hanging out in Georgia. I almost don't want to go home. NOT because I love it here but because I'm not looking forward to going back to a musty house where the fridge had to be left open, the floor needs to be cleaned, and gas is in short supply but I'm still expected to go to work!

10+1 Dalmations

Walking contradictions? You tell me.

1. I'm shy but I like to be the "talk of the town" in a good way.


2. I have a mixed heritage (doesn't everyone). My father's side of the family is from Grenada. My mother's family is from Jamaica but that includes her Indian grandparents (from India) on her mother's side, and her Irish and English grandparents on her father's side.


3. I like decisive and confident men because I'm not.


4. I would love to move back to a place with seasons but I would so miss the sunny days of South Florida.


5. I have one child and would love more; I just can't seem to make it happen.


6. Once upon a time I wanted to be a judge but I didn't want to have to be a lawyer first.


7. I used to have a high metabolism - it takes more work now than it used to for me stay trim (read: I'm getting flabby).


8. I'm a girl who doesn't have many girlfriends - no patience.


9. In many ways, I'm the opposite of my mother. In other ways we're the same. (Profound, huh?)


10. I would love to be a social butterfly but I don't have the patience to get to know people.

You knew it was coming...

Wilma
The storm, I thought, was pretty bad. I heard of cars being turned over, we saw school portables and airplanes overturned. Concrete poles holding up power lines were broken from being pulled down by other poles; huge trees toppled over blocking streets; street signals swinging at dashboard height. Fortunately I had water, but of course no power. We were lucky to have a grill with gas as did our immediate neighbors.

I slept through most of the storm but I heard it battering the window - esp. the second half of the storm after the eye passed.

By Tuesday we decided we may as well leave South Florida and head on up to Jacksonville for a day since there was nothing else to do. My mother invited her neighbor so we ended up having to drive two vehicles. 60 miles later my car ran out of gas on the highway. Our efforts to find gas along the way were fruitless obviously. We did find one place but we got turned away because the 7 o'clock curfew was only a half hour away. The local hotels were full. K and K Jr were stuck on the highway and my mother's truck had less than half a tank left. My mother's neighbor didn't want to end up in Jax for two days so we figured the best thing to do was head back home, which we did. We left my baby (the TL) on the side of the road and went home. Dinner was rice cooked on the grill along with various other things we found around, and some soup. Wed morning we found that my father-in-law had some gas in a gas can. He drove with us the 60 miles north, refilled the truck, filled the gas can for the TL, and drove it the 60 miles back! And here we are in Albany, GA, at my sister's place. *whew* Of course, yet again, we didn't make it to Jax.

I suppose we'll head home on Sunday. Maybe we'll stop in Jax on the way back.

New Additions

Hey, All! Just wanted to let you know that I've recently added a few blogs to my blogroll:

What's da Buzz? - This girl, Lily, is on top of the entertainment scene

No Longer Confused - I've been reading her for a while but I figured I was being selfish keeping her to myself

JDid - a buy from my hometown of Toronto!

Stunner - writing from yawd (Jamaica)

Ben the Bald - a thirty-something yr-old friend of mine I've known since college

So Like Me

SP had a cool post about who would play her if there was a movie about her life. She didn’t know and I don’t know either. I thought and I thought but I just couldn’t think of anyone. But as I read on she also talked about how people see her versus how she sees herself and, of course, logically, I started thinking about myself.

At first glance most would find me "cold, emotionless, and intelligent" as I’ve been told. Those who know me think I have an answer for everything; that I’m argumentative. “Is there anything good about you, ShellyP?” I respond with a resounding “Yes!” My friends would also say that I’m sincere and caring, intelligent and articulate (what?).

As for myself, I agree that to the casual observer I appear uncaring. That’s because I really don’t care. I don’t care if people don’t agree with me, or if they don’t like what I’m wearing, what religion I am, or any of that. Intelligent and articulate? Ok, I certainly don’t feel that way most times. I’m shy (which is strange considering how much I claim to not care) and don’t like speaking in public. I do it if I have to but my body goes through a lot of stress beforehand. I feel like I struggle to find the words to say. Caring and sincere I agree with. Argumentative? Me? Yes, I’ll admit that I love a good fight, but you best come prepared cause according to benthebald if we’re arguing about apples I’ll throw some oranges in there. One of my main problems is that I have hard time choosing one thing. I remember back in high school during lunch nyabg and I would go by the corner store to buy some chocolate and it would take me, like, ten minutes standing in front of the display trying to decide what I felt like having. I still do that but I’m getting better. Things don’t tend to bother me too much unless I expect you to know better in which case I’ll wink at your ignorance. The fact that I can hide most of my emotions goes hand in hand with my seeming coldness I assume. You never know how close I am to breaking because I won’t give you that upper hand. And if I you think you see a chink in my armor, it’s probably because I’m letting you see it for a reason.

I used to be a ‘yes’ person (Ms. Giget, can you relate?). It was very difficult for me to say ‘no’ to most requests. Being married helped me to change that. My husband helps me to keep my priorities straight. Now, for the most part, I don’t have a problem saying ‘no’. As a matter of fact, I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

My self esteem is ok. It could be better but it has improved over the past few years as I’ve come into my own and realized my independence. I’ve been blessed with a great support system.

***********************

What makes you feel sexy? The Princess mentioned jeans and a baby tee (#92). I’ve heard others talk about lacy undergarments. Some may say it’s wearing makeup or perfume or a particular hairstyle. What about a bubble bath? Silk sheets? How about you?

I think I found them!

http://duoboots.com/2_classic.php

Pour Some for the Lost

I have this thing about eating in my car - I love to do it. If it's a nice day I'll park in the shade, roll the windows down, recline the seat after turning on some music and eat my lunch. It doesn't matter if I'm alone or not. Usually it's just Sean Paul and I chilling - me eating, him singing. Those are good times. These times were more frequent before my job changed locations. Today, however, I had the luxury to indulge, but dang it if I didn't lose a black bean!

************************************

A while back I introduced you to Steve. I don't know why I thought about him today, but I did. I said I would have loved him, but I believe I always have. That's not to say I would forego life as I know it to be with him, but it's the kind of love you have for someone who is close to your heart - not necessarily an erotic love. The last time I saw him I was in Toronto for a short period of time visiting my sick grandmother. I managed to track him down and he came by to see me. I bought grapes and strawberries for us to snack on. We sat in my grandmother's living room and talked and ate. He was pleasantly surprised that I prepared anything at all. Then he had to leave. We walked and talked and talked some more. What a sight we were standing on the sidewalk across the street from the subway station - me in my "I'm too cute Shirley Temple curls and semi-sophisticated outfit" and him in his rude boy gear - we looked like opposites. I didn't care. Just before he left we kissed for the first and last time, but dang it if I didn't wish we could stand there kissing forever!

************************************

I found these on Manolo's Shoe Blog - they are so amazing! I have a problem with my calves being too skinny to fit into ANY boots I find. I did a search a couple of years ago and finally found the perfect leather boots made to fit, but dang it if I didn't lose the website!

************************************

Love Suggestion: Go home and play in your loved one's hair today for at least 10 minutes. (You nasty people - I meant the hair on the top of his or her head!)

Long days. Short nights. Not enough sleep. No time to think.

I was talking to a friend on Friday and the question came up: Why do men feel the need to impregnate women? I mean, even men that have their own women - a guy will have a female friend and the thought of her having his baby will be a fleeting thought in his mind. Why is that??

I don't know what would happen, but I would NOT be the one!! Check this out - an 18-yr old 'girl' moves out of her mom's house and into a friend's basement, but she's suing her parents for child support so she can go to college!!

I have no words for this. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you think you're grown enough to move out and live by your own rules, then go ahead, but think you can force me to support you. Shoot. I'd have to put all my money in some offshort account or something!

I Wonder

...if the Princess would approve of these?

What To Say?

What do you tell someone who is quickly losing faith in marriage? I have a good friend (no, I'm not talking about myself) who is contemplating getting married. He says he doesn't have many examples of successful marriages to look at. What can I say? He says too many marriages end in divorce, and even if they don't, a lot of times the couples aren't happy. I point to mine and he agrees that it's a'ight. But that's about it. Any ideas on how I could help him to regain the lost faith?

I Didn't Deserve It

I've guess I've gotten on someone's good side. I went in to work this morning only to find a tin of cookies waiting for me on my desk. Apparently, one of my co-workers made good on his promise to reward my efforts of fixing bugs for his project.

Ceramic Iron

My sister recently purchased a ceramic iron. When I called her up and asked her how she liked it she told me that she loved it. So, being the product junkie that I am I went out and bought one ($70). I currently have the old style metal flat iron that you put into a ceramic oven. I burned myself and my hair a few times with that one. The ceramic one is electric and has multiple settings. So far I love it. Although I read reviews on the particular model that I bought and it got low marks for reliability. I'll be returning it this week and buying a better model ($127)...eventually. In the meantime it has worked wonders in my hair. My hair is now pretty much how I've always it to be. There has usually always been a trade-off: stick-straight permed hair that's easily damage and has to be roller-set and re-permed every few months, or natural thick frizzy curls that can't be worn loose, or flat-ironed straight and frizzy and dry and damaged. Now, it's none of those. It's soft, not sticky (I only use one heat-protectant product on it and that's it), smooth, thick, straight, full, and healthy. I've gotten many requests from girlfriends who want to come over and have me try the iron in their hair. I just smile.

You've seen the front. Here's the back.

Me and HIM


More here ->

3 More Things

THREE THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
[1] unconscious drivers (those unaware of their surroundings and are inconsiderate)
[2] how anyone could hurt a child
[3]

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK (at work):
[1] a wedding picture of me and my husband
[2] a picture of my friend/co-worker's son
[3] my daily work journal

THREE THINGS I’M DOING RIGHT NOW:
[1] trying to answer these questions
[2] watching Sid eat dinner
[3] mentally preparing myself for a 4-hr drive

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
[1] be financially independent
[2] write a book
[3] travel the world

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
[1] frustrate people
[2] figure things out
[3] make my husband laugh

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
[1] quiet
[2]
[3]

THREE THINGS I CAN’T DO:
[1] whistle
[2] tell an outright lie
[3] not feel deeply when something really good or really bad happens

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
[1] God
[2] your conscience
[3] the people you know love you unconditionally (but still evaluate their advice)

THREE THINGS I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
[1] You can learn something from everything and everyone, but you shouldn't necessarily follow through with the advice.
[2]
[3]

THREE THINGS YOU SAY:
[1] really, now?
[2] Sidney, I love you.
[3]

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
[1] my husband's tilapia dinner
[2] my husband's mom's soup
[3] Longhorn's chocolate stampede

THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO LEARN:
[1] how to be more of a people-person
[2] cosmetology
[3] doing voice overs

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
[1] lemonade
[2] water
[3] sprite

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
[1] Voltron
[2] Electric Company
[3] Flintstones
[4] Thundercats
[5] Smurfs
[6] The list goes on, and on, and on....

THREE THINGS YOU WISH PEOPLE WOULD LEARN TO DO:
[1] be honest with themselves
[2] not judge others
[3] be more logical

As you can tell, I had a bit of trouble answering these questions.

"My Peepz"

A fellow blogger is trying to do something. Let's give him some support! BrothaBuck has designed a calendar and he'd like to introduce you to his characters. Meet "My Peepz" here. And if you can, send him some feedback. Good or bad, I'm sure he would love to hear from you.

I played hookie today

I took the day off from work. I guess you can tell by the post title. *shrug* There's something to be said for not being at work when you're supposed to be. It's different than a holiday or a hurricane day. I spent the day with my boo. We hung out, ran errands, picked up Sid early from daycare. It was nice. And now I have a short work week to look forward to. Plus, hopefully I'll be in Jacksonville on Thursday signing the closing papers on one of our properties that we're selling. Then we only have one other to get rid of. I tell you, tenants can be a pain in the behind. Why people feel they have the right to live for free while you have to fight to keep your property is beyond me. These people in our other property are driving me crazy. They're preventing potential buyers from even looking at the house and besides paying the mortgage every month I have to pay to evict them! It's not like I'm rolling in dough. Even if I was, other people's children are not my responsibility!

At the risk of sounding fanatical

If I didn't make this post, I wouldn't be true to myself.

This morning I attended part of a 24-hr prayer session at my church. It began Friday at 6 pm. The Sabbath School department was responsible for leading out from 6 am to 10 am Saturday morning. Trying to be responsible (since I had to ask all of my secretaries to also be there at various times during our segment) I got there just in time. It was only a few of us at first. There were some sincere prayers and testimonies and as others showed up they joined in. One particular lady came and changed my morning.

I never attend these sessions expecting anything. As a matter of fact, I've only been to one other event similar to this one - it was a sunset to midnight prayer session some years ago. I remember leaving the church with such a feeling of peace and harmony. I can't even begin to explain. The following Sabbath morning service was unlike any I had ever had before or since. But still, I went this morning expecting to fulfill my duty and go home and take a nap. We have regular prayer meetings every Wednesday night, but it's not the same. It feels too routine, too...forced.

As we stood there one lady came and poured out her heart about the burden she felt for her children. She was so sincere. Her three oldest children (of five), when they were home in Jamaica, were in the church. But in seeking a better life for her family she brought them all here and I feel she almost regrets it. Sometimes she doesn't know where they are for days at a time. I couldn't imagine her pain and guilt. As a visiting brother prayed for her children by name I couldn't have spoken even if I wanted to. All I could was think of Sidney, and all the other children, and all the broken-hearted parents.

Other prayers went up for various things like healing and thanks and forgiveness. This last one again made me realize how far short I fall from being the person I should be.

By 8:30 am I left to come home and get the rest of my family. I didn't really want to leave. The closeness and the fellowship and the open hearts were healing to the spirit. I wish we had more prayer sessions like this. Not necessarily 24 hours, and not necessarily set up for a specific time each week or month, but as the Holy Spirit prompts.

This one thing I can say for certain, I would rather live my life as a God-fearing Christian and die wrong, than to live my life to please myself not believing in God and be wrong.