The Nerd In Me Coming Out

It's not a full moon, is it? I read this link about the 42nd prime number and I found it so interesting! 7 million digits is a whole lot of digits.

Self-esteem

I'm jumping on the bandwagon and talking about self-esteem today. I took a self-esteem test recently just for the fun of it. I think it was A who sent it to me. I thought I had pretty good self-esteem up to this point. Apparently not, according to my failed test scores. Or maybe it's a ploy to get me spend money to boost my self-image?

I've read quite a few posts lately where the theme was self-esteem. What is it with our preoccupation with this topic? Even more importantly, why do so many of us doubt ourselves, our abilities, our worth? How can we live in this capitalistic, materialistic, self-centered society and still lead happy, complete lives? Is it possible?

Today and Yesterday and The Day Before That and...

So many things in my head, but as usual, I can't seem to pick a topic for my post (sigh).

I heard a clip of a song that goes, "Lollipop, lollipop, oh, lolly, lolly, lolly, lollipop (pop) bu doom boom boom..." I remember that song from high school days. There was a really nice girl I knew who used to sing that song aallll the time. And she liked lollipops too. She died at the end of senior year. RIP J.

Writer's block, I suppose. I'm not brave enough to put all my business out there just yet.

Bad drivers - my pet peeve. I admit, I'm not the best driver in the world, but at least I try to be considerate.

I love Sidney.

Oh, now I can't even remember what was going on in my head. I'm gettin old.

Diggs was talking about worst dates. I had to think awhile, but I've had a couple. I met a guy on the internet (yeah, I know, but I did). We chatted online and seemed to get along - lots of coincidences too. I knew they weren't him trying to kiss up because he would just tell me something random and out would jump a kwinkydink. Anyway, we talked on the phone a few times and I finally agreed to go out to lunch with him. He picked me up at my job. That in itself could have been a disastrous decision, but he didn't turn out to be a stalker. So, he picks me up and I look at him and think, "He looks older than he said he was." I started to doubt my judge of age, but could I really have been that far off? Turns out he was about 20 yrs older than me (gasp), white hair and everything. He had told me that he didn't smoke, but he did...yet another lie. Of course, we ended up having less in common than I thought. He asked me if since we weren't going to hook up in a relationship if we could just have a no-strings-attached meeting of the bodies. Needless to say, my answer was a resounding 'no' and I never saw him again.

Just Read

Just finished reading David Copperfield. Not a bad read. Before that it was Great Expectations. I liked that one. I happen to have Tom Sawyer so I guess that will be next.

Yesterday was a much needed holiday. I know, I just came back from Jamaica, but that wasn't a vacation. Now I have a 4-day workweek to look forward to. I like that.

This messed up hand business really gets on my nerves sometimes. I vascillate between being mildy concerned to really down about it. I keep trying to do what I used to be able to do, and I of course keep finding that I can't. Typing freely is one thing I really miss. The other day I poked my eye out. I don't remember what I was trying to do, but my pinky finger ended up in my eye. A bit later I went to the bathroom and while washing my hands I looked in the mirror and my eye was bleeding (just a bit, but still)! I'd never had that happen before (the poking or the bleeding). Quite disconcerting esp. since I couldn't remember what I did to cause the damage.

Sid's school had a banquet this past Sunday. I was one of their little helpers - putting out peanuts, taking tickets, taking pictures, serving, cleaning up. I hadn't planned to stay the entire time, but I was enjoying helping. Sid was sitting with my mother most of the time and he was enjoying himself too, so we stayed.

Back to Work and then some

Valentine's came and went. No big deal. We went out for Italian, the three of us, me, K, and Sid. We were in and out of the restaurant in an hour. Not bad for no reservations on Valentine's Day. No flowers, which was fine. Flowers are beautiful, but they die, and I don't have any shade of green thumb.

I finally had to go back to work. I wasn't ready for it. I liked living the life of a child - not a care in the world except what I want to eat for dinner. I don't feel very productive either. I'm working but it feels like I'm moving in slow motion.

My trip was nice but coming back was horrible. Not just because I didn't want to come back to my life, but because I was sick. Monday night I woke up with a slightly queasy stomach, but I ignored it and went back to sleep figuring it wasn't anything. Tuesday morning we had breakfast and headed out. By 3 pm some chills came over me. I thought it was the orange juice I was drinking but I realized soon after that it wasn't. Within half an hour I was freezing and shaking and coughing. I brought a cough with me to Jamaica but this new cough was different. We got to the airport by 4:30 pm and all I could do was look for a seat. I felt like I didn't want to move. I had a terrible fever, I just knew. I felt so nauseous. We found out our flight was delayed an hour. Oh, was I excited about that! I wanted so badly to get home to my bed. On the way to the security area I made a pit stop in the bathroom. I couldn't take the feeling anymore. I picked the first open stall and went in and so did my finger...right down my throat it went. What came out I'll leave to the imagination. (My angel of a mother-in-law escorted me and waited understandingly for me to finish.) Afterwards I felt amazingly better...for a short period of time at least. K bought me some mint tea but I couldn't manage to drink more than half. Everyone else was starved so they feasted while I manned the luggage doing all I could to stay awake.
If that was all there was to the story I'd be so glad, but there's more. I got a chance to take a nap when my husband came over. I curled up as best I could on a little bitty airport lounge chair, resting my head on my husband's lap. When we heard the boarding announcement there was relief in the air and we all trudged in line. Me, in the meantime, realized that my left hand couldn't open all the way. I thought it would tingle and get back to normal, but it never did. It's been in this semi-paralysis ever since. It doesn't seem like it's getting better either, but the dr says it'll take a while (how long is a while?). The dr also had the pleasure of informing me that I had bronchitis and he put me on 7 days of antibiotics.

I was in bed til Sunday. Besides feeling crappy for the first three days, it was heaven being home and not doing anything. If I was well I would've felt obligated to do housework. Being sick I didn't feel any guilt laying in bed all day sleeping. (I wasn't up to watching tv or being on the computer, as much as I thought I wanted to.) We watched a bunch of movies (I, Robot, Hero, Bourne Supremacy, Collateral, some Wesley Snipes movie, and Manchurian Candidate).
Enough rambling for now.

2 sick

i wish i could write a post about my trip to Jamaica but I really can't right now. I went to the dr yesterday and was diagnosed with bronchitis and neuritis of the left hand/arm. the neuritis means I've lost partial control of my hand. i can close it, i just can't open it or lift my fingers to type. i don't know how long this will last. just typing this i'm breaking into a sweat. it's pretty strenuous. hopefully i'll be back to myself w/i the month. pray for me.

Getting Ready...

It's always hectic when an unexpected trip comes up. I'm leaving tomorrow for Jamaica for my husband's grandmother's funeral. I have so much I want to get done before I go and here I am writing in my blog. A lot of sense that makes.

Went to the eye doctor's yesterday evening. Apparently my eyes haven't gotten any worse. They're still 20/20+. Just another one of those blessings. Kinda like my good teeth that every dentist and their assistants keep raving about.

Oh, gotta run before my husband catches me 'wasting' my time...