Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Edit: I have been rightfully chastised for only showing stepson in a 'bad' light. My blog is not the news channel - there should be some good news sprinkled in there somewhere. So, let me preface this post with the following statements. Stepson is by no means a bad kid. He's actually a pretty good kid. He does well in school, is a quick learner, (as far as I know) doesn't do drugs and isn't a bully. He's a regular kid with regular kid tendencies. With that said, let's get on with the post...."

After the zucchini pancake disaster I still had zucchini left over. What to do with it, I wondered. Well, the next day I made herbed rice (really good) and zucchini fries (not bad although Sid has now decided that zucchini is nasty). Yesterday I made more of the berry muffins. Today I want to make a baked garlic cheddar chicken (recipe from the net). I really wanted to make the caesar chicken sandwich on ciabatta bread that I found in my cookbook but I have yet to prepare the chicken - but I did buy all of the necessary ingredients so I had better use them.
Edit: I did make the garlic cheddar chicken and everybody liked it.

On a different note... If your child is living in your house is it acceptable for that child to act like he is living at a bed-and-breakfast? He comes home, goes in his room, closes the door, and basically only comes out to eat. Is this normal 16 yr-old behavior?? I know I could never have done that in my mother's house. Keeping the door closed alone is a sign of disrespect. To me it's a way of saying this is my life here and you all are out there and the twain don't meet unless I want it to. This, of course, is wrong, because as long as we are responsible for him his life is not off-limits to us. Am I reading too much into this? I don't want to hear about privacy. He may think he needs privacy but to do what? Every day all day??

I don't like it and I've told him to keep his door open. What does he do now? The door is not closed anymore but is only open a half inch or so. His father doesn't like it but doesn't say anything. He's quickly developing his own attitude to this situation (and others). I'm the stepmother which makes it difficult to say anything. I know that if it was Sid this would not be going on. I would have put a full stop to it a long time ago. Having stepkids is hard. The biological parent can easily get defensive when something is done/said to their children. Hubby has never done this. Regardless, I'm well aware that there is a line and I try to stay far away from it, so 99 times out of a 100 I talk to hubby and he is the enforcer. There is that 1% though and it's a fine balancing act. One wrong move could set a lot of negative actions in motion. And I certainly don't want to make things worse than they are. But a kid has to learn respect.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go 'head Chef Shelly.

You're in a tough spot with your stepson. I do think its normal for a 16 yr old to retreat to their room whenever possible.

Anonymous said...

if i recall correctly, i kept my door closed all the time too. apparently (i dont remember), i went through a period of keeping EVERYONE out and yelled and screamed alot. You remember that age. parents are annoying and get in the way of the 'important' things you have to do. granted - you and your mom's relationship was probably different, but most teens do not keep their doors open. but, you should be able to go in and chat/check up on him without it be too much of a problem.

chele said...

Yeah, it's normal behavior for my 16-year old too. When I wanna know what's going on I knock on the door (don't want to see something gross) and go in. I sit on his bed and hang out for a while. Although, since he's been grounded for his grades he spends more time in the living room.

The Gig said...

Wow Shelly -- that sounds a lot like my daughter-in-law who also has two step-daughters, one of which she helped to raise. There were a lot of step-parenting issues. It seems as though the biological parent can be a little too defensive when it comes to that child, thus putting the step-parent in a difficult situation. I believe every person who is dealing with a step-child needs prayer and a lot of it. I commend you for your efforts. Hang in there and may the Lord Bless you all.

Lāā said...

All that talk about food has me hungry. Shoot I was hungry anyway.

My 15 year old does the same thing. I guess it's just a period they do through.

It doesn't sound like your husband would mind you stepping in and treating him like you would your own. Sometimes tough love is what some children crave. You can't be afraid of overstepping your boundaries if he's in your household. JMO

Buck said...

Whenever my daughter would visit, at about that age, that's exacly how she acted. Stayed in her room, came out long enough to frown at us all. But, supposedly loved visiting us.