Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I Wish I Could Take Credit For These


#10 Life is sexually transmitted.

#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.

#8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.

#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of
illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.


chele said...

That was too funny!

hungry and horny, indeed.

Miz JJ said...

Lol @ the mad cow disease. Department of Agriculture would start tagging all humans.

ms. complexity said...

I know it's wrong...but I laughed my head off at number 6. Is it REALLY wrong that I envisioned doing this to someone?

God help me. I should not be thinking such thoughts but I still giggled.

Shawn said...

that gave me a good laugh

princessdominique said...

I love #10.

Shai said...

Funny list. LOL. Things that make ya go, hmmm.