I thought I was the only one, or that I was just weird, but apparently I'm not alone. I'm 30 years old. I feel like I could still be in college. But I'm a mother and a step-mother and a wife. How could this be? How did I get here? I'm an adult? I have to be responsible for other's lives, I'm not a dependent anymore. Amazing. And what do I have to show for my 30 years of life? Well, definitely gratitude. I thank God for all the blessings he has showered on me (too many to list, believe me). Yes, I have the sweetest little boy in the world. Yes, I have a fine speciman of a husband who loves me. Yes, I have a relatively good-paying job with a good working environment. Yes, I still have my health. Yes, I have a house. What else? Who am I trying to convince anyway? I've already convinced myself that I've accomplished some important things. Of course, there's always room for improvement. There's so much more I want to do. If I could afford to not work what would I do? TRAVEL!! The places and cultures - too much to take in and not enough time. If you're reading this and you're single w/o kids -> TRAVEL. Learn new ways to view the world. You might have a paradigm shift and your whole world could change.
I have a friend who is wandering. I'm not sure what she's looking for. Happiness? A feeling of accomplishment? Wish I could help her but I don't know what to say. She needs the courage and discipline to choose somethings to do and stick to them. If she was living here I would help her - it's difficult when you live 1500 miles apart.
Btw, just finished reading "A Tale of Two Cities." I was supposed to have read it in high school but never did. I mean, I read some of the first book and part of the third book but that was it. Even reading this time around was somewhat difficult. But what amazed me, besides being a beautiful story, was the literary genius. I wish I could evoke the imagination and manipulate the English language the way Dickens does. And speaking of books, I signed up for NaNoBlogMo. The first week will be tough because I will have very limited access to the internet. And while it appears I have no trouble writing, I actually do. I have to make a conscious effort to be creative (unlike my aforementioned friend to whom it comes naturally) and then I don't want it to seem forced. (sigh.)
Friday, October 29, 2004
Sunday, October 17, 2004
First One
First post about "this life." Not much to say, yet too much to say. Have a lot on my plate right now. (Not literally, but almost.) I'm a mother, you've probably noticed. I'm married. I work fulltime. I'm active in my church. I want to rekindle our local NSBE Alumni flame. I have a normal dysfunctional extended family. I would be glad if I could just once sit down and be me without having to juggle all the other hats.
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